Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

It's going to be a hot summer!!

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • If you would like to hear my ex's side I'd be happy to point it out on canlii after the trial. I can assure you that you'll see her side. If you would like to hear from my ex in the present moment I'm sorry .. I can't help ya.

    Comment


    • The fact that your counting my posts seems a bit obsessive .. and I mean that in the most polite way.

      Again .. I know my case better than you do. I promise. If you've actually followed my story you'd know that my case is very strong. I'm pretty sure I know what's going on here and so do you.
      That being said. I'm very confident in this case. If you're not .. you're entitled your opinion. Thanks for stopping by.

      Comment


      • I may not have rapidly initiated an EM on command the same day I found my family missing and ordered the cops to snatch my child from the mother at the shelter (seriously?)....all in the same day.. like you (hmm)

        But my entire case. ..if you've read it .. is about my growth. My posts reflect that.

        My focus in court is on this growth, stability, structure and family environment.
        Last edited by LovingFather32; 07-05-2015, 12:36 AM.

        Comment


        • I'm all for constructive criticism (as I am sure LF32 is) but I see no benefit in attacking the guy. For one thing reality is that it costs BIG MONEY for him in each and every step he has taken in court. In the past 14 months he has had to deal with:

          - abduction of child and ensuing nightmare of trying to find out where she was;
          - false allegations and having to go through intense drug/alcohol testing;
          - not seeing his child for months on end;
          - getting a lawyer with likely no money;
          - keeping 3 jobs
          - intense reading to get up-to-speed on family law - does anyone go into this with knowledge/experience?
          - changing jobs
          - likely moving at some point from the matrimonial home
          - having CAS/OCL people interrogate him and his family.

          and the list goes on.....

          No one should be criticized for doing the best that they can do. It just doesn't make sense.

          I also admire LF32's "confidence" as I'm a "half-full" sort of individual (as opposed to "half-empty").

          So hopefully we can continue to shoot some ideas here that LF32 can chew over and if there is a bit of advice that he can use then that's a very good thing.

          We have to remind ourselves how fortunate we are that LF32 has continued to share his nighmare with us. Thank you LF32.

          Oh, and by the way, I don't consider myself to be an "emotional user" rather someone who has survived a very lengthy string of litigation in family court. If people don't have any constructive advice then I think they should step back and carry on being spectators. We all have our personal views on what someone should have done or shouldn't have done. It makes little sense to play the "blame game." We are supposed to be here to help each other walk through the legal quagmire.
          Last edited by arabian; 07-05-2015, 01:13 AM. Reason: Another thought

          Comment


          • Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
            Yes .. actually I have.. if you've been paying attention.
            I got jurisdiction right off the bat (No QC ). Then I got nearly 50 percent access.. (unsupervised). You think ex wanted that?
            Yes, as a matter of fact, I do believe that your ex feels like the majority winner.

            She wanted to leave without your knowledge and planned it, under your very nose, for months. You should have used that psychology and behaviour knowledge on her. She succeeded.

            She wanted to keep your daughter from you to punish you. She succeeded for months.

            You went to court to try to get access to your daughter. She managed to have you agree, in court, to supervised access. Win for Mom.

            I do believe that your ex was informed at some point by her crew of advisers that you would get some sort of access eventually. Even convicted criminals get access to their children. I think her goal was to minimize your involvement, not go for the elusive sole custody.

            Supervised access continued until you were forced to court again. You still didn't end up with 50/50. No problem for ex. No work. No imputed income. No requirements except a few extra hours to go out without the need for a babysitter. More trips to MTL! Yay.

            OCL? Win for Mom. CAS? Not so much but no detriment either.

            Your Child Support is reduced to reflect your income? Fair and the law. No win here. Simple math. She wouldn't have seen that money anyway as it would have been deducted from her welfare.

            J/K is delayed until trial? Win for Mom.

            No real increase in access for you for the summer? Hmmmm.....

            I believe it is what Mr. Toronto has said all along, throw everything at you and see what sticks. But additionally, I think her strategy has been very strong. Ask for everything but expect less.

            You have said your ex is a PARALEGAL. She is obviously intelligent enough to work out the above. I am sure she must have realized that cutting you out of your daughter's life was nearly impossible. She has come as close as she could to that goal.

