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  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Parenting Issues

Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #11  
Old 06-11-2019, 11:20 AM
tilt tilt is offline
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In Ontario 11 year olds can (and normally do) babysit. 13 is pretty old for a babysitter around the GTA, they can usually get a paying job at $14/hour at 13/14 years old. The babysitting courses are usually full of 9 and 10 year olds (I run some in the GTA). Have you considered sending the kids for a home alone/babysitting course? And maybe a cooking class too so they can make dinner when necessary?
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  #12  
Old 06-11-2019, 11:21 AM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tilt View Post
In Ontario 11 year olds can (and normally do) babysit. 13 is pretty old for a babysitter around the GTA, they can usually get a paying job at $14/hour at 13/14 years old. The babysitting courses are usually full of 9 and 10 year olds (I run some in the GTA). Have you considered sending the kids for a home alone/babysitting course? And maybe a cooking class too so they can make dinner when necessary?
https://www.macleans.ca/society/life...d-at-what-age/

I don't know anyone who is using a babysitter that is 13 years old- much less 11. I don't know anyone who is using 13/14 yrs old come to think of it..my friends all use 16/17 yrs old for their kids.

Does your ex have a house phone? A cell may not be necessary.

Why do you think he's drinking and not taking care of the kids? Have they said he isn't?

Last edited by iona6656; 06-11-2019 at 11:24 AM.
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  #13  
Old 06-13-2019, 11:12 AM
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Janus Janus is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lorely View Post
What if he leaves the children alone?

They are 11 and 9, they can be left alone. Especially if the parent is just at a nearby store. I'm assuming they have some means of contacting the parent.


Quote:
I saw him parking in front of Beer Store and he walked to convenience store, he smokes.
Currently, smoking is legal in Canada. He is allowed to smoke. He is also allowed to drink beer. I agree it is a little weird that alcohol is legal and other drugs are not, but that's the way it is.


Quote:
I called the kids right away
Seriously? Is this kindergarten? What was your goal for this call? Do you actually care so little about your kids that you value getting your ex in trouble more than the mental health of your offspring?


Quote:
My concern is that blah blah blah
If you have a real concern, call CAS. Otherwise, stop harassing your ex and your kids. When your kids are with your ex, that is not your parenting time.


Normally, I would say you are a helicopter parent, but it is possible that you are just a controlling parent who is having trouble dealing with the loss of control that comes with a divorce.


Your ex is possibly not the best father ever. That doesn't excuse your childish behaviour. How do you think your kids feel about mommy calling them and asking them if they know where daddy is? Not great, that's for sure.
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  #14  
Old 06-13-2019, 01:53 PM
Selfrepmom Selfrepmom is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iona6656 View Post
https://www.macleans.ca/society/life...d-at-what-age/

I don't know anyone who is using a babysitter that is 13 years old- much less 11. I don't know anyone who is using 13/14 yrs old come to think of it..my friends all use 16/17 yrs old for their kids
I had paid babysitting gigs at 11/12 years old and took the St Johns course. I got my first full time summer job as soon as I turned 13, and stopped doing the babysitting as much.

If it is a 9 & 11 year old being left alone for an hour, then it is not a big deal. my partner and his ex have both left their 10 y/o on her own for up to an hour while they go to the store etc.
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  #15  
Old 06-13-2019, 02:15 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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A) the kids can be left alone and as Janus has said—control—you don’t get a say.

B) he can drink and smoke all he wants. If he is driving drunk then call the police. Other than that, get over it.

C) if he is bringing them home early then log it. When he comes to court saying you are denying him time you pull out your documentation saying he has given up his time on these dates.

Newsflash: you chose this person to be the father of your children. YOU don’t like him which is why he is no longer your husband. He is still the kids’ father whether you like it or not. Remind yourself of that when you choose to be a control freak about a dad seeing his children.
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  #16  
Old 10-15-2019, 01:10 PM
lorely lorely is offline
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How long is considered a pattern in order to change q parenting plan?
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  #17  
Old 10-16-2019, 03:52 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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what's the harm to the kids? what is he doing?
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  #18  
Old 11-03-2019, 09:12 PM
lorely lorely is offline
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No harm, they are old enough now to understand, thanks God that time opens their eyes and they see.
He is really not sticking to the parenting plan, today he sent me a text message not to drop off the kids today, no reason whatsoever, just that the kids are suffering due to our divorce. I offered him to come and see the kids/take them for a walk, he said he will do it tomorrow. Ha hasn't called them for 4 days in a row, I had to send him a message to call them.
What is next if he does the same thing? What is the legal route? Motion with status quo parenting plan? We have still outstanding CS and SS (SS which most probably we will go to litigation with)
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  #19  
Old 11-04-2019, 12:14 PM
EspoirN EspoirN is offline
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Default Question - ignoring court order

My ex is stalking me and our daughter. He was issued a court order at the case conference for supervised visits. he refused the supervisors I proposed, so the court suggested the family centre which my ex accepted. We have both complied and applied to the family centre. The wait time is 8 months. He knew what the wait time would be. Now he is harassing me with emails demanding to see our daughter without the family centre, and makes excuses that he will be at my neighbours house doing handyman work, at which time he wants access to our daughter. He intercepted my daughter (10 year old) on my lawn when she was coming home supervised by my mom from school. My ex disregarded my mom's presence and told my daughter that she doesn't have to go inside right away. After a moment my mom instructed my daughter to proceed inside the house and she told my ex that now is not a time for the visit. He sent me an email accusing me of manipulating our daughter. My daughter was upset by his presence. He now states that she was upset because my mom and I are manipulating her. These are all lies he writes in emails and then his lawyer presents in court. This happened during the case conference but the judge did not buy that. She listened to my concerns and those of my 17 year old son who severed his relationship with his father for past abuse and manipulation. What options do I have? Do I wait for the settlement conference to address this harassment and stalking? He was stalking my mom and my daughter for a whole week while he was doing handyman jobs at the neighbours house (for a low price hence she keeps hiring him). He also accused us of abusing our dog, saying that no one walks him, to which clearly my neighbours can testify and refute. He does this to upset my mom and I. Do I wait for the settlement conference or should I bring in a motion? What kind? What remedy can I seek from the court to stop this ongoing harassment?
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  #20  
Old 11-04-2019, 12:26 PM
EspoirN EspoirN is offline
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Default How can stalking by ex be addressed by the court?

I am past the case conference. I am the moving party and have to schedule a settlement conference. Meanwhile, my ex is waiting for the family centre so he can have supervised visits as was ordered by the Court at the case conference. He is harassing me with e-mails and using his handyman jobs he is doing at one of my neighbours to intercept my daughter (10year old) on my property. He has been stalking me, and my mom who supervises my daughter after school for 6 days now. What options do I have? The situation is upsetting my daughter, who does not want to see him unsupervised, it is upsetting me and my family.
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