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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #41  
Old 03-31-2018, 12:17 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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I love how these poor unfortunate men who are bled dry want their ex to take responsibility meanwhile they refuse to do so themselves.

You contributed to the decision. You let it continue. Coming here bemoaning the situation just demonstrates your weakness and lack of responsibility.

This is the first thing I say to my partner when he complains. You chose her. You had children with her. You stayed with her. You didnít fight harder for what was rightfully yours. You believed her when she said she would be reasonable. All of this bs is now on you. We work together to fight for what is right but I refuse to listen to any sob story from him.
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  #42  
Old 03-31-2018, 12:28 PM
Berner_Faith Berner_Faith is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by piggybanktoex View Post
Typical Payees.....you "let her stay home".....you "picked her"......even though you can not force a wife/partner to work....after the tears of "I can't leave my baby in daycare"......who still doesn't return to work after kids in school.



Only solution would be divorce which what causes the money problem in the first place.



My ex couldn't work, but managed weekly trips to BF, and another failed marriage. Now collects cats and WORKS. No change in what I pay her.



I was very successful and that almost cost me everything. My survival had nothing to do with Family Law.



Grownups should be taking care of themselves. Paying her "share" with money she gets in SS and CS is not paying her share.



My divorce isn't final to me until I finish payments at the end of the next decade. MGTOW.....marriage was the stupidest thing I ever did.


You could have divorced years ago and only be on the hook for CS and not S.S... you staying and now having to pay SS is YOUR fault not the systems fault. It took two for her to stay home, her for wanting it and you for allowing it/staying. So man up and take your part of the responsibility. Or are you complaining about supporting your children as well? I sure hope not.


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  #43  
Old 03-31-2018, 01:22 PM
piggybanktoex piggybanktoex is offline
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My children were/are very well care for financially thanks to me. All grown up now with very good father/child relationships. 50/50 when kids. And I paid for all the braces.

Once her future was set due to minimum of $150+K/year from me (she never faced poverty or the street) and the paid off house, she continued to try for everything else, regardless that it would ruin me. Too entitled to see that if I was ruined, there would be no money for anyone in our fractured family.

And yes, it was her fault to chose to try and take everything (which was actual possible in my case). She didn't earn any of it, but she felt entitled to it all.

Because she could and that was simply not fair. Thankfully she failed, and had/has to somehow limp thru life with the above minimum. I don't know how she does it.......oh, actually I do, she lives off of me, regardless of divorce.

So when you make blanket statements about the "good of the child/ren", step-up as a man, take responsibility, etc, be aware that not all women take on their share.....and these are the women that make payer's (men mostly) so bloody angry. In some cases, it becomes a very one way street. That may not reflect your story, but it is a reality for many men. And yes, there are "real deadbeat" dads out there as well.

Enough said for me on this subject. It is my viewpoint, which I'm entitled to, as you are to yours.
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  #44  
Old 03-31-2018, 02:40 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by piggybanktoex View Post
She didn't earn any of it, but she felt entitled to it all.

Ah yes. Not entitled. Funny how this is the line they all use. Obviously she WAS entitled as she did SOMETHING.

Again, take some responsibility.
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  #45  
Old 04-07-2018, 01:21 PM
kcurtis72 kcurtis72 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Newfie76 View Post
So first of all his new spouse is not responsible for paying for your child's teeth or anything for that matter. Unless there is an arrangement to do so.

Second - If he makes $105/year and you are covering 32%...it sounds like you are taking in about the $30-35K bracket. You don't mention spousal support but I assume you do take that along with child support. With all numbers, calculated approx of course, you both should be netting about $55-60/year. In short you BOTH take in the same amount of money..... I know because those numbers are similar to me. My ex only need pay 29% of costs....but yet we net the same. hmmmm? I smell some Kim Cambell....

Now you can force him through court to pay....which will take more money from the kids...because he has to pay a lawyer, and money does not grow on trees. Di you know his current debt load? Did you take it to him in court? Crush him like most women?

My kids come first....I have no savings....I barely cover expenses...and have a 3 bed 1100 sq home. If my daughter or son needs braces...the answer is no. Unless I dip into their RESP fund.....and that is not right. Bottom line is you have no idea about your exs financial situation. How much did he lose in the separation? What is his current debt load?


Sounds like his spouse is paying for the entire thing....no way he can cover that with the "debt bondage" he has to pay you.... His work pays him $105K/yr but you know he does not keep that.... the law says he is indebted to you and he must pay you.


Does not sound like he is blocking anyone. If he said, "I have the money and no I will not pay." Then yes, he is blocking. Is he saying this?

Sounds to me like he has not the money. I would need to know more about his financial debt, outside of your own legal "debt bondage" you have on him.

Just an idea....maybe you could take the same schooling your ex has and earn the same pay as he. That 3-5 years....your daughter will still be young and you would eliminate the debt bondage for your ex to properly spend money on your kids, save for the future of your kids and maybe even have a better relationship with you.

End the debt bondage first.
Wow. You assume I know nothing about his financial status but do a lot of assuming of your own about both his and mine. I'm sorry if you got the wrong end of the stick in your divorce, but not every woman is like your ex. Allow me to fill you in on some of the details.

I do know his financial status. As I mentioned, we just finished an almost 3 year court ordeal and financial statements were exchanged on a regular basis.

When we divorced, we were $40k in debt. He was out of work for a year and my credit was good so all but $2000 was in my name, so I walked away with $38k of debt on what was, at the time a $25k/year income. He had $2000 on a $95k income. I had to move into a 1000 sq. foot 3 bedroom townhouse while he moved into a $550k house. He travels out of the country on vacations 5-6 times a year, once per year on a cruise, I haven't had a vacation in almost 8 years. He got a brand new SUV while I still drive the same van we had when we split that's coming up to 300,000km. His spouse makes a good living, but by no means is she bankrolling him while he supports any kind of lavish lifestyle of mine. I don't hold any kind of "debt bondage" over him. On the contrary, he tends to withhold money from me any and every chance he gets, including refusing to reimburse me for medical expenses that I pay and his insurance pays him for.

He has not one but 2 vacation properties in Florida that he has purchased since our divorce, and just purchased an engagement ring that probably costs double what our daughter's braces are projected to cost.

As for the schooling, I supported him for 3 years while he attained the designation to help him make the salary he is currently enjoying. We decided as a couple that I would stay home with the kids so I didn't end up finishing my post-secondary education. Then, at 40 after being a stay at home mom for over 10 years, I was thrust back into the workplace with absolutely no warning. I currently average 44-55 hours per week and, with the debt I got am just making ends meet. I'm not sure when you think I would have the time, never mind the money to pursue the education I would need to make more than I currently do.

Like I say, I'm sorry that you feel that you got screwed in court, but men are not exclusive to that. Any more than women are the only ones who do the screwing. Yes, I take him to court when I have to, but only because he leaves me with no choice. Last time he refused to pay tabled support or his share of section 7 expenses, this time it's our child's braces and orthotics. It doesn't give me a thrill to fight with him, it makes me sick. Physically sick. My blood pressure has gone through the roof and I get migraines on a regular basis due to the stress.

As for my relationship with my kids, it's amazing.

I am ending the debt bondage. My own.
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