            You keep saying she will learn that her actions are bad. Ultimately I don't think the court will care.

            I think you need to let go of the need to persecute her for being smarter/craftier than you and move on with your new wonderful "family life".
            Last edited by SadAndTired; 07-05-2015, 01:43 AM.

            Comment


            • I think he had little option to agree to supervised access. If he didn't agree to it he wouldn't have seen his daughter - by that time I believe he hadn't seen her for 4 months.

              People on welfare do indeed have their income imputed. I believe her day will come, particularly as she ain't no down-and-out, uneducated felon.

              J/K a win for Mom? How so? This does nothing to get her closer to her goal of moving out-of-province. I believe LF32 said that judge noted that she didn't even look into any schools/programs for D4. The fact the judge noted that, to me, is significant and shows mother isn't child-focussed.

              Strategy is a long-term one in which she hopes to disparage the father of her child at any cost. Her "victim" position has most certainly eroded into dust. Judge reiterated other judge's position that the JUST DON'T BELIEVE HER ALLEGATIONS.

              I believe LF32 is pretty darn close to 50/50 is he not? Starting at this position come time for trial is notable, considering where he was 14 months ago.

              Oh and I almost forgot - I believe the mother did indeed file for sole custody.

              Comment


              • Originally posted by arabian View Post
                I'm all for constructive criticism (as I am sure LF32 is) but I see no benefit in attacking the guy. For one thing reality is that it costs BIG MONEY for him in each and every step he has taken in court. In the past 14 months he has had to deal with:

                - abduction of child and ensuing nightmare of trying to find out where she was;
                - false allegations and having to go through intense drug/alcohol testing;
                - not seeing his child for months on end;
                - getting a lawyer with likely no money;
                - keeping 3 jobs
                - intense reading to get up-to-speed on family law - does anyone go into this with knowledge/experience?
                - changing jobs
                - likely moving at some point from the matrimonial home
                - having CAS/OCL people interrogate him and his family.

                and the list goes on.....

                No one should be criticized for doing the best that they can do. It just doesn't make sense.

                I also admire LF32's "confidence" as I'm a "half-full" sort of individual (as opposed to "half-empty").

                So hopefully we can continue to shoot some ideas here that LF32 can chew over and if there is a bit of advice that he can use then that's a very good thing.

                We have to remind ourselves how fortunate we are that LF32 has continued to share his nighmare with us. Thank you LF32.

                Oh, and by the way, I don't consider myself to be an "emotional user" rather someone who has survived a very lengthy string of litigation in family court. If people don't have any constructive advice then I think they should step back and carry on being spectators. We all have our personal views on what someone should have done or shouldn't have done. It makes little sense to play the "blame game." We are supposed to be here to help each other walk through the legal quagmire.
                I think that many here are reduced to being spectators because every time they do try to give advice to LF that is contradictory to what he believes or is difficult to hear, he attacks them.

                I think that everyone wants him to succeed, not everyone agrees how he should go about that.

                Comment


                • Well I hope everyone remembers this is a young father who doesn't have any money. He is up against a Government of Ontario-funded lawyer. Not a level playing field. Outrageous really.

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by arabian View Post
                    Well I hope everyone remembers this is a young father who doesn't have any money. He is up against a Government of Ontario-funded lawyer. Not a level playing field. Outrageous really.
                    Really? 33 is not young. Not young at all.

                    17 is young.

                    And how do you know he hasn't any money? If his income was as low as he said, he himself could have qualified for Legal Aid.

                    And before you ask, I qualified without any claim of abuse.

                    The fact that anyone on this forum sent him money is appalling to me.

                    Catfish

                    Personas. Pictures. Phone calls.

                    It is quite a widespread phenomenon when you research it. Fascinating really.

                    Comment


                    • When one wants to eradicate a problem I think it is important to figure out a way to cut off the problem's food-source. In this situation I see it as LF32's ex continuing to collect welfare as well as all the other nice little benefits that go along with this.

                      Anyone have any idea of the criteria one has to meet to collect welfare for a non-urgent matter, such as this one, where the recipient seems to be able to go about her days without employment? You would think that in this case that somewhere, somehow, the woman would be held accountable?

