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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1  
Old 06-20-2019, 12:49 AM
SpiritWithAhatchet SpiritWithAhatchet is offline
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Default Ex going for holidays

She wants to go for 30 days in August to Europe with our child. Since there is no school in July I believe that the child should spend more time with me because he will spend a whole month with her. How many days in July should I ask for the child to spend with me?
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Old 06-20-2019, 01:14 AM
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arabian arabian is offline
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30 days? would seem reasonable no?
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Old 06-20-2019, 07:45 AM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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I agree with Arabian. She wants 30 days you get 30 days. Would you want it split so you get 15 days before she leaves and the first 15 days after she gets back or the 30 days all at once?
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Old 06-20-2019, 11:09 AM
HammerDad HammerDad is offline
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What does your agreement/order provide for parenting time over the summer (if you have one)? Are you 50/50 or are you an EOW parent? It makes a difference in the amount of time you could request. An EOW parent requesting an entire month in make up time would not be a reasonable amount in consideration of the time missed. A 50/50 (or shared in general), an entire month would be a reasonable request.



If you have an order/agreement, and her vacation would impact your parenting time (ie. your weekends or vacations), I would request generous time with the kid as compensate you for lost parenting time in August, to be made up prior to their trip. But the amount has to be somewhat in relation to the amount of time missed.
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Old 06-20-2019, 12:19 PM
SpiritWithAhatchet SpiritWithAhatchet is offline
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Its 50/50 but no holidays mentioned in divorce agreement. I prefer 30 days in July instead of 15 days after as those will be school days. She gets time in August and I get July? She will refuse of course. Correct me if I am wrong but I should file a motion over this (if she refuses) and refuse to sign until we solve it as she needs my signature to travel with the child.
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Old 06-20-2019, 01:24 PM
HammerDad HammerDad is offline
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If it is 50/50, than you getting the month of July is not unreasonable. I would let the ex know that you are willing to agree, so long as you get July. That if she agrees to that, you will sign all documents necessary for the child to travel.


I would not file a motion, I am not ever sure what you would be filing for. In the event you and your ex are unable to come to an agreement, than it would be the ex that would need to file a motion requiring you to consent to the travel, or dispensing with the need for your consent. And I doubt a judge would feel it is unreasonable for you to ask for the same amount of time with the kid that the ex is asking for.
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Old 07-03-2019, 12:54 AM
SpiritWithAhatchet SpiritWithAhatchet is offline
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She is making the matter complicated. She wants to leave around August first and return early September (so she can put the child in her school immediately IMO). But she claims she doesn't know her leaving and return dates. She says she may know around mid July.



Then she wants me to sign a document to get child's passport. Apparently both parents need to sign it. Again, it takes about a month to get a passport and it is just weird to me. What is the passport is not ready by travel date?



After that, she says, I will need to sign a consent for the child to travel. I said I can't until I know leaving and return dates.


I am worried if I sign for passport that could be the same thing as if I sign consent for travel because I never dealt with something like this.


The principal never contacted us after the first mediation.


She and I are supposed to meet on Thursday and I am totally unprepared.
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Old 07-03-2019, 02:24 AM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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Sign for the passport for right now so you don't look bad if it goes to court. Who is paying for it?

Stick to you will not sign for travel consent unless you have an itinerary provided by her. That way on both counts you are being reasonable in case she decided to take it to court.
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Old 07-03-2019, 09:23 AM
HammerDad HammerDad is offline
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Agreed with above.


Sign the passport application. It does take time to process and the faster it arrives, the less stress it will be on everyone.


Agree to sign a consent letter only after:


1. you have agreed to make-up time, if that hasn't been worked out; and
2. once you have the details relating to the trip, departure/arrival dates, flight itinerary, destinations and contact numbers. For contact numbers, if she is using an international cell, that will suffice.


You will also want to set up a scheduled time that you can call your child during the trip. Like 2pm EST, which is 8pm in Italy (using that as an example, I don't recall where she is going).


Regarding the school registration, the child should already be registered in school. If the ex tries to change it, don't agree.
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Old 07-03-2019, 09:49 PM
SpiritWithAhatchet SpiritWithAhatchet is offline
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Thank you. I was afraid if I sign for passport I automatically sign for travel consent. She asked me to come to Government building tomorrow to sign the passport. I will pay half even though she didn't ask. She is just worried I won't sign.


The child is still not registered to any school as far as I know and tomorrow if she don't agree to my school I will go straight to court.


I asked where is consent to travel paper and she said she don't have it yet.


Anyway as long as signing for passport doesn't mean signing for consent to travel I have nothing to worry about.
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