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  • #31
    In a perfect world your suggestions would however this is not a perfect world. The bottom line is no proof no payment. Holding costs hostage because you disagree on the breakdown isnt right.

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    • #32
      These are games. We used to try and work around all the obstacles mom threw our way. To our own detriment. We have stopped. And guess what? A lot of the games have to...she can't play with you if you don't allow it.

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      • #33
        Originally posted by Serene View Post
        These are games. We used to try and work around all the obstacles mom threw our way. To our own detriment. We have stopped. And guess what? A lot of the games have to...she can't play with you if you don't allow it.

        Yep exactly right. Thanks for advice

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        • #34
          Straw poll: is it unreasonable to request transcripts? Or should dad be provided transcripts? Ive seen a few cases where the order was for transcripts to be provided with receipts.

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          • #35
            Originally posted by rockscan View Post
            Straw poll: is it unreasonable to request transcripts? Or should dad be provided transcripts? Ive seen a few cases where the order was for transcripts to be provided with receipts.

            If a proper lawyer / a self represented person did their due diligence, transcripts for kid(s) education should be a no-brainer clause asked for, and have written into any order. No Judge in their right mind will say NO to this.

            So is it reasonable? It damn well is, and any party not willing to provide this to the payor, obviously has something to hide...which is usually the case with conniving / lying / vindictive <insert your own word>

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            • #36
              My partner got a copy of the proof of registration. That was required for the RESP withdrawal. He was also provided a doctored statement of account. He has asked repeatedly for transcripts but as yet has been ignored.

              He sees his lawyer next week. Having an order for proof of this stuff is on the list for discussion. Even that is a crapshoot as the ex doesnt adhere to the existing one. I just wanted to see if it was unreasonable to demand transcripts in addition to all the receipts.

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              • #37
                Am sorry....having a conditional / acceptance letter to a university / college doesn't mean you are attending it. Anyone joe blow can register to an online college, and do a print out.

                Your partner needs to get off their backside like yesterday, no lawyer needed if they are able to read and write, and put in a motion / application for this issue. The am trying to get a lawyer excuse should not be used as a hold back.

                If the issue is really important, then act right away. Again, as a payor, it's your God given right to have transcripts of your kids (whom you might only see once a month) education provided to you. Decision making rights might have been taken away from you because don't care / are incompetent, but education well being is one thing the courts still agree that even a moron with kids is entitled to.

                scenario...

                Your partner to the ex ----I need transcripts of the kids school marks, and attendance.

                ex ----here is the registration

                your partner.....This is not what I am asking (nice try though). I need their marks

                ex.....oh, here is the registration.

                your partner.....Again, I need the marks and attendance of schooling, not some bogus registration that doesn't tell me jack.

                You get the gist

                Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                My partner got a copy of the proof of registration. That was required for the RESP withdrawal. He was also provided a doctored statement of account. He has asked repeatedly for transcripts but as yet has been ignored.

                He sees his lawyer next week. Having an order for proof of this stuff is on the list for discussion. Even that is a crapshoot as the ex doesnt adhere to the existing one. I just wanted to see if it was unreasonable to demand transcripts in addition to all the receipts.
                Last edited by serendipitous; 05-07-2015, 01:18 PM.

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                • #38
                  He hasnt paid anything yet which is why there has been no action. Hes not sitting back and doing nothing. I simply asked if it was unreasonable to demand transcripts in addition to receipts. The statement of account was doctored to take out identifying info. Its one thing to remove a sin number from a tax form so your ex spouse doesnt see it, its a whole other to remove identifying info to show a document relates to your kid.

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                  • #39
                    Serendipitous is wrong. Postsecondary transcripts are private information - if the kid is over 18, s/he is the only person who is entitled to have them. It's not like a report card in elementary school. So the kid would have to get a copy of his/her transcript and send it to you - the institution can't provide it to you.

