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OCL with Teens - Refusal Post-Completion of Report

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  • #16
    Originally posted by rockscan View Post
    And this is probably the case which is why I said there is nothing you can do if they are intent on court.

    If the OP is leaving it as kid doesn�t want to go so I don�t force it. The judge may say work harder. If he says I set time weekly where I make sure they call or I make sure they spend their time with her weekly or I set them up to see her etc. That�s more than enough.
    I literally have tried everything. I can’t foster a relationship with kids that won’t call, see the other parent and refuse to call. Her actions have alienated herself from them yet they claim the opposite.

    @rockscan’s sentiments are correct -if they are determined to force it to trial, they will. I have no control and unfortunately, the system doesn’t seem to have enough teeth to put the brakes on these individuals taking advantage of the system.

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    • #17
      Nope and that is what is sad for the people who actually need the court for non payment of support, kidnapping their kids, denying access or refusing to allow care or education needs. Sadly family court needs a major overhaul but it isn’t likely to happen.

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      • #18
        Originally posted by StillPaying View Post
        Your kids are still way too young and would be expected to comply with the orders you have. You mention abuse and pressure, and that they decided to stop access at various times.
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        But unless I got my access back, I wouldn't stop until trial either.
        In this case it seems pretty clear the oldest does not want to go.
        They are in their mid teens to that makes them 16.

        Once they hit 12 the chances of a judge issuing an order start to diminish, by 14/15 it will be rare and 16 even rarer because there is not point. It will cost a ton of money and circumstances that do not seem to exist here for a judge interfere.

        I know a kid as young as 10 who told their parent to screw off. That parent was a good parent, went to trial, got a favorable ruling, is out of pocket 55K even after cost awards and still do not see their kids. Cops won't enforce it either.

        My experience is limited but I think that plan of going to trial is nuts. There are better ways that are not forceful. Sometimes there is no way.

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        • #19
          Originally posted by pinkHouses View Post
          In this case it seems pretty clear the oldest does not want to go.
          They are in their mid teens to that makes them 16.

          Once they hit 12 the chances of a judge issuing an order start to diminish, by 14/15 it will be rare and 16 even rarer because there is not point. It will cost a ton of money and circumstances that do not seem to exist here for a judge interfere.

          I know a kid as young as 10 who told their parent to screw off. That parent was a good parent, went to trial, got a favorable ruling, is out of pocket 55K even after cost awards and still do not see their kids. Cops won't enforce it either.

          My experience is limited but I think that plan of going to trial is nuts. There are better ways that are not forceful. Sometimes there is no way.

          Again, not as black and white. Judges will try to determine why a child does not have a relationship with a parent and how to remedy the situation. Even in my husband’s case with two 20 something kids, the judge gave the ex the gears about her arguments that the kids didn’t want to see him because he was “abusive”. He even called her out on an affidavit she submitted from one of them. Insisting she do something to fix it. Sure there may be a handful (if that) cases you could find online but many cases aren’t posted and many settle before trial. So you can’t say it’s a sure thing.

          OP’s ex seems like the kind of person who sees no wrong and fails to take responsibility. It’s probably also a case of “fine you want to take my kids I will bankrupt us both as punishment”. In these cases it’s best to send a reasonable offer. Put your lawyer on a leash and hope the judge can reason with the other party at the TMC. If not, hope for a costs award to alleviate the pain.

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          • #20
            Originally posted by pinkHouses View Post
            Once they hit 12 the chances of a judge issuing an order start to diminish, by 14/15 it will be rare and 16 even rarer because there is not point. It will cost a ton of money and circumstances that do not seem to exist here for a judge interfere.
            Don't fall for fabricated stories. Court has full control while they're still a "child". It's the parent that'll feel the wrath.

            Trial can take 2 years plus, so by 16 it's less likely to start court action where the child will be an adult by trial. However in this case, they are already before the court and completed the OCL investigation. Trial is soon and will have no problem making orders for a possible 14 and 16 year old.

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            • #21
              @StillPaying - trial is soon? I'm not sure where you are inferring this information from but this is not factually correct regarding my situation. Are you also aware that most courts are booking trials almost 2 years out at present? Your tonality in your posts and assuming doesn't help much here.

              @Rockscan - the ex already has significant court costs levied against them that they have not paid from the first trial from years ago including no payment of C/S as well. I can't even begin to imagine how a Judge could/would/should allow a matter to move forward before the issues of costs being handled first. At least, I would hope that would be the case. The reality is, our case is only being considered as they ex is using issues that are hot button issues in society right now to try and justify why the kids won't see them while trying to not address the blatant abuse/issues and the fact that their actions have landed us here. You can be as peaceful, child focused and helpful as you possibly can be - if the other party is deadset on revenge or the like, nothing can sway them.

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              • #22
                Originally posted by vocalfather View Post
                You can be as peaceful, child focused and helpful as you possibly can be - if the other party is deadset on revenge or the like, nothing can sway them.
                Hence my comment that she will bankrupt herself to punish you rather than face facts. Or she is delusional thinking the court will side with her.

                Like I also said, make an offer and tell your lawyer to ignore unless you direct them to do something.

                Comment

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