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  • #16
    It is in their seperation agreement that they are supposed to exchange T4's annually, she is hiding financial information though, not sure how she is doing it, her CRA assessment for 2008 shows a considerably less amount then her 2008 T4, and ConcernedDad has not been able to get her to submit her 2009 T4 as of yet. As far as getting an interim order, how do we go about this?, is it a pre-trial, hearing or do we have to file an "emergency motion" is the fact that there is a motion already in play going to inhibit this. We have asked the lawyer to file for an interim but he is not responding, anfd furthermore he is going to be going after her for costs becuase she is the one who wont agree. Affidavit eveidence was submitted at the start of this by filing a motion a year ago to date almost. Everything thats in the "continuing record" is evidence enough but the courts are simpky not budging"

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    • #17
      Still waiting for some response to my question.
      I told my ex that since I re-read the Order, it said Summer schedule to be week on week on with each parent. So, we're back to the screwed up complex 16 week schedule until a Trial date or when I can get my lawyer to move for me if it can be done.
      So, ready my last post and fill me in with some ideas I can use. I wanted my daughter to have a more stable and emotionally secure year in grade 3, it just gets harder and harder in school and they do not fail children until high school no matter how far behind you fall.

      Comment


      • #18
        For any issue involving child support or section 7 changes, both parties must submit their last 3 yrs taxes as well as a current financial statement. If it is in the order that you exchange and she is not, she is in contempt, and you can file with the courts to enforce that. (...they will have a form sent to CRA to release the information to you, typically)

        You can file an emergency motion, with grounds, and I think you have grounds for a child in grade 3. As long as there is sound reasoning behind the motion, it does not affect the one already waiting for its day in court. 100 kms is too far to travel for school...under perfect circumstances, that is over an hour each way...and there is NO WAY that is best for the child, when closer alternatives are available. However, if she is already registered and going to the school, you may find the court siding with mom that it best she stay with mom, and continue at the same school.

        One other thought on your lawyer...you can file a complaint with the Law Society of Upper Canada. All counsel are covered by the LSUC, and it is they who investigate complaints from clients regarding a lawyer's performance or conduct.

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        • #19
          Let me start out with the words "Roll Reversal"

          I feel the need to reiterate something.

          My ex moved 100km away from the habitual home. I live across the street from my children's schools (habitual home). She has to drive my daughter in to school (and got to the school this morning as the bell rang with her....on the first day!).

          My problem is exactly that. My son has plans of a fantastic year where he can get involved with school activities etc. because he chose not to go out to his mothers, he says he hates it there. My daughter is only 7 so she does not have the luxury of telling Mommy she wants to live with Daddy and only visit there on weekends and holidays.

          I have been the primary caregiver for both my children since birth. I attend every function I can make it too, their step mother and I both helped the grade eight graduation school decorations.

          I have a lawyer who is not helping me put my daughter in a more stable and emotionally secure environment. Driving back and forth every few days has made her hate "not getting enough time with each parent" and she loses friends because they cannot rely on her being around. She also cannot get involved with any programs because of the ping pong ball routine of the 100km distance. My lawyer and the Judge just has NOT made any ruling on this at all and it is slowing destroying my daughters life where my ex only cares about the "fight" and her winning it.

          I will go to court myself without my lawyer if I know exactly what to do, how to present it and so on. My concern is my daughter, who at 7, understands enough that she says she just cannot get her mom to understand that she wants to live with me.

          I also understand that it is not typical of a Father being more the caregiver and a better parent compared to the Mother. I do everything from working on cars to sewing new curtains for my child's bedroom window to building a new bedroom off the downstairs rec room. I grew up raising my nieces and am a natural at being the best I can for my children. But I need help right now because this has been going on for over 2 years....they are only children once and 2 years to a 7 year old is probably more equivalent to 6 years to an adult.

          Again, I thank anyone for any advice. ConcernedStepMom78 is more up on the legalese of things but we both need some help with what to do.

          Comment


          • #20
            Hi InterprovincialParents
            The school she is registered at is within walking distance from ConcernedDads house, his daughter's mother is the one thats an hour away from school, and his daughter has been attending this school since JK. He has been fighting this since her mother declared that she was moving away almost a year ago, if the mother were to "win" she would be able to enrol her in school where she lives,with her "conjugal partner" as she declared in court, in the house he rented to be closer to his daughters, or she would be driving her 100km daily. The last settlement conference the Judge stated to her that she has a lot of IF's in her life. But yes something has to be done about this, where are her rights as a child? Her mother refuses to move back or within closer proximity to her kids, she has already temporarily lost a healthy relationship with her 14 year old son, now she is sacrificing her daughters well-being.

