Ex modifies her motion to full custody.

[The Iceberg]

Sorry to hear things aren't going well for you.

Like everything else in court you likely have to have the incident corroborated by a 3rd party. Perhaps consider taking your son to the doctor and let your son tell the doctor what happened?

Honey I hope the cops at least told him not to do it again. They told me they might just say that and that is sufficient for me(comparing for nothing)

For court, I meant I want to ask to keep the kid 34/43 instead of 7/7

BTW, the night she called me after police called her, she wrote in email she and her brother will sue me for false allegation, saying that I coached the child to say things. I wish I could do something else legally because, he beah
ts the kid, mom is ok with it yet goes against the person who defends the kid to protect the abuser. Just like she protected her BF when he yells at her in front of the kid and makes them cry.

[arabian]

I'm not overly enthusiastic about cell phones for kids but in your situation it might not be a bad idea. If anyone is beating on your kid again have him call you (program in your number). Your son must be 8 now? Encourage him to spend lots of time with friends at their place. Encourage him to talk to any adult (school, friend's parents) if he has problems and for whatever reason your ex won't let him phone you.

If your son tells a doctor that he has been hit by an adult the doctor has an obligation to report this to CAS. Perhaps a follow-up appointment with the doctor is in order so kid can get more comfortable with the doctor. Go every 2 weeks if need be. Tell the doctor you are concerned and offer to leave the examination room when he questions the kid (a nurse will remain).

[The Iceberg]

I'm not overly enthusiastic about cell phones for kids but in your situation it might not be a bad idea. If anyone is beating on your kid again have him call you (program in your number). Your son must be 8 now? Encourage him to spend lots of time with friends at their place. Encourage him to talk to any adult (school, friend's parents) if he has problems and for whatever reason your ex won't let him phone you. .

She took away phone from him. He is 9 now. He is not allowed to use phone there anymore. He has no friends either. Its just cousins ages 3 months to 9 years. So him staying 7 days there now after all of this worries me.

If your son tells a doctor that he has been hit by an adult the doctor has an obligation to report this to CAS. Perhaps a follow-up appointment with the doctor is in order so kid can get more comfortable with the doctor. Go every 2 weeks if need be. Tell the doctor you are concerned and offer to leave the examination room when he questions the kid (a nurse will remain).

When my kid told me how his uncle beat him I took him to a walk in doctor who has no experience with this kind of thing. Maybe I should change doctor but would you explain why should I take my kid to the doctor every 2 weeks? If anyone is willing to question the kid he or she will find out that he is full of fear/anxiety from his mom and her family. But looks like no one cares about mental abuse which sometimes is worse than physical. And he is refusing to go to mom now. Not because she will hit him but will interview him about what happens and he is so scared to go.

Also, I don't know if anyone contacted the uncle. Like Links17 said "Who beats my child*******". I am like that too but I am not going to go slap that bi**h around but I will not let it go until at least he gets a sign from police that he never touches him again.

[The Iceberg]

I so wish to take her family off the list from school to pick up the kid but the judge may slap me for that.

[standing on the sidelines]

did they give a reason why they didn't talk to the child? He was the one directly involved so they should of talked to him.

If he is full of fear and anxiety has his teacher said anything to you about it?

You could take her family off the list but then she will just add them right back on. Yes a judge may question your motives for doing it after CAS didnt find anything (not that they did a good job)

As for a phone and programming your number into in in case it happens again. I wouldn't have the kid call you, he should call 911.

[Berner_Faith]

I agree with SOTS... 911 should be his call. However him not having a phone doesn't help. You can't really force mom to allow the child to have a cell phone on her parenting time.

The best you can do at this point (since CAS didn't do a good enough job in my opinion) would be to drive home the fact to your son that if anyone hurts him in anyway, not only should he tell you but that his teachers are also there for him to talk to. They are mandated reporters, if your child says anything that is out of the ordinary, teachers have to report it. I don't know if it would be worth talking to the teacher about, telling her the incident that happened and how the child is upset about it. Giving her some insight into what he is dealing with, may be beneficial.

[Links17]

Did you think that the system will easily support a dad over a mom?
Protect your child, build your case....

The system is full of disgusting, incompetent people besides the fact it has been built upon the mantra that men are the abusers while women and children are the victims

If you are sure about what you know then you escalate....

War didn't end with the divorce... it was just phase 1.... keep your guard up and don't assume people give a crap about you or your kid. They care about their jobs, money and what is less headache.

[The Iceberg]

He is scared to call 911 unless there is someone who will back him up. He is also closed about it. Never mentions it to teachers. I will wait to see what police did. Maybe I will call cas again. The cas refused the case without talking to mom either.

Links I know what you mean.But I won't give up on this just like that. I will see if i can sue the uncle. He has been playing a tough guy all this time. Now it's enough. I just gotta play smart so they don't outsmart me in court.

[The Iceberg]

And thank you all who replied so far, your support means more than you think at this times. Its me and the little one alone right now.

