Okay, this could get long. I'll try and keep it as short as possible.
I have 5 kids, custody of all 5, but 3 my ex has access to. Our youngest is not biologically his and he treats her like shit. She's a phenomenal dancer, auditioned for and made it to the A troupe but I opted to keep her in B troupe for finances and to balance her competitive dance and his access. My youngest daughter will begin competing in 2 years and one competitive costs $10,000 a year easily.
Anyway, he tells her she's an awful dancer, won't let her stretch or practice, punishes her for practicing her routines, and it was so bad that she considered quitting so he wouldn't hate her anymore. He doesn't pay anything towards her dance or come watch her. I pay it all. I made her finish the season telling her that her teammates depended on her, and that if after all her competitions were done, she wanted to quit, I would let her, but she had to finish the season. After her first competition she came running off the stage begging to stay in and saying she didn't care what he said. He has been fighting me in court for 3 years trying to get a court order banning her from dance, refused to bring her on his weekends and after a 3 day custody and access trial, I was awarded full custody and the judge court ordered that he has to give her over to me for dance regardless of his access.
November 3, all 5 of my kids were apprehended by Children's Services for parental conflict. They have since filed in court to give them back to me. Last week, he went to my daughter's dance studio claiming he now had custody and final say and pulled her from dance. Well the studio owner didn't believe him and contacted the worker who straightened everything out and she's still in dance and will still compete. Yesterday, at a visit, I asked my 9 year old son how hip hop was going only to be told that his dad and aunt (aunt has kinship right now) told him he's not allowed to go. None of them are allowed to go to hip hop, practice dance, stretch, or even be sad or talk about me. Instead, my ex apparently pulled them from hip hop and put them in Cadets instead.
Anyway, I've addressed this with the worker and should hear back soon.
I know 100% my kids are coming home by February.
That said,
I want to have my ex removed from my daughter's birth certificate and change her last name to mine. I know the process to do this. She has also begged not to see him anymore and asked to have my last name.
BUT in the off chance I ever lose my kids to CAS again due to parental conflict (I don't intend to but I'm fighting a narcissist), just so my kids don't end up in foster care, they need a backup legal guardian.
My younger two don't have another parent on their birth certificates. And if I remove my ex who is not biologically my daughter's father from her birth certificate, she will also need one.
Does anyone know the best way to go about this?
I don't think a will would work as that only applies if I'm deceased, and I'm not sure I could make someone legal guardian of my kids without losing custody. I thought about adding my best friend to my younger 3's birth certificate as their parent but I'm not sure if that would be legal or if we'd be heavily audited for it.
Advice?
I have 5 kids, custody of all 5, but 3 my ex has access to. Our youngest is not biologically his and he treats her like shit. She's a phenomenal dancer, auditioned for and made it to the A troupe but I opted to keep her in B troupe for finances and to balance her competitive dance and his access. My youngest daughter will begin competing in 2 years and one competitive costs $10,000 a year easily.
Anyway, he tells her she's an awful dancer, won't let her stretch or practice, punishes her for practicing her routines, and it was so bad that she considered quitting so he wouldn't hate her anymore. He doesn't pay anything towards her dance or come watch her. I pay it all. I made her finish the season telling her that her teammates depended on her, and that if after all her competitions were done, she wanted to quit, I would let her, but she had to finish the season. After her first competition she came running off the stage begging to stay in and saying she didn't care what he said. He has been fighting me in court for 3 years trying to get a court order banning her from dance, refused to bring her on his weekends and after a 3 day custody and access trial, I was awarded full custody and the judge court ordered that he has to give her over to me for dance regardless of his access.
November 3, all 5 of my kids were apprehended by Children's Services for parental conflict. They have since filed in court to give them back to me. Last week, he went to my daughter's dance studio claiming he now had custody and final say and pulled her from dance. Well the studio owner didn't believe him and contacted the worker who straightened everything out and she's still in dance and will still compete. Yesterday, at a visit, I asked my 9 year old son how hip hop was going only to be told that his dad and aunt (aunt has kinship right now) told him he's not allowed to go. None of them are allowed to go to hip hop, practice dance, stretch, or even be sad or talk about me. Instead, my ex apparently pulled them from hip hop and put them in Cadets instead.
Anyway, I've addressed this with the worker and should hear back soon.
I know 100% my kids are coming home by February.
That said,
I want to have my ex removed from my daughter's birth certificate and change her last name to mine. I know the process to do this. She has also begged not to see him anymore and asked to have my last name.
BUT in the off chance I ever lose my kids to CAS again due to parental conflict (I don't intend to but I'm fighting a narcissist), just so my kids don't end up in foster care, they need a backup legal guardian.
My younger two don't have another parent on their birth certificates. And if I remove my ex who is not biologically my daughter's father from her birth certificate, she will also need one.
Does anyone know the best way to go about this?
I don't think a will would work as that only applies if I'm deceased, and I'm not sure I could make someone legal guardian of my kids without losing custody. I thought about adding my best friend to my younger 3's birth certificate as their parent but I'm not sure if that would be legal or if we'd be heavily audited for it.
Advice?
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