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            • #21
              Then my answer would be yes, file an emergency motion to suspend the weekly access during the school year! Instead, look at extended access periods that work around the school year...ie Thanksgiving, PA days, full March Break, Easter, etc...

              Comment


              • #22
                Sorry I wanted to clarify some more things, the "original" motion filed almost a year ago was for the same things, custody/access in relation to her move 100km away from the children's "habitual residence" as well as getting an actual order for child supoort to remain as it was. It appears as long as they had a domestic contract with their signatures (ie their seperation agreement) the courts will uphold the child support amount they agreed upon within the agreement, however there was no clause in their seperation agreement about if one of them should move a reasonable distance.....other than if one party moves they would have to amicably agree upon a new schedule...hence why we are where we are. the original co-parenting schedule was a 16 week rotation based upon the childrens mother's work schedule, and it quite literally put the kids 2 days with him, 3 days with her, 3 days with him, 2 days with her....this is now the schedule thy are back to following per court order, this poor girl is a ping pong ball with no sense of home. The mother has now changed jobs and is on a different schedule, and wants to adjust their parenting schedule whenever it doesnt work for her. I could ramble on about the intricacies of ths but it is really complicated. Any further advice would be greatly appreciated.

                Comment


                • #23
                  InterprovincialParents, thank you so very much for all you have said.

                  I find it so hard as the "father" fighting on this side of things. It appears that everyone wants to automatically side with the "mother" but if one could see all the details it would be so clear. My ex is not horrible, she has some issues, but right now she is not thinking of the best interest of my children.

                  The hardest part for me is knowing exactly what to state and focus on in court. My ex can turn on the waterworks and everyone focuses on her, even when its just about her boyfriends broken foot and him being out of work, they all tell her its okay etc... but when I express my concern and factual information, the Judge seems to cock his head and sniff me off and states how we just do not agree and that is that. The truth is, yes we cannot agree, but a decision has to be made who's side is to be Ordered.

                  We separated in 2008, I moved out upon mutual agreement, and I moved 2 blocks away to stay close to my children and their life. I was in the opposite direction and never had to see my ex except to pick my children up or drop off, it was perfect. She moved 100km away to be with her boyfriend and figures its just like living up north and having a school bus ride to school 40 minutes....but the 40 minute drive on a bus was over about 25km not 100km.

                  She is 100km away from her daughter when in her care, who can do that and be okay, who can allow such a distance and say its okay? The dangers are only a part of it, as I said it is a case of peer groups and family, medical/dental, everything is in upset because of such a distance and wanting to make it a 50/50 split of time, it just doesn't work.

                  With help from those that have gone through it may help me speed up this process for my daughters sake.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    With just what I have read, knowing the jurisprudence on the matter, I am certain that the courts would agree...have you done any research to back it? If not, let me know and I'll email you a few links

                    My question now would be....why wasn't this dealt with sooner, so as to provide her with a balance and stability? And I would complain to the law society, as your lawyer knew your concerns regarding school, and chose the regular or fast track rather than urgent option...but that's just my 2 cents

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      My wife and I felt that if we could settle it would be easier than arguing the motion further. But she just does not want to settle unless it is by her own schedule. If I say one thing she simply says another out of spite.

                      I stood up on my own in the beginning arguing the Motion. I said that her being 100km away cannot work. I stated that it is dangerous to drive such a distance and in the winter over back roads etc. I stated family and friends are not able to coordinate for a relationship. So much was stated, but at that time she was the one with a lawyer and I was on my own. The Judge asked her lawyer if there was any problems staying with the 16 week schedule and her lawyer said NO, I said YES, my ex didn't say a thing (knowing it would not work either). The Judge said then stick with the same 16 week schedule and see if OCL will get involved and come back. We went back, no OCL would not get involved. The Judge said go and get Family Coordination Services involved, but neither of us could afford the cost, plus it would not help if she did not like the results the service came up with.

                      So, she is on her own (no lawyer), we are waiting for a Trial date, my lawyer hasn't done a single thing but be a legal presence for me. Originally the Judge told me not to bother trying this against my ex and her lawyer (at the time) alone, so my wife called everyone in the phone book until she found my lawyer (I make too much for legal aid). I did not know my ex was going to lose her lawyer. So, I have a lawyer who does nothing and she has no lawyer and the Judge doesn't want to make any Orders.

                      If I fire my lawyer I'll be stuck without one at all, owing him for doing nothing. If I stick with him, I have someone to be a legal person in my presence and if I win a trial he said she'll be paying for it all, not me. I'm just angry that it is in Court still.

