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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 01-12-2011, 12:47 PM
Motorizer Motorizer is offline
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Default 50/50 Access

Hello, everyone.

Been on here a few times, and the help I received was great.
I mostly lurk now, but still keep checking back in every few days, as every bit of info is useful.

Anyways, I currently see my 7 month old son about 3-4 times a week, with the schedule being 2-3 midweek visits for approximately 3-4 hours apiece, with 8 hours on Saturday.
We were never married, and split before the child was born.
I have exercised regular access since birth.

I have been insistent that a parenting plan be put in place, allowing for a gradual increase of time, leading to 50% access by the time he is 2 or 3.

I have a stable job, home, and have all needed items at my home.

Momma says that 50/50 is bad for the kids, as a child needs a stable location.
I retort that stability does not depend on geographical location, but on having two involved parents.

We have agreed upon joint physical and joint legal custody, and I will be moving to her neighborhood by summer in order to facilitate access.
Child support, Section 7 expenses, and all financial matters are taken care of.

In fact, we seem to agree on almost everything but an access schedule.

So....
How many of you actually have 50/50 custody, and how do the kids react to it?
And if I do have to petition the court, what are my chances of obtaining 50/50?

Thanks.
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Old 01-12-2011, 01:17 PM
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NBDad NBDad is offline
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Active involved parent....everything else already taken care of....Hell dude, your WAY better off than most of us.

50-50 is a virtual guarantee. It's the legal defacto standard you are supposed to have at separation. Kids adjust faster than the parents do...proven fact.

For a child that young, the latest psycho babble says that the kid should go without seeing either parent for ~ 1 day /year of age, to "facilitate the parent-child bond" the best.

Personal experience, that's total horse pucky. The kid will adjust to virtually anything, so long as the schedule is kept STABLE.

Maybe do a 2/2/3 rotating split to start, or a 3/4 split and then start with week abouts once the child starts school. That way you'd ease them into longer and longer periods of time, winding up with week about at the end of it.
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Old 01-12-2011, 01:35 PM
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dadtotheend dadtotheend is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Motorizer View Post
Momma says that 50/50 is bad for the kids, as a child needs a stable location.
I retort that stability does not depend on geographical location, but on having two involved parents.[/COLOR]
Good for the two of you for being mature and sorting it out yourselves.

Without trying to incite conflict, would Mom agree to you being the primary caregiver?

I'm guessing that you are paying the table amount of CS. Is there any plan to use off the offset method when you get to 50/50? Or is that the real issue behind why Mom thinks the way she does?
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Old 01-12-2011, 01:44 PM
Motorizer Motorizer is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dadtotheend View Post
Good for the two of you for being mature and sorting it out yourselves.

Without trying to incite conflict, would Mom agree to you being the primary caregiver?

I'm guessing that you are paying the table amount of CS. Is there any plan to use off the offset method when you get to 50/50? Or is that the real issue behind why Mom thinks the way she does?
Nah, it isn't a money issue.
She knows as well as I do that it would cost WAY more to have 50/50 access.

I am paying table amounts, along with extras as they arise.
If 50/50 access comes into play, I would use offset amounts. It's only fair.

As for Primary caregiver... I've asked that neither of us be listed as primary. Though, I'm not sure that would fly, if we have to go to court.

All I'm asking is that I have an opportunity to care for my son.
I am in Edmonton, with no family around to help.
But I'm willing to see this through.
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Old 01-12-2011, 04:38 PM
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Primary means nothing really. Primary residence is essentially only used to determine the school zone where the child lives, etc.

Joint Legal Custody is what you want, along with 50-50 physical. Push her to get your current arrangements draw up legally to protect the both of you, and your child.
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Old 01-12-2011, 09:16 PM
Pharah Pharah is offline
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Agreed. You don't want this to go south with an agreement in writing. I would get what you can agree on in writing first for the time being and then you can go to court for additional access later if needed.
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