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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1  
Old 07-11-2019, 08:15 AM
backinthesaddle backinthesaddle is offline
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Default Competitive sports

How do most divorced families deal with away tournaments. I have children in competitive sports and their tournaments have all fallen on "my" weekends. At first I thought it would all work out in the wash so didn't make an issue about it. Now it looks like I have all summer tournaments and the tournaments for hockey so far fall on "my" weekend. This gets costly as every tournament is about 600 minimum for the weekend. I was thinking of putting in the separation agreement that the other parent pays attending parent $250 to offset costs. Is this fair or is their some other formula?
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Old 07-11-2019, 09:49 AM
HammerDad HammerDad is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by backinthesaddle View Post
I was thinking of putting in the separation agreement that the other parent pays attending parent $250 to offset costs. Is this fair or is their some other formula?

No, that is not how it works.



My daughter is also in competitive tournaments. The costs associated with hotel accommodations and airfare for the activity are s7 expenses. The parent that incurs the expense needs to pay the costs, then forward the receipts to the ex requesting they pay their proportional share. Food wouldn't likely be found to be s7, as food falls under c/s. Gas may be if there is a great distance (more than 200-300km).


In my experience, the $250 you are suggesting would cover nearly everything (hotel for 1 night, food and gas) for a tournament/competition. So that means the parent taking the child would pay nothing, with the other parent covering the entire outlay.


I think your initial thinking of it coming out in the wash is correct, you are just not thinking long term enough. Over the course of the next number of years, or so long as the child is in the activity, it is likely that the costs will balance out. If this is a one and done year, than yeah, it isn't gonna balance. But if you foresee multiple years of this going forward, than it will likely all work out and you could be creating an issue where there really isn't one long term.
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Old 07-11-2019, 11:28 AM
backinthesaddle backinthesaddle is offline
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We are 50/50 with no child support paid by either. Tournaments are always 4 hours away and sometimes more.We go to the USA often. Hotels are minimum 2 nights and often 3. $250 is much less than half of what the attending parent would incur. I am going away this weekend and hotel is $450 alone and 6 hr drive. I am lucky we can stay with family for one night enroute to save the cost of a third night in a hotel. When my older children played competitive sports hotels could be found for $125 but now they are $165 a night. This is my 15th year in competitive sports as all my children play competitive and one has a USA scholarship so I know all about travel expenses and what the cost per weekend is. $500 cost for a weekend is unheard of. I actually thought $250 was a deal. We aren't going to deal with support and worry about section 7 expenses as we are fairly good with everything else and it comes out in the wash. It is just the tournament issue getting out of control.
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Old 07-11-2019, 12:11 PM
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Janus Janus is offline
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If the non-custodial (for that weekend) parent attends anyway, is the $250 fee waived?

If the tournament is in california, is it still just $250?

If you stay with family, is the fee still required?

If you bring family or a new husband (reducing the cost per person) is the fee still $250?

I'm not actually opposed to your idea, I think separation agreements should be clear and a fixed fee is rather clear, I'm just pointing out some areas where you guys might not agree.
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Old 07-11-2019, 01:58 PM
HammerDad HammerDad is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by backinthesaddle View Post
We are 50/50 with no child support paid by either. Tournaments are always 4 hours away and sometimes more.We go to the USA often. Hotels are minimum 2 nights and often 3. $250 is much less than half of what the attending parent would incur. I am going away this weekend and hotel is $450 alone and 6 hr drive. I am lucky we can stay with family for one night enroute to save the cost of a third night in a hotel. When my older children played competitive sports hotels could be found for $125 but now they are $165 a night. This is my 15th year in competitive sports as all my children play competitive and one has a USA scholarship so I know all about travel expenses and what the cost per weekend is. $500 cost for a weekend is unheard of. I actually thought $250 was a deal. We aren't going to deal with support and worry about section 7 expenses as we are fairly good with everything else and it comes out in the wash. It is just the tournament issue getting out of control.

If this is the case, where the costs associated are high (as in long drives and 2-3 nights stay), than it is a s7 expense. The cost would be split proportionally to income. That is how it is supposed to be done. There are too many factors involved as Janus pointed out that would impact the cost of the trip to make it a fixed number.


My kid had trips to South Carolina, Detroit, NYC and others in the US over the years. The cost for her room and travel was split between my ex and I, notwithstanding if I went as well.
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