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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce. |
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#51
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Any time a parent wants to change the agreed schedule "for the child's sake" it is fair to counter suggest that you prefer the current agreement but you are willing to have the child remain with you for Christmas Day to avoid "unneccessary travel". Almost never will the other parent agree because it never really was about the child's needs. Even if you had agreed to a week about shedule, Christmas is considered by the Courts as superceeding any week about schedule and she would have had to share, regardless. She is just trying to bulldoze you and minimize your parental role.
Ignore the blame language from her - she is trying to make you react in a way that she can put before the court as proof that you are unreasonable to deal with (and then the court is dealing with two unreasonable parents and tends to throw up their hands and let the bullying parent win). Be brief, calm and positve in your communications - take a few hours before responding (24 hours if possible). I agree your lawyer is correct in escalating to an urgent motion if she makes it clear she is not going to abide by the current agreement. You are doing great in dealing with a super stressful situation! |
#52
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Thanks Tilt.
So received response from her lawyer, everything is great now regarding the holidays and schedule. They're also saying she hasn't moved her to North Bay (which is a lie), and lawyer even says they've advised her she can't do this without consent or order. So I'm guessing she'll be more vigilant in keeping her in Sudbury during the week. The only caveat they threw in was that every exchange was to take place about twenty minutes away. I was pretty fine with her doing all the driving lol. (For the record, that was her proposal when telling me she was moving in the first place). |
#53
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Paraphrasing the judge, to ex and her lawyer:
"I'm sorry to tell you, you will not succeed. I've done over 250 mobility cases and she will not win. She will not meet the threshold for mobility and it's not even close. The move is in the mom's best interest. " I'm so f'ing happy right now. Far from over I'm sure but I can breathe a little. |
#54
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Awesome news!!!
Expect to receive an offer in the next little while. You can counter with full custody to you and eow access to her from where she moves. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
#55
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Glad to hear the stress has dissipated for you.
It sounded so wrong that just because her and her BF wanted to move to North Bay that they could force everyone else to as well. Too bad they sold their houses, it seems silly that they did not wait for a ruling first. So does that mean the move to Sudbury is off too? |
#56
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Not to deflate you but, unless an agreement in writing was reached at the case conference on Jan 4th was reached and an ordered issued to that effect you need to be very dilligent. Parents who want to move often will try to move and disrupt access despite being told at a case conference that their case has no merit and these strong warnings are given. If the other parent moves forward with a motion on the subject the judge you just had can't hear the motion. So the other parent will get a whole different judge to state their case to. I wish judges had more power at case conferences and that their advice/opinions could be shared forward but, often they are not. Hopefully you walked away from the case conference with more than a strong opinion and an order to that effect. Be very mindful that a parent who wants to move who doesn't accept the sage advice of a conference judge will start to hurl all sorts of things at you... false allegations... Key point is that "parent's best interests" often come with significant bad judgement on their part. Hopefully this will be the end of it and the other parent will realize they have no case... But, considering that they have legal counsel who probably has advised them that they can't move without a court order will heed that warning and do the right thing and settle the matter. I hate to say all this. Not trying to deflate you but arm you with possible situations you may face in the near future. Hopefully the other parent doesn't have legal aid. Last edited by Tayken; 01-05-2021 at 01:37 AM. |
#57
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Thanks for the responses, much appreciated.
pinkHouses, yes, for now there's no mention of possible relocation to Sudbury (only temporarily during her weeks with her). Thanks Tayken, no problem, I'm not deflated at all. Up until the case conference I was basically hoping and praying, but now I've heard first hand from the judge how difficult getting mobility is. There was no orders made at this case conference and I know it's far from over. I hadn't thought of those possibilities you brought up so I will keep them in mind. I actually have no idea what to expect from the other party, as I am genuinely surprised by every move she made these past six months. Based on her lawyer's remarks during the case conference, I see their only real strategy is to make it look like I don't have support in this area. Knowing this, I would definitely be able to flood the court with affidavits from family, friends, and community leaders who are more than willing to help out should this get to trial. They even threw a hail mary at the end and announced she is now pregnant and that she's now being forced to choose between her daughter and partner. (This was a planned pregnancy, as she had to have had an IUD removed). Again, all about her. |
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