I think straightohell and hammerdad have raised some very good points.
I have paused and thought back to all my friends who had "superbabydaddys" like my then-husband and they were few and far between. In fact, the friends who had the boozing, could-care-less baby daddys are now, to this day, still happily married with grand children of their own. Some guys just aren't into babies, particularly if they have never babysat or had any exposure to babies before.
On the other hand I know it can be very lonely to be at home alone with a baby. You want the storey-book situation where the baby-daddy is oohing over the baby and can't wait to spend every waking moment with you and the child. That is not reality.
Physical violence is unacceptable. Unwanted aggressive sex is unacceptable but there are excellent counselling services available to help couples get in touch with each other's boundaries and needs. Name calling is disrespectful but then so is denying a child access to the father.
I would suggest that divorcing mama take a good hard look at the people she surrounds herself with. Sometimes it is best to direct your marital problems to a counsellor rather than with your so-called friends who simply get off on creating more problems in your marriage. Examine this area of your life carefully. My good friends never once told me to leave my husband. Instead they were supportive of me as an individual and encouraged me to do what was best for me. Keep in mind that your friends do not walk in your shoes and they will likely not be around when you are alone raising that baby.
You owe it to your baby to be sure that you have done everything within your power to ensure that your marriage cannot be repaired. Once you enter into the courtroom stage it is extremely difficult (however not impossible) to go back. Ask yourself where you were in your relationship 12 months ago? There must have been something that you saw in value with the man who is now the father of your baby. He will always be in your son's life whether you are married or not. Are you positive that this is really what you want? To be alone raising this baby?
I have paused and thought back to all my friends who had "superbabydaddys" like my then-husband and they were few and far between. In fact, the friends who had the boozing, could-care-less baby daddys are now, to this day, still happily married with grand children of their own. Some guys just aren't into babies, particularly if they have never babysat or had any exposure to babies before.
On the other hand I know it can be very lonely to be at home alone with a baby. You want the storey-book situation where the baby-daddy is oohing over the baby and can't wait to spend every waking moment with you and the child. That is not reality.
Physical violence is unacceptable. Unwanted aggressive sex is unacceptable but there are excellent counselling services available to help couples get in touch with each other's boundaries and needs. Name calling is disrespectful but then so is denying a child access to the father.
I would suggest that divorcing mama take a good hard look at the people she surrounds herself with. Sometimes it is best to direct your marital problems to a counsellor rather than with your so-called friends who simply get off on creating more problems in your marriage. Examine this area of your life carefully. My good friends never once told me to leave my husband. Instead they were supportive of me as an individual and encouraged me to do what was best for me. Keep in mind that your friends do not walk in your shoes and they will likely not be around when you are alone raising that baby.
You owe it to your baby to be sure that you have done everything within your power to ensure that your marriage cannot be repaired. Once you enter into the courtroom stage it is extremely difficult (however not impossible) to go back. Ask yourself where you were in your relationship 12 months ago? There must have been something that you saw in value with the man who is now the father of your baby. He will always be in your son's life whether you are married or not. Are you positive that this is really what you want? To be alone raising this baby?
Comment