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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1  
Old 05-18-2019, 05:38 AM
SpiritWithAhatchet SpiritWithAhatchet is offline
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Default The rights of school principal

Having this school location battle, my ex went to registered our kid in her school zone. After that the principal (of current school) locked us on school zone so I cannot change it. He did it because she went first to him to do the registration.


I called the school board and they pulled the child out of her school and made it so called "999" where neither of us can register him without a legal paper (including mediation). Since people from mediation services never called back, the principal is playing a judge and doesn't want to release the child to designated school which is still in my area but different school.


Does anyone know how much power a principal has over where to register a child? He is lying that he gets orders from school board but they say otherwise even though they don't like to get involved much. The principal is on my ex's side.
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  #2  
Old 05-18-2019, 09:28 AM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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you do not give enough information about the background for anyone to offer advice.

who has custody
who has decision making for education
are you in the court process or are you even in the court process
where did the child go to school before
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  #3  
Old 05-18-2019, 06:55 PM
SpiritWithAhatchet SpiritWithAhatchet is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
you do not give enough information about the background for anyone to offer advice.

who has custody
who has decision making for education
are you in the court process or are you even in the court process
where did the child go to school before

Custody is shared both 50/50. Legal and physical. She filed something and is holding it back for some reason so nothing is in the court processing.



The child went to elementary school closer to my home. Now he wants to go to JH in the same area because of his friends. But his mom is certain he must change location. Maybe because the principal told her not to worry.
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Old 05-19-2019, 04:00 AM
tilt tilt is offline
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The child may be telling you they want to go to your choice of JH, and telling mom they want to go to her choice.

If your current choice of mediator is not responding than book an appointment with another mediator. In my area school boards have a trustee who can help navigate conversations with Principals (Iím not sure if this is true in your jurisdiction as we donít have JH around here). Perhaps the principal of the school you want can help as well, especially if most students in the current school stream to that specific JH. If she has not started something in the courts, then perhaps you should file as the court process is slow, unless your separation agreement says otherwise.
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Old 05-20-2019, 08:24 PM
SpiritWithAhatchet SpiritWithAhatchet is offline
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The child is telling both of us what we like to hear. The difference is he says it to her out of fear. She did serve me with an affidavit then put it to hold due to mediation that never happened. We haven't been to court.


I cannot afford a lawyer and she gets legal aid. I have to self rep but very difficult with my anxiety, public speech phobia and English.
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Old 05-21-2019, 12:13 PM
dad2bandm dad2bandm is offline
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I can't decipher the situation, as your posts are not clear.


So your child is currently in one school, and your ex and principal, switched her school, now, in May, near the end of the school year?


Or you're meaning the school switch will happen, once the new school year starts (Sep. 2019)?


It would make no sense to switch schools now. I find it hard to believe that any school change has happened yet.


Your child does not need to be registered at a new school yet, until even the first day when the new school year starts, and a principal and the school board would likely state the same.


Has your child actually switched schools then?
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Old 05-21-2019, 12:21 PM
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Janus Janus is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SpiritWithAhatchet View Post
The principal is on my ex's side.
Ice, just wanted to point out that you usually seem to feel like the world is against you. I suspect that, instead, your communication to the principal was very unclear.

I would make requests in writing, and have somebody edit those requests. Principals will usually respond to written messages.

That said, with regards to your questions, principals have lots of power, so don't upset one unnecessarily.
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Old 05-21-2019, 03:12 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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is this really such a big deal? How far away are the two schools?

what are the academics like? Is one school superior? if so- why not just send the kid there. He's in middle school- his wants, while important- aren't really *that* important.

what I'm really trying to ask is: Is this really a pissing match with the other parent?

Last edited by iona6656; 05-21-2019 at 03:15 PM.
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Old 05-21-2019, 08:47 PM
SpiritWithAhatchet SpiritWithAhatchet is offline
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Dad2 bandm. I am talking about going from elementary to JH in September. It is all about next grade. Registration period was between April 15 and May 15. There was an option to do registration online. However the principal locked me out. My ex went to school and registered the kid in her school zone. My complaint to the school board was successful. Its just we are now stuck.


Janus . Principal told me that all he does is what his supervisor from school board tell him to do. But when I spoke to his supervisor she said that simply isn't true. Also I believe he blackmailed me when he said all the family law judges are his friends and made it clear that he can have an effect on a judges decision.



Regardless, I am not trying to get on his or anybodies bad side but now he wouldn't even register the child to his designated school area which is neither school that parents like. He said he will keep it this way to September and even longer if he has to. If I write to him he will probably ignore it. I had 2 meetings with him already. BTW he wants to see us on the 29th if mediation fails. He wants to question the kid too. Seems like I have to go to court and make fun of myself without a lawyer but I see no other option...or let her win.


Iona . The schools are the same. I will tell you why it is such a big deal. For one, the child wants to go to school A because of his friends. Mom wants school B because it is too far for her to drive every day to and from. She had hard time with it. She had her sisters, brother, bf and friends help her. But IDK why is it too hard when she is on welfare. I prefer either school A or C because they are both closer to me but if I could choose it would be the school of child's choice. I have to be at work at 7:30am and if my ex gets the school she wants, it can jeopardize custody as well.
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Old 05-21-2019, 09:26 PM
Selfrepmom Selfrepmom is online now
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What I am deciphering from this:

-You and ex have a status quo of joint custody and 50/50 access. This is good. How long has this schedule been in place/how long have you and ex been separated?

- You do not have any sort of formal separation/custody agreement in writing, whether it is an order through court or amicably signed with lawyers. This is not good.

-You kid is moving from elementary into JH in the fall. This transition means a change of schools no matter what.

-You and your ex live in different school zones. Ex wants kid to transition into her zone, you want kid in your zone.

- It seems the underlying issue is that neither of you want to travel to the other parentís school zone if the child goes there. You claim she is on welfare and therefore has all the free time in the world. She probably claims that you have a job (aka disposable income) to be able to spend money on gas driving kid to school, where she does not

Solution:

I donít know what your access schedule is like but why donít you tell her that if kid goes in your zone you will either:

A) come pick up/drop off child to her on some of her days so she doesnít have to do so much driving

OR

B) Offer her some extra money every month to cover her travel costs to take the kid to and from school

I have a feeling option B may be your winning ticket, cause ya know, money talks. And if you are going to get the privilege of having the kid go to school in your zone, then you are going to have to sweeten the deal with something. If she doesnít agree to either option or some slight variation, give her the opposite offer (her school zone, but she pays/drives)

Then, hurry up and get a detailed custody/access order signed. Like yesterday.
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