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  • Helping a friend

    Hi there Jo here, I'm helping a friend get a divorce, she has only been married for about a year and 3-4 months and separated for a few months now. Her and her soon to be ex are very young she is still attending college and he was in the army until he left.

    She has no money for a lawyer and he wants to squeeze every penny and everything he ever gave her during the marriage saying it's all his, which I know is all BS. He tried intimidating her into giving him everything including about $12,000.00. So I stepped in to try and work out a agreement but he's now stone walling me.

    My main question is does anyone know does it cost anything to just pick up the divorce papers before filling them and how much it does cost in Ottawa to file a divorce.

    I am not a lawyer obviously nor am I a part of any legal firm, I just know the law in this situation but since she has no money right now, I need to know the basics of costs.

    Thank you for your help.

  • #2
    The forms to commence the divorce process are free and you can get them at your local court house along with a wealth of help and information on the process. They will tell you jow to start, what forms to use, and what the steps are.

    I started the divoprce process myself, but when my ex got ugly I had no choice but to involve a lawyer. As a student she may qualify for legal aid, she should look into that.

    She is entitled to half of the assets owned and is responsible for half the debt. Since this is a relatively sdhort marriage, she may have a difficult time claims any SS. If she is like me I did not ask for Spousal support, but I did have kids.
    I am speculating that there are no children as she sounds too younge.


    Here is a link to all the forms for family law,

    http://www.ontariocourtforms.on.ca/english/family/

    And here is a link to some steps on divorce in Cananda,(ontario).

    http://www.candivorce.ca/steps.htm

    On this page there is a link to setting up a seperation agreement and dealing with the assets etc.

    This site is also a wealth of information.
    Best of luck.
    FL

    Comment


    • #3
      Thanks

      The main part I needed to know is that the forms are free, and I'll talk to them at the court to see what other help they can offer her.

      As well, no kids, no solid monetary value, just a laptop, cell and some other crap along with the ring, as well as about $12,000.00 that she used for her education. There are no nor were there houses, apartments or cars bought or rented with the exception of a few hotel rooms during the marriage. They never officially lived together for longer then a few days in a hotel room. He was in a section of the US military until he deserted when she told him it was over.

      I read about half a dozen law books my biggest concern was the cost of obtaining the papers for her because it's hard to find anywhere that tells you the specific process just a bunch of do this do that with no real detail on how to.

      She wants nothing other then a divorce out of him and to move on with her life he's just being a pain, when there is no law on his side.

      Also I don't think there will be a need for a lawyer but I'll look into it, the way I see it I can represent her and if the judge does not side with that I will still be able to assist her.

      Thank you for your help greatly appreciated.

      Comment


      • #4
        If the $12,000 if from financial assistance (OSAP) or from loans/grants etc, he has no entitlement to the amount even if it was deposited into a joint account.
        These funds would be considered loaned to her for the purpose of educational costs.

        Comment


        • #5
          It was money he got paid from the military, that he transferred from his account to their joint account and loaned her, but the thing is since he married her he got extra money from the military, I they call spousal allowance or support or something like that and in the course of their marriage the best I could find (since he hasn't voluntarily give the numbers I have to wait till I can request them trough the courts to get the real numbers) just under $10.000.00 extra because he was married so I figure it basically it approximately evens things out. But yeah I got all the other details figured out, now she is just waiting to get some money so she can file the papers.

          Again thank you for your help.

          Comment


          • #6
            OK, he was given $12,000 by the military which she is in possession of, and then an additional amount was given to him after they the military was made aware of the marriage.

            If this issue was to go to court, the judge would see the two amounts as income on his part and base any likelihood of spousal support on that amount plus any regular pay amount.

            I don't see this as a gift type payment that could be deemed an asset worthy of splitting, if this was the case she basically received $2,000 more then he did. On the other hand there is the issue of, "there would not have been any money had he not gotten married". This sounds like a sticky issue because it is money given to him by his "employer" and should be seen as income not an asset to be split.

            Sorry for sounding confused.

            Comment


            • #7
              I think you misunderstood a little. The money was lent during the marriage not before, and earned income earned during a marriage which increases the net value of either spouse is subject to division if in accounts, which majority of his money is. He earned well over $60,000.00 with at least $40,000.00 - $50,000.00 going in to his accounts. Her net worth doesn't peek $2,000.00 and that's really pushing it. So technically she could get a lot of money out of him but she doesn't want anything more to do with him just to end it.

