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  • Activities on other parent's time

    Good morning,

    It's been a while, but I was hoping that someone could direct me to where I might find some information regarding a non-custodial parent refusing to take a child to his activities on their scheduled access time.

    Non-custodial parent has moved 2 hours away and has stated that unless I change the access schedule to fit his needs, then he will continue with the EOW access and not take the child to his activities (rep sport).

    Non-custodial parents demands are unreasonable to me. NCP has 4 overnights out of 14 and 4 mid week access days out of 14. As he will not be able to exercise his mid week access any more, this has kicked up &*%%( storm - none of my making.

    This could mean the end of child's participation in his activities. So Sad.

    So - thanks in advance - I just want to look at all options - one of which is not giving up ALL the time that child is not in the activity as is requested.

  • #2
    What is the age of the child?

    How long have they been involved in the sports? At what level?

    Has the NCP previously been involved with bringing the child to these activities in the past (shown support of these activities)?

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by KeepSmiling View Post
      Good morning,

      It's been a while, but I was hoping that someone could direct me to where I might find some information regarding a non-custodial parent refusing to take a child to his activities on their scheduled access time.

      Non-custodial parent has moved 2 hours away and has stated that unless I change the access schedule to fit his needs, then he will continue with the EOW access and not take the child to his activities (rep sport).

      Non-custodial parents demands are unreasonable to me. NCP has 4 overnights out of 14 and 4 mid week access days out of 14. As he will not be able to exercise his mid week access any more, this has kicked up &*%%( storm - none of my making.

      This could mean the end of child's participation in his activities. So Sad.

      So - thanks in advance - I just want to look at all options - one of which is not giving up ALL the time that child is not in the activity as is requested.
      so basically your ex is asking you to become the NCP and only have the child EOW so the child can still be in the rep sport? Totally unreasonable.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Qrious View Post
        What is the age of the child?

        How long have they been involved in the sports? At what level?

        Has the NCP previously been involved with bringing the child to these activities in the past (shown support of these activities)?

        NCP started the child in hockey when he was 5 - he's now 14. NCP parent has always been involved and has always taken the child to hockey. It is rep level hockey - small town - big hockey.

        This has only now come up since the NCP - father - moved away and wants all the time that the child does not have hockey.

        Comment


        • #5
          SOTS - yes - that's pretty much what he is proposing.

          What sucks is that the alternative is to keep status quo - child goes to father's EOW - (and his mid weeks if he can do it) and does not go to his activity EOW when he's with his father. This is not acceptable to the team he plays on - so he will have to give it up unless some alternative can be found.

          Comment


          • #6
            the father is being totally unreasonable here. He moved and that was his choice. The child should not have to give up a sport he (the father) got him involved in when he was 5 years old.

            Comment


            • #7
              http://www.canlii.org/en/sk/skqb/doc...005skqb528.pdf. Read para 30 if nothing else.

              There are a few more cases if you need, just search canlii.

              I get where you're coming from - my S15 plays AA and AAA hockey, as well as rep soccer, high school soccer and track. All elite level sports that son hopes to use as scholarship opportunities.

              Can a more flexible schedule be worked out? Ie. instead of EOW, can it be other weekends in the month (make up days)? When travel is involved (tournaments or out of town games), the other parent could take the child just as easily as you can.

              I don't think the child should pay the price for a parent moving away or for parents splitting up. Both parents can attend activities. It's part of being a parent. That's MHO.

              Comment


              • #8
                thank you both.

                I have definitely said that I will be flexible. I have said away tournaments are his if he wants them. He refuses to go to any away tournaments. Even if it is his weekend, we switch weekends so that I take tournaments. (and pay for them)

                Unfortunately, it is "his way or the highway" as usual. He doesn't see his move as his responsibility to work around, he simply states that this new schedule will happen (and I have to sign an agreement for the new schedule) or he will deny the child

                Rock meet hard place.

                option 1 - give up all my quality time with son and get taxi license because that is all I will be
                option 2 - son gives up hockey
                option 3 - screaming match in front of son
                option 4 - useless court proceeding that goes no where, uses up another year of university tuition, and is ineffective as it will never get resolved in time - hockey starts in Aug

                Comment


                • #9
                  option 5 - the 14 yr old decides that he no longer chooses to visit his father at all, when such visits would conflict with home/away games.

                  I'm surprised your ex hasn't considered option #5 - it's certainly going to be your son's first thought, when told he has to make a choice. And at 14, this would be a decision that if my child made - I, as a parent, would find difficult not to support.

                  Both parents can attend activities. It's part of being a parent. That's MHO.
                  I agree.
                  Last edited by mcdreamy; 07-27-2013, 03:28 PM. Reason: eta: ooops, typo
                  Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    At 14, unless he's developmentally disabled, his wishes are a virtual lock. No judge is going to force a 14 year to go somewhere they don't want to.

                    You'd have to file a motion to get that solidified though.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by NBDad View Post
                      At 14, unless he's developmentally disabled, his wishes are a virtual lock. No judge is going to force a 14 year to go somewhere they don't want to.

                      You'd have to file a motion to get that solidified though.
                      yeah, I know that is what the law would support.

                      the problem is that the child wishes to see both mother and father and play hockey and not be put in the middle.

                      what I think is sad, is that you place this responsibility on a vulnerable child. No one says "do you want to go to school?" but I'm supposed to let them decide issues that are equally as important. Every time an issue arises, the child becomes a little more guarded, a little more cynical, a little more angry and a lot more withdrawn!

                      As I'm sure you are all experienced with ..... there are underlying agendas and LOTS of history! All of which makes negotiation almost impossible.

                      Comment

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