[The Iceberg]

Just got off the phone with police. Investigation is still under way. The investigating officer will be back on Tuesday morning. I think I will keep the kid until then.

[The Iceberg]

At 5 pm tonight I got email from ex. It says bring the child at 6 to my place as per custody order. I wrote "Probably Tuesday" She calls with a different number and say bring the child. I said Tuesday. Why? You will find out.

Im keeping him because he is scared to go, because she is angry at him and I called the police to get the file number. The cop supported the idea until the police woman comes back on Tuesday so I can talk to her. The investigation is still open against her brother.

The emails me and "lectures me" and says we will go how court says. That's it.

If I was the judge, and she comes to me demanding full custody with a mountain of lies right after I called police to her brother and she got angry because of it and sent me a nasty email, I would think she is messed up in the head and is defending her brother. Maybe I am wrong.

She ha sued me for false allegation that I said uncle beat my kid and for "beating her up 4x during marriage where police was involved". In family court she is after full custody, support and I get EOW, she gets school and all medical (despite my signature is on almost every school, medical and sports paper available.

She was "smart" enough to send me the suing application as a proof and wrote a note "are you pooping in your pants now"?

[Pursuinghappiness]

At 5 pm tonight I got email from ex. It says bring the child at 6 to my place as per custody order. I wrote "Probably Tuesday" She calls with a different number and say bring the child. I said Tuesday. Why? You will find out.

This isn't what you should do at all.

You should send a very clear email indicating why you are keeping the child and how long you are keeping the child....or until what outcome you are keeping the child.

Don't play games. If you're going to do something as serious as keeping the child away from his mother to keep him out of harm's way...you need to be an adult and clarify that to her. The email should be objective, polite, and clear.

You two have both been very immature at how you've handled these matters and it really doesn't help if you're going into a court battle. You need to be clear, concise and thoughtful in how you approach this. These emails will be submitted in court so you need to be extremely careful about how you're communicating right now.

[standing on the sidelines]

At 5 pm tonight I got email from ex. It says bring the child at 6 to my place as per custody order. I wrote "Probably Tuesday" She calls with a different number and say bring the child. I said Tuesday. Why? You will find out.

Im keeping him because he is scared to go, because she is angry at him and I called the police to get the file number. The cop supported the idea until the police woman comes back on Tuesday so I can talk to her. The investigation is still open against her brother.

The emails me and "lectures me" and says we will go how court says. That's it.

If I was the judge, and she comes to me demanding full custody with a mountain of lies right after I called police to her brother and she got angry because of it and sent me a nasty email, I would think she is messed up in the head and is defending her brother. Maybe I am wrong.

She ha sued me for false allegation that I said uncle beat my kid and for "beating her up 4x during marriage where police was involved". In family court she is after full custody, support and I get EOW, she gets school and all medical (despite my signature is on almost every school, medical and sports paper available.

She was "smart" enough to send me the suing application as a proof and wrote a note "are you pooping in your pants now"?

While I would agree with this statement, the only drawback is CAS didn't do a proper investigation and there is no open file on the abuse. A judge will look at it thinking that you tried one way to keep child from mother and didn't succeed so you went another way. The cop cannot say to keep the child from the mother. They don't have that right as far as I know. Did the officer talk to your son at all?

Please before this goes bad, send the child to the mothers. Tell the child to call 911 or CAS himself if things get too bad. He has to learn that he has a voice and how to use it when bad things happen. Much better coming from him then from you. He is the victim but you would just look like a vengeful ex is the midst of a nasty custody dispute trying to gain the upper hand.

I know that you are a proud man and will hate the gloating the ex will do when/if you take him to her place. Look at it this way, lose some battles to win the war.

I really hope this works out for you.

[The Iceberg]

PH...I told her why I keep the kid, I just found it in one of the 2 emails I send.

I received a call today from a guy who sounds very sharp. He says he wants to talk to me and he is from child services. I thought he wants to talk to the kid and I said he is at school > He said I already spoke to him. Then later he calls and says he is going to talk to my ex. He will talk to me tomorrow AM. He sounds very serious and this is how true CAS sound.

I said ex wants to pick up the kid today. He said the kid is not going anywhere today.

She sent me a couple more of nonsense emails and I bet she will lie her teeth out to this guy.

[standing on the sidelines]

PH...I told her why I keep the kid, I just found it in one of the 2 emails I send.

I received a call today from a guy who sounds very sharp. He says he wants to talk to me and he is from child services. I thought he wants to talk to the kid and I said he is at school > He said I already spoke to him. Then later he calls and says he is going to talk to my ex. He will talk to me tomorrow AM. He sounds very serious and this is how true CAS sound.

I said ex wants to pick up the kid today. He said the kid is not going anywhere today.

She sent me a couple more of nonsense emails and I bet she will lie her teeth out to this guy.

well that is strange...I thought CAS didn't start an investigation at all. Maybe something happened to change their mind.