                    You can demand anything (including transcripts), but that doesn't mean you'll get it. I think that asking for transcripts as a condition of paying for postsecondary is unreasonable. The kid's marks in any given semester aren't relevant, what's relevant is whether s/he is registered full-time. A statement of registration will say whether the student is part-time or full-time.

                    It is reasonable to support the kid through the equivalent of a first degree and no further - so if the kid keeps enrolling and then failing courses or blowing them off, eventually his/her parents will say that's enough, we've supported your education for four years and now it's done. Registration plus tuition receipt should be all you need.

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                    • #40
                      ^^ pretty much, this.

                      Kid is also perfectly entitled to removing his/her personal information from any information disclosed, such as student no., etc.
                      Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

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                      • #41
                        His agreement has an added clause for cs to end at 22. So theres that.

                        In all the cases Ive read for Ontario, the judges ruled transcripts were to be provided by june 30 each year. Thats why I was curious. There were two or three where the judge stated something about expecting financial support means providing all documentation.

                        Hes not wavering on the undoctored statement of account. He wants to see all the credits, not just ones that dont have a code (credit name is obvious so they couldnt white them out). Hes also requested receipts for other equipment being claimed. The whole thing is a bit of a joke. "Theres nothing in the agreement that says I have to produce receipts".

                        List of questions for lawyer grows.

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                        • #42
                          P.S. I had no intention of listening to serendipidous. I forgot the rules about feeding the trolls.

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                          • #43
                            Stripes - you can't suck and blow...you state that marks aren't a condition/fair or relevant to support while going to school...but then you state that "if the kid keeps failing courses..." - how would you know if they are failing courses if you never saw transcripts?

                            I personally think it's very reasonable. And transcripts prove the child is attending school. I'm sure there are some that sign up and don't attend just for the added income from estranged parents to.

                            I've said this before - stop pushing on a rope. You are trying to convince mom/kid to supply receipts. I guarantee one of two things will happen if you write this to them: please send full disclosure and receipts to resolve this matter. If I don't receive full disclosure and receipts within five days I will consider this matter closed and will not be revisiting this at a later date.

                            If you write the above, they'll either send you the receipts and you can settle the matter. Or they won't and you can wash your hands of it until/if they take you to court at a later date. Either way, you can just put it on ignore until you HAVE to deal with it. Honestly, your spinning in circles engaging with them and prolonging the pain and suffering. Don't play by their rules.

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                            • #44
                              He gave her a deadline. If she ignores it, her problem. This is the thing though, you cant withhold info and then say "your portion is XXXX". Or say "lets work together with the estimates from last year" and then find out that there were credits and reductions that dont fall under kids portion. Or put in exhorbant costs for things with no receipts and then say "well nothing in the agreement says we have to provide a receipt". It doesnt work that way. He only learned kid didnt register for a full course load when he got the statement for the RESP withdrawal. When were they going to tell him kid needs to register for extra courses to make up those missed? Theres a lot of lying and withholding info that is ticking him off.

                              Ex has fallen into a difficult employment situation at the moment and needs this money so you know what, produce the proper proof or eat the cost. Hes done asking.

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                              • #45
                                Just an update on this...after almost three months the ex finally got legal advice and cashed the cheque. My partner saw his lawyer who explained the entire break down and what are/arent acceptable costs. He drafted the letter which my partner softened a line in and my partner sent it and a cheque. He refused to pay for any late fees since no one consulted him on what was going on and he had no idea kid didnt pay on time. He refused astronomical transportation costs that were a monthly estimate and finally miscellaneous costs for medicines and feminine products. He told his kid that he would give her gift cards for the drugstore next year.

                                Now he goes into second year with kid living off campus. Who knows what receipts she will keep. Who knows if this lawyer advised the ex of what she can and cant claim as an expense. My partner is overpaying CS right now while kid is away because their order is with FRO and he cant afford a motion to change now and then when he gets a job. Hes been carrying forward the total overpayment as insurance against future cs. It may be that he reduces that from his share of living expenses for school. He will cross that bridge when he comes to it.

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