I went to a place for women who are in abusive situations. Once a week, they have different organizations in, so women can have several consults in various areas of divorce.
First, I spoke to a counsellor for a women's shelter. She gave me the time to give my entire history and showed her all the emails my husband has written in the past few months. She said that this was one of the worst cases of emotional manipulation, hitting on emotional, financial, and verbal abuse she'd seen in a long time. While I felt validated, I got scared when she started on a safety plan. My feelings of fear got worse and I had chalked it up to lack of sleep and paranoia.
Then I spoke to the program director, who decides if you'd qualify for legal aid, which I don't. Even though I only make about $20,000 year, because I have a house, I won't get it. She really scared me. Even though he's only been on title for three months and only contributed to the house for about a year, she said he'll get half. That was bad enough but I was expecting that.
What really has me feeling total panic because it it was completely unexpected, is that because my daughter is a minor and he's lived with her for six years, he can fight for access! OMG, I never even thought my kids custody/access would even be a factor. He never supported us. He hasn't done anything fatherly for her, other than when he used to do fun things for the first year or two. He barely knows her anymore and she doesn't want to maintain a relationship with him after witnessing his bizarre behaviour recently. I'm sick to my stomach over this. I can't afford a lawyer. The only money I have will be from the house and there wont be much. I'm feeling like the biggest failure to do this to my kids not once, but twice.
First, I spoke to a counsellor for a women's shelter. She gave me the time to give my entire history and showed her all the emails my husband has written in the past few months. She said that this was one of the worst cases of emotional manipulation, hitting on emotional, financial, and verbal abuse she'd seen in a long time. While I felt validated, I got scared when she started on a safety plan. My feelings of fear got worse and I had chalked it up to lack of sleep and paranoia.
Then I spoke to the program director, who decides if you'd qualify for legal aid, which I don't. Even though I only make about $20,000 year, because I have a house, I won't get it. She really scared me. Even though he's only been on title for three months and only contributed to the house for about a year, she said he'll get half. That was bad enough but I was expecting that.
What really has me feeling total panic because it it was completely unexpected, is that because my daughter is a minor and he's lived with her for six years, he can fight for access! OMG, I never even thought my kids custody/access would even be a factor. He never supported us. He hasn't done anything fatherly for her, other than when he used to do fun things for the first year or two. He barely knows her anymore and she doesn't want to maintain a relationship with him after witnessing his bizarre behaviour recently. I'm sick to my stomach over this. I can't afford a lawyer. The only money I have will be from the house and there wont be much. I'm feeling like the biggest failure to do this to my kids not once, but twice.
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