3 years and done!!

[Mother]

Just watched an episode of Criminal Minds and thought of you, Thomas. You know how in the end, before the episode is over, one of the characters quotes something wise. So the episode I watched ended with this quote by Norman Cousins: "Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us when we live". Please don't let this divorce do it to you.

[keepmovingforward]

That's a fantastic quote . Gotta print that out. I know a large part of me has died. Especially with how bitter I've become. Maybe it's the in home separation for the last 9 months.
Getting the EOW screw job in the courts and being marginalized in my kids lives would just make me even more bitter and ugly. See how deep the despair gets. But I'm not the first I guess....

[Thomas]

Mother,

I have a fantastic group of friends.
Two of them put me up in thier homes for two years.

My sister was a huge help as well as my two neighbours who were also assaulted by my ex.

I could not have made it without them. My friends were clear on one thing. They all said that I have been a true friend for many years and if the shoe was on the other foot they know I would do the same for them.

I am truly lucky.

[Mother]

Mother,

I have a fantastic group of friends.
Two of them put me up in thier homes for two years.

My sister was a huge help as well as my two neighbours who were also assaulted by my ex.

I could not have made it without them. My friends were clear on one thing. They all said that I have been a true friend for many years and if the shoe was on the other foot they know I would do the same for them.

I am truly lucky.

I am very glad to hear this and it applies to our situation here as well.

Wouldn't be able to physically survuive this past year and a half without the great support of my family, friends, my colleagues and my boss.

It felt at the time that it is easier to kill yourself than to go through this living Hell.

I feel moral obligation to help someone in the same situation with a tiny little bit that I know and can do and try to do something to change the existing situation in our family law/courts.

Please visit this site, share your experience, help others. It will make you feel good.

PS. Sounds like your ex is a piece of work.

[Thomas]

Mother,

For the next few months all my energy is going to me.
At 53 with no savings, home, money RRSPs etc etc, I have serious plans to make and implement.
When I am secure I will "Pay it Forward" LOL

I just wish those here, who I know thier stories and feel some comraderie towards, make it through!!

[Mother]

Sadly I am in the exact same boat with you so I understand you perfectly and this crap still continues with no end in site.

Best of luck!

[Mother]

Not sure what are you trying to say.

[Mother]

Right....of course not, considering you made the previous comments about blah blah blah

I have... can repeat it again if you wish

[Janibel]

After $43,000 in legal fees(no kids!!!)
Loosing my home, my cottage, my business all my RRSPs, and being through criminal court after she assaulted me ...it was a haul.

Now I am free, but... now I deal with how it has changed me,
I am cynical, have no patience, untrusting , expect the worst.

I am stronger but now have to recapture alot of the pleasant personality traits I had to ditch in order to survive.

Good luck everyone.

I had to put in my 2 cents worth, as this is one subject that I know something about ... of all the loses associated with separation/divorce the worst one is what it does to our sense of trust. Believe it or not I used to be a very cheerful, sociable and happy person regardless of all the **** that a bad marriage brings.

This legal battle with all stress, loss and aggravation upon aggravation involved has left me questioning my sanity at times ... for sure it changes us - not sure if it's in a good way. I just hope that time will ease some of the bitterness.

[TBone]

3. The ones that like to think they are indpendent and have it together, but still feel entitled, or need somebody to carry them...this one beats me

I vote on this! Same feeling

[Thomas]

Last night I get a call from collections.

My ex forged my signature on a hydro bill.
Two hours this morning spent on telling hydro one I never lived in Ottawa nor did I apply or recieve hydro.
So far they have me for $864, on a property I know nothing about.
So yes Im divorced but the fun continues.

This is now the 3rd time she has done this, once for a Credit card and the other for Bell.

So, if your done, well your not.
I have signed up at my bank to have my credit bureau status monitered.

Oh, the police dont care about fraud.

[Mess]

Last night I get a call from collections.

My ex forged my signature on a hydro bill.
Two hours this morning spent on telling hydro one I never lived in Ottawa nor did I apply or recieve hydro.
So far they have me for $864, on a property I know nothing about.
So yes Im divorced but the fun continues.

This is now the 3rd time she has done this, once for a Credit card and the other for Bell.

So, if your done, well your not.
I have signed up at my bank to have my credit bureau status monitered.

Oh, the police dont care about fraud.

Don't deal with this as a family law issue, deal with it as criminal fraud or file a civil suit seeking damages.

[Sax]

It's very hard. All I can say is that I hope you meet someone who you have a good feeling about and just open your heart a little at a time. When you do that and you feel the walls come down and stay down, you may have met someone you can love.

[FB_]

It's very hard. All I can say is that I hope you meet someone who you have a good feeling about and just open your heart a little at a time. When you do that and you feel the walls come down and stay down, you may have met someone you can love.

I'm experiencing this right now. Taking it slow and just letting it happen. The description of the walls coming down is so true.

[Thomas]

Its been awhile now since I have posted.
It would seem for the moment things have quieted down.With some time under my belt I can say that everyday it sinks in more and more how frigging good it is to be free.
I do anticipate her to come at me again. This time it will be different as I know the law, I've done my research and the chances of anything changing to her benefit are truly zero. Most important, I am not going to get upset, I am not going to break a sweat. I'll treat the next salvo like its an annoying insect that eventually will be swatted down.

I feel as happy as I was before I met her. As I am a quick learner and have done the neccesary personal improvements(Shrink and therapy), I will never make that mistake again.