                      From my understanding, this Judge doesn't like to make any decisions. I asked my lawyer once, why is none of the laws protecting my children, he said they are but since we do not agree on anything it has to go to Trial for those laws to help. A settlement won't help unless we can agree on something, that I understand. But I was arguing the Motion I started but with all the evidence and obvious facts nothing has been done.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Originally posted by ConcernedDad71 View Post
                        I find it so hard as the "father" fighting on this side of things. It appears that everyone wants to automatically side with the "mother" but if one could see all the details it would be so clear. My ex is not horrible, she has some issues, but right now she is not thinking of the best interest of my children.
                        She moved away. She choice her loins over her kids. She will pay the concequences for that. You already have your son. You will get your daughter too.

                        As for the lawyer not replying in timely manners, they all do this. Don't sweat it too much unless they are not responding to the issues when you have a court date pending. When you do get ahold of him, just ask him frankly about the delays. He may have a good reason to not reply all the time, such as saving you money. I had similar issues with my lawyer too. She told me that she is on top of things, and if she needs to talk with me she will call. I talk with the assistant and keep them up to date on things. Saves lots of money, and keeps me feeling happy.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          rwm1273, thank you. It has been a rough year (+). I went to fire my lawyer, handed secretary letter, he wasn't there. I was on my way to courthouse to get forms to release him of service, ran right into him. lol We went back to his office, he assured me that he understands how I feel and to talk to him this afternoon. I have some things I want in writing from him and some direct answers. He is doing me a favor and I know he knows his job very very well, I'm just not a top priority for him, but he will do what he can for my children. Its so hard, but knowing more of the laws because of this forum has helped considerably.....my humble sincere gratitude goes out to InterprovincialParents, someone who deserves thanks for being someone who deeply cares, you are never to be forgotten for your help.

                          This journey is so hard on my children and I know I am not perfect and their ears tend to hear, in my opinion, too much. I wish this process was easier and that there was a certain level of trust/honesty and concern for the best interest of the children from both sides. I spent 17 years married to someone who only had a severe anger problem among some others things but it just could not go any further after the "some other things" and was time to live...for me and my children.

                          Please help others as much as can be done. I'll post again if needed because this forum has been all I'd hoped it to be.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            I don't understand why you aren't standing in front of a judge right now. Your child is 7, she's at an age where learning is paramount and the shuttling back and forth (esp when she doesn't WANT to) is going to impact her ability to learn!

                            What time does she have to get up to do this drive?

                            The situation is very much in your favour, except for the fact that you aren't the mother. You've waited long enough, cooperation is not coming. What have you got to lose? You already have 1 child with you and it's not likely that the court will split them up or send your son to live with his mom when he very much prefers living with you.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Simply put, the Judge has not wished to deviate. He is keeping things the same until we either settle or trial.

                              In my initial Motion I said the complex 16 week schedule would not work, the distance is great, she gets tired in school among other things. I was then unrepresented. She retained legal services, her lawyer said the 16 week schedule is fine, the Judge asked my ex if there is a problem, she said nope. So, he said then stick to 16 week schedule and try Mediation.

                              Mediation could not work as she said she would not Mediate unless I agreed to her terms.

                              So, I retained, she lost her legal representation.

                              I tried to Settle hoping to end this quickly. She will not budge. I could say it is sunny outside and she would say no it is not. She will not agree.

                              My lawyer has been somewhat poking this with a stick. He assures me he has been doing this for 30 years and understands.

                              Mostly it is the Judge who has not helped. The other Family Court Justice is more pro-children but I only stood in front of her once, she made temporary interim for the children to stay with me, my ex to have every other weekend and a single mid week. The normal justice I get has reverted back to not wanting to do much in regard to my childrens interests. So, I'm slipping through the cracks in Court. Hopefully getting in to Trial sometime in November may help. It is just dealing with this until then.

                              My ex is contacting me every day to try and change this and that to suit her work. She just will NOT see that the distance is too great to continue this normal 50/50 shared care and the bouncing back and forth every couple days. My Son at 14 has made his choice, he doesn't even speak to her much, she has dissinvolved herself with him.

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Often judges do not want to make too many orders as they hope the parents will work things out. Problem is if the parents can't work things out, this inactivity of the judge does more problems in the long run, given how backed up the courts are.

                                As for the lawyer, it sounds like he does know what he is doing, and sometimes it is not in your best interest to go to court ranting and raving. Sometimes you got to give enough rope for the other side to hang themselves, unfortunately the rope is attached to your children, and this is hard to let happen.

                                Comment

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