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Wedding Day - if we could do it over!

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  • Wedding Day - if we could do it over!

    If I could redo the whole thing I would do what my ex and I originally planned to do which was to have a wedding in -30 weather. Of course the parents got involved and what started as a small, intimate gathering soon grew into a very big production.

    Many of us are going to have to 'get into the mood' about this ceremony sooner or later. Just because our own trips to the altar didn't pan out the way we though it would doesn't mean that our children will have the same bad luck.

    I have been to many, many weddings over the years. Some have been grand affairs and others have been small intimate occasions.

    It would be interesting to hear about what everyone thinks would be the "ideal" wedding.

  • #2
    I guess I'll have to be the first to post on my own thread.

    When I was 17 yrs old I was in Banff with a girlfriend. We were walking (actually hitchiking to be honest) near the outskirts of the town. It was a beautiful summer morning. We stumbled upon a small gathering of Native people in an opening having what seemed to be a ceremony of sorts.

    I will never forget what I saw. The bride and groom were both wearing soft buckskin outfits. The girl had a white beaded one piece dress with a simple beaded headdress with a feather. The man had a beige-colored suede shirt and pants with subtle beading. Both wore understated moccasins. The wedding party was composed of approximately 20 people. It was simple quiet ceremony right in the middle of the forest. I remember it well because it was in the morning and quite unexpected. There was no fan-fare. It was a quiet ceremony.

    Never forgot that. Wonder if the two people are still together.

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    • #3
      Our wedding was a 'do-it-yourself' sort of thing. We had planned a very simple yet elegant small wedding ... until the Aunties got involved - it ended up more like a 3 ring circus with over 200 guests many of which neither of us had ever met. We honeymooned in New Orleans (that was awesome!)
      One thing that I will never forget was the band. It consisted of various family members (some semi-pro musicians others not lol!) we had a good time, danced until the wee hours and ran out of food and wine ...
      I would not have changed a thing about the wedding --- only the outcome.

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      • #4
        Just an after-thought. The buffet was also home-made. One of the aunties actually mixed up the macaroni salad in my mother's claw-foot bathtub hahaha! It was delicious.

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        • #5
          I think destination beach weddings are the ideal. I was just remarried a few months ago on a beach in Antigua with only people that genuinely wanted to be there and sandals on our feet. A tent was set up on the beach where food was being bbqed for us and we listened and danced to a steel pan band.
          I didnt have to lift a finger as the wedding planner at the resort took care of everything.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by takeontheworld View Post
            I think destination beach weddings are the ideal. I was just remarried a few months ago on a beach in Antigua with only people that genuinely wanted to be there and sandals on our feet. A tent was set up on the beach where food was being bbqed for us and we listened and danced to a steel pan band.
            I didnt have to lift a finger as the wedding planner at the resort took care of everything.
            That sounds perfect.
            If I ever get married again, this would be what I want to.
            Casual, relaxing, small, intimate.

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            • #7
              Takeontheworld:

              I'm planning to get remarried and that's what we're going to do.

              I'm skipping taking a week of vacation days this year so I can roll them into next year and have a longer time honeymooning.

              I'll wear whatever I pack into my luggage and it will just be the two of us, a witness if necessary and the person marrying us. We figured we could have a small house party when we got back to celebrate.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by takeontheworld View Post
                I think destination beach weddings are the ideal. I was just remarried a few months ago on a beach in Antigua with only people that genuinely wanted to be there and sandals on our feet. A tent was set up on the beach where food was being bbqed for us and we listened and danced to a steel pan band.
                I didnt have to lift a finger as the wedding planner at the resort took care of everything.
                My partner wants to have a destination wedding and while I like the sounds of it, even those who genuinely would want to be there, would be be able to do so because of the cost. We would want our grandparents there and our siblings, but we know a few would not be able to afford the cost, even if they had a chance to save.

                I think I mentioned in another thread that we are looking at a simple wedding. Getting married in a friends bar, a friend has a really good band that will play and another friend does catering. Weddings shouldn't be about all the fancy table clothes and napkins, it should be about the two people getting married and the ones they share it with.

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                • #9
                  Fundamentally, a wedding is about throwing a party for your family and friends and wearing nice clothes. Like any party and clothes, cost can vary widely.

                  No wonder so many people are blindsided by how divorce works; they spent way more time planning the party and picking out the clothes than they did examining the contract they were about to sign.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
                    My partner wants to have a destination wedding and while I like the sounds of it, even those who genuinely would want to be there, would be be able to do so because of the cost. We would want our grandparents there and our siblings, but we know a few would not be able to afford the cost, even if they had a chance to save.

                    I think I mentioned in another thread that we are looking at a simple wedding. Getting married in a friends bar, a friend has a really good band that will play and another friend does catering. Weddings shouldn't be about all the fancy table clothes and napkins, it should be about the two people getting married and the ones they share it with.

                    That is definately the drawback to it, some definitely cant afford to come. As my second time around...to be honest, I wasn't concerned with everyone else. That may sound selfish but we were doing what we wanted.
                    My first time being married there actually had to be 3 "weddings". The actual religious ceremony and then the 2 party/dinners as the Muslim side wouldn't be present where alcohol was being served. So, this time there was none of that and we had a blast doing so.

                    I like the sound of that, PH.

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                    • #11
                      I wouldn't change a thing, I had a perfect wedding actually. Best I ever went to and the wedding gifts covered the cost and then some. We self-planned, I made my own wedding cards (Super cute), had it outdoors in a huge tent, we had fireworks, doves, horse & carriage. It was pretty good.

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