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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 10-07-2021, 10:38 AM
LongTimeRunning LongTimeRunning is offline
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Default Lawyer Recommendations October 2021 Ottawa

Hi everyone. I'm new to all of this and just had my heart ripped out by my wife when she admitted to an affair with my bother-in-law (she claims she was manipulated and has ended all contact with him - but I distrust her completely). I am totally destroyed but need to protect myself as my brother-in-law is a master manipulator that is being investigated by the police and I fear my wife may be just as bad and may be involved in his suspected criminal situation. I have two kids, 12 and 14 that I also need to protect at all costs.

I would greatly appreciate recommendations for a lawyer as I don't know many people who have divorced. I'm willing to pay more to keep my family safe. Thank you for whatever you can recommend.
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  #2  
Old 10-07-2021, 10:41 AM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Do a search of this forum. There have been a few recommended.
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Old 10-07-2021, 10:44 AM
Brampton33 Brampton33 is offline
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Although less relevant during COVID as court appears to be virtual, you may wish to consider someone local. If you are in Sudbury, it may not make sense to have a lawyer practicing in Windsor.

Lawyers know the judges in your district and their tendencies. Also, a good and reputable lawyer may have extra repute with the judge; and vice-versa for a non-reputable lawyer.
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Old 10-07-2021, 12:10 PM
pinkHouses pinkHouses is offline
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So far I do not like the replies you received as they were a bit incomplete. Brampton33 had good advice though.

1) The part about protecting yourself from your brother-in-laws criminal stuff needs some explaining.

2) Is your wife the sort to go along with the divorce? If so a good collaborative lawyer is what you need and your wife will need hers.

3) How do you want to do this: adversarial?

4) Do you need a lawyer or do you need advice to do your own legal work?

Best case: you write what you want down:
-Access
-What happens with the house and other major assets.
-custody
-holidays
-tax claims
-Do either you or your ex work at the moment? If you both do great, if not then you will want to write down your expectations.
-How will you exchange the kids
-spousal support with termination date

write up your offer and bring that to your lawyer to make the wording right. You may never see a judge.

Maybe you only want a separation agreement then later file for divorce.

Don't tell your ex just yet but certainly talk to a lawyer before you tell her and have your paperwork ready. Lawyer tend to stir it up telling you things like this is how we do it...make ridiculous demands and settle for less OR "you can get more" Go for half is usually the right move.


Getting in front of a lawyer as your first step may be disastrous.
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Old 10-07-2021, 03:40 PM
LongTimeRunning LongTimeRunning is offline
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That's good feedback mostly. I did search the website but didn't find any real recommendations. I will try again.

I am open to a collaborative approach but it depends on how deep this situation goes on the criminal stuff. If I find out that she facilitated or is an accessory to anything, I won't collaborate but will litigate.

We both work and can take care of ourselves. She appears remorseful and apologizes often while crying her eyes out, but she had lied so much I don't know what is real anymore.

I will look at the virtual option for a lawyer, I didn't think about the judges knowing the lawyers, etc. Thanks so far!
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Old 10-07-2021, 04:30 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LongTimeRunning View Post
I am open to a collaborative approach but it depends on how deep this situation goes on the criminal stuff. If I find out that she facilitated or is an accessory to anything, I won't collaborate but will litigate!
Divorce in Canada is no fault so if she is an accessory to anything it has nothing to do with your divorce and custody. The only concern would be if she was abusive to the kids and you didnt mention that.

I would suggest you do some reading on what your entitlements are and start with a local mediator. They can help you two bang out an agreement which can then be viewed by a lawyer. Involving a lawyer early and litigating will only result in a big bill at the end.

Things to consider include:

Custody, everyone recommends 50/50 where you share time with the kids. Support is based on that and shared so you have an amount that one of you will owe to the other.

Expenses, these include all the stuff the kids need or will need in the future. Including school expenses for university/college.

Spousal support may be considered depending on the length of marriage and what either of you gave up for the other persons career.

Assets will need to be divided.

Look into all of these things in this forum BEFORE you go to a lawyer. You may go in there angry and the lawyer will smell money. Truly if you want to just divorce her and she understands and accepts it, you can come to an agreement together and have it rubber stamped and go on your merry way.

LEAVE EMOTION OUT OF IT. Your ex made a huge mistake and will now pay with her marriage. Looking to stick it to her or hurt her or make her pay just means more money for lawyers.
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  #7  
Old 10-07-2021, 05:52 PM
StillPaying StillPaying is offline
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Custody = Decision Making
Parenting Time = Access and Support
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