                      Comment


                      • Ah yeah 33 is indeed very young, at least to me (I'm 58).

                        How on earth did you get legal aid? Weren't you married to a doctor?

                        The fact that someone from this forum gave him money is wonderful. No different than people who raise money on the internet for worthy causes. Who are we to judge anyhow?

                        Wages in Ontario are dreadful. Having an extra "thou" a month to throw at a lawyer wouldn't be realistic for many folk.

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by arabian View Post
                          Ah yeah 33 is indeed very young, at least to me (I'm 58).

                          How on earth did you get legal aid? Weren't you married to a doctor?

                          The fact that someone from this forum gave him money is wonderful. No different than people who raise money on the internet for worthy causes. Who are we to judge anyhow?

                          Wages in Ontario are dreadful. Having an extra "thou" a month to throw at a lawyer wouldn't be realistic for many folk.
                          Yep. Was married to a physician, a specialist actually but he was in residency when we split. He made $70,000 that year.

                          He started court proceedings as we couldn't agree on a spousal support amount. Began to pay child support voluntarily. Because it was regarding custody/access and support of children, I qualified for legal aid. I made less than $22,000 that year. It was dreadful. Absolutely dreadful to try to raise two children on. I had been a stay at home mom for years and took the first full time job I was offered. I worked my way back into the work force and was the number one hire for the school board the year I was hired.

                          My ex makes considerably more now.

                          I am always quite proud to say that my LAO lawyer said I was the most prepared client he ever had. That compliment is entirely because of what I learned on this board.

                          Also, as an interesting aside, I was given a detailed accounting when my separation agreement went through and legal aid was done. Even with a case conference and trial management conference and a 36 page separation agreement, the lawyer only billed legal aid $2800.00 total. That's it.

                          Edited to add: I am 43. I do not think 33 is young. More than enough life experience to pull himself together.
                          Last edited by SadAndTired; 07-05-2015, 02:03 AM.

                          Comment


                          • Welfare isn't hard to get. And when there are children involved it's even easier. Once on welfare it makes legal aid so much easier to get and since they are fighting over a child legal aide is right there standing beside the ex.

                            When on welfare, if you have a child that is not in school you are exempt from all job search or educational requirements. So of course mom didn't want jk, she knows no one can force jk and she knows she gets an extra year to fight it out.

                            LF - was there anything ordered from your court date? Did I miss where you said that? I read about D4 not allowed to attend jk, but from what I have read, nothing else changed (other than lowering cs)

                            You may hate me for saying this but I truly think you need to stop focusing on what your ex is or isn't doing and just focus on your D4. Who cares that your ex isn't working, who cares so go to Quebec or whatever, who cares who she has standing in her corner. It shouldn't matter to you. Spend your time solidifying your relationship with D4 and how D4s roots are in your community.

                            Comment


                            • Well now here you are LF. Your ex played the system and will win more than she loses if you give up. I think if you go to trial you will see justice but it will have to be trial.

                              I also understand why some posters push you to focus away from speaking bout your ex. They write to focus on D4 and yourself, but you do, they must mean to do it even more.

                              I honestly could not see myself going through all of the paper work you have and if you hadn,t you would not even have a chance just now, and you do.
                              Damn shame you have to be the one to fight for what you are entitled to and asked to provide evidence and fight for your innocence and have to prove yourself and how your daughter is being used and abused and and your accusations are ignored.
                              How can you play the system now ?. How ? I played it well but I could of done much better if I had to do it again. If you self rept you could waste the systems time delay the courts and play the game and probably change the outcome to your advantage.

                              Your x told lies played the system use some of her ideas on the courts now. You think the courts are smart but their far removed from that and Judges are afraid to make decisions, hence the status quo.
                              LF if you run out of money and can't self rep its over. You must be at 20,000 by now.
                              If you can hang on I think you will make it.
                              Last edited by Franklin; 07-05-2015, 10:31 AM.

                              Comment


                              • Also I think it to be Damn shame the courts have to drag you to the end before they finally pay attention and respect to the hard earned evidence that has been provided to them as they demand this from you.

                                Comment

                                Our Divorce Forums
                                Forums dedicated to helping people all across Canada get through the separation and divorce process, with discussions about legal issues, parenting issues, financial issues and more.
                                Working...
                                X