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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 11-18-2020, 02:17 PM
Human Way Human Way is offline
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Default Post Secondary Questions

Hi Everyone.


Thanks for all the good info this board. I have read the pinned info on Post Secondary financial issues. Thanks to the posters for all the hard work with that thread.




I have a kid in grade 12 and going off to Uni. I pay the table CS each month. We were never married and went through a family mediator to create an separation agreement. The post secondary info is vague as it was created 15 years ago. We have never updated it.


Here is what i gather, if my kid stays at home while in University I still have to pay CS. Question: Do I have to pay table amount or some reduce amount? How is this figured out?


For the Post secondary amount, I am going to ask for the 1/3 payment schedule. EX and I will split the net cost of the standard items attached to going to school. I can use the RESP I created to pay for my share of the expenses. Question: If there is nothing in our separation agreement, how do I get ex to agree to the 1/3 1/3 1/3 payment model? What if she refuses, what recourse do I have?



How do I ask about finding out how much tax they get back to find out the true NET cost of school? This seems like a tricky question for me to broach? Any suggestions?




I gather the rules are CS stops after the first degree is obtained. For example if it a College 2 year degree CS would stop? And if it was a four year University degree then CS would stop? When does the age of 22 come into play?


I am trying to get my facts straight before meeting with ex. We don't have any of this in writing. I wonder if I should try to get this in writing up front? Talking about money always ends poorly with us.



But getting lawyers involved cost three times as much so we are going to need to do this on our own.


Any other advice or suggestions are appreciated.


I am grateful the my kid is about to go to school. I am grateful for this board.


Thanks,


HW
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  #2  
Old 11-18-2020, 03:18 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Human Way View Post
Question: Do I have to pay table amount or some reduce amount? How is this figured out?
Yes you pay full table. If your child went away you would pay four months of support averaged over the year for the months they are home in the summer. The reason being that you would be required to contribute to living expenses while they live away.

To answer why it is calculated like thisyour child is still considered a child of the relationship and requires support. Therefore the full table amount is applied.


Quote:
Question: If there is nothing in our separation agreement, how do I get ex to agree to the 1/3 1/3 1/3 payment model? What if she refuses, what recourse do I have?
This is a little trickier. If you have a significant difference in income with the higher falling on you, she can argue for the proportionate share split and she is entitled to do that. However, if her income is low then your child will be entitled to grants through OSAP is in Ontario which balances it out. Plus because the child is staying home the costs are significantly cheaper. You should look at the costs involved. Tuition, books and transportation costs if required. Once you subtract the grants the number gets reduced. Your child is responsible for 1/3 then you split the rest. Open some discussions about it. Talk to your kid. That would be a great start.


Quote:
How do I ask about finding out how much tax they get back to find out the true NET cost of school? This seems like a tricky question for me to broach? Any suggestions?
You dont need to ask. You can do a dummy return on one of the online tax programs or see if anyone here can help with mysupport calculator. You could also pay a lawyer for an hour to calculate it and write a letter. Thats what my husband did annually. I can tell you it isnt significant so dont think its a windfall.

Quote:
I gather the rules are CS stops after the first degree is obtained. For example if it a College 2 year degree CS would stop? And if it was a four year University degree then CS would stop? When does the age of 22 come into play?
The age 22 is really a misnomer and I dont understand why they keep it in. If your child is 18 and completes their studies by age 21 then cs stops. Same as if your child turns 19 before going to university and takes a four year degree.

Quote:
I am trying to get my facts straight before meeting with ex. We don't have any of this in writing. I wonder if I should try to get this in writing up front? Talking about money always ends poorly with us.
If your ex is unreasonable nothing you say matters. Your best bet would be to sit down with your ex AND your child and go over their education plans and how it all will be paid for. If your ex puts up a fight then its pointless to continue trying.

You could also remind her that if you were still together you would be working with your child as a unit rather than separately.


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  #3  
Old 11-20-2020, 01:53 PM
Human Way Human Way is offline
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Rockscan......you are a rock star!


thanks for taking the time to answer mine and everyone else's questions. Your dedication to this board is appreciated.



I really do like your advice of talking to my kid. That is the key to this whole thing....real relationships, not angry, lawyers and the fine print. The three of us (mom, dad, kid) have been doing this for a long time now. Its not easy and there are hiccups, but for the most part communication works.



That being said, I believe all parties involved need to be informed. No one wants to be duped and due diligence is necessary.



For people like us (and many others) that went the family mediator route, sometimes there are holes in the plan. Kids grow up and different financial responsibilities arise.



I have booked marked your response and will lean the advice.


thanks


HW
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Old 11-20-2020, 03:24 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Human Way View Post
Rockscan......you are a rock star!


thanks for taking the time to answer mine and everyone else's questions. Your dedication to this board is appreciated.



I really do like your advice of talking to my kid. That is the key to this whole thing....real relationships, not angry, lawyers and the fine print. The three of us (mom, dad, kid) have been doing this for a long time now. Its not easy and there are hiccups, but for the most part communication works.



That being said, I believe all parties involved need to be informed. No one wants to be duped and due diligence is necessary.



For people like us (and many others) that went the family mediator route, sometimes there are holes in the plan. Kids grow up and different financial responsibilities arise.



I have booked marked your response and will lean the advice.


thanks


HW

My husband went through the ringer on post secondary expenses so I have that experience to lean on.

I cannot stress enough how important it is to talk to your kids BEFORE they even apply to school. So many kids have been coddled and babied by their parents and they dont know the difficulties or challenges they face with their next steps. University costs $7,000 to $15,000 a year AT LEAST. Parents cant shoulder that burden. My husbands kids felt they shouldnt have to pay for anything and his ex kept saying he should sell his house to prevent kid from paying. Getting on top of it and working together is the best approach.


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