              Plus he has no case, no judge will tell a wife who's net worth is drastically less the her husbands to pay the husband over $10,000. It's basically trying to get blood from a stone.

              Comment


              • #8
                Oh I forgot the extra money he got wasn't a lump sum, it was a addition of several hundred dollars extra to his regular pay. As well the money is gone she used it to pay for school. It's hard to explain because there are a lot of details but I have evidence that he offered to buy things for her and voluntarily bought her things and lent her money. (she does have a minor debt on his credit card about $300.00 and will pay that in full herself but other then that there is no debt in the marriage) Which wasn't coursed out of him by any means of manipulation. I checked laws and case law's and can't find a single shred of evidence that any part of the law is on his side. Plus a lawyer was consulted he basically laughed when the situation was explained to him.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I thought the money was lump sum payments for going from single to married.
                  Anything he gained while married is, like you said, fair game for separation should she so desire an asset split when she seeks a divorce.

                  If she chooses she can request spousal support, but since she used his income to pay bills, and pay for her school and he now wants something back, I do not think that a judge will grant it. It appears they acted as a couple, IE she went to school to better her life, and if he didn't agree to it, I'm sure she would have sought loans to cover it instead of using his income.

                  So I do not think he has a case.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    No he deserted the US military once she told him it was over, so right not he is wanted by the US government for treason. The money was completely obtained during the marriage ON TOP of his regular salary (which is subject to equal or fair division). As well yes she attended school to better her self to gain a more promising future, and he voluntarily supported her there was no arm twisting in any way, and there is evidence that the things he bought and now claims are his were bought for her specifically. So yeah I think we have a sold case the only problem now is finding the sob.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I'll admit to being confused. Are they living in the USA or Canada? Are they Canadian citizens?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        i can't go into too many details sorry but she has lived in canada during the marrige

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Ok I had a re-read (slowly).

                          When I was looking into filing for a divorce, I read everything I could, along with making calls to the courts that I would have to file everything with, along with this site and here is what I have learned:
                          Firstly, go here: Family Law Rules Forms — Ontario Court Services

                          You want forms 8A & 36. Get the word document version. These ones allow you to fill out the forms on your computer so they look neat.
                          I don't know if I am allowed to post prices, but if not I guess a mod can edit out the prices.

                          To file form 8A in the court I need to use which isn't too far from Ottawa it was (rounding out numbers) $170.

                          Now, you posted that he cannot be found; in this case she needs to make a request that allows her to serve him via publication - this I learned as initially, I had no idea where my ex had moved to yet again, I had no phone number and no-one would provide me with any information.

                          See every province has a procedure to get service of process on a defendant whose address is unknown and cannot be found with reasonable diligence. Typically, you would need to file form 8A and get the court's permission to obtain service of process by publication. Then you would publish a notice about your divorce complaint in a newspaper of general circulation in your county/city/location (check with the court for the location you need to run the ad), for several consecutive weeks (typically four). After the publication, you are deemed to have obtained service of process on your spouse. Wait another 30 days to give your spouse time to respond, and then you can apply to the court clerk for a declaration that your spouse is in default. This clears the way for you to provide testimony to the court, on the basis of which it can grant you a divorce from your spouse. This is roughly the time when you file form 36 - this is the big gun papers that are $280 (as I said, call the local courts for these prices). The court office will help you better structure this procedure. My sister was able to file for her divorce many years ago in this manner.Hope this gives a starting point

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            We know that he's in this city, but he gave us a run around address in the States from which he said he gets his mail forwarded which I think is BS, I think I know where he is and once she's ready to file I'll find him. I have other resources at my disposal of tracking someone down. I'll talk to the courts once I go down to pick up the papers I think I just found another loop hole in the system, but maybe not have to confirm.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Unfortunately a forwarding address is not enough as he has to be 'properly' served.
                              Even though there is a no contact order against my ex's live-in girlfriend and he was warned in the past by the local police department due to bordering on criminal harassment, it was still my responsibility to ensure that he was correctly & legally served regardless.
                              Beware of 'loop holes', if it's too good to be true (regardless of the topic), then it probably is.

                              Comment

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