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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 10-23-2019, 04:25 PM
tonytwist tonytwist is offline
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Default Child Support - what does it cover?

So the last two months my ex has been sending requests for money for my daughter's commute to and from school on public transit. My question is, wouldn't this be covered by the child support payments I make every month?

In the past she has also asked for reimbursement for things such as OTC medication, haircuts, allowance, and clothing for my daughter. If the child support payments I make don't cover these things, what exactly does it cover?
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Old 10-23-2019, 04:35 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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It does cover it. Unless you pay offset support and it is lower than table. It also depends on the costs. If the child has access to public transit or a school bus but mom prefers uber or a taxi, kid should be on the bus.

Otherwise everything you list is covered by child support.

Section 7 expenses are EXTRAORDINARY to the cost of raising a child. Haircuts or cough medicine are not section 7.
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Old 10-23-2019, 04:35 PM
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Janus Janus is offline
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Assuming nothing special (eg. kid allergic to anything but fabrics sourced in Wakanda, Olympic level sports involvement, etc.)


Clothing: Fully covered by CS
Allowance: Fully covered by CS
Haircuts: Fully covered by CS
OTC medication: Likely fully covered by CS
Public transit: Likely covered by CS


In general, when she asks for money, just don't respond. She might threaten lawyers and blackmail, and even send you an angry lawyer letter, but lawyers are not judges, and exes are not judges, so you have no obligation to say anything, ever.


You've seen the American cops shows I presume. Think "anything you write can and will be used against you in a court of law". You can't help yourself by responding, so don't respond.
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Old 10-23-2019, 04:57 PM
tonytwist tonytwist is offline
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That's what I thought and I do pay the full table amount.

Could either of you direct me to where it would explicitly state that CS would cover these common living expenses? The ex has been treating me like an ATM for some time and I am expecting a fight on my hands when I finally refuse.

Not responding is good advice.

Thanks in advance.
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Old 10-23-2019, 05:16 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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There is no place to refer. Don’t respond to her.

Or if you do, a simple “this expense is neither special or extraordinary therefore it falls under child support” with a terse “I will not be responding to any further requests of this nature”.

If she wants to file legal papers let her, a judge will laugh her out of court.
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Old 10-24-2019, 11:08 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tonytwist View Post
Not responding is good advice.
But...

Quote:
Could either of you direct me to where it would explicitly state that CS would cover these common living expenses? The ex has been treating me like an ATM for some time and I am expecting a fight on my hands when I finally refuse.
Sounds like you are getting ready to argue.

Our point is don't argue. You don't have to convince her. Her opinion is irrelevant.

If you are desperate to respond, a simple "I will not make these payments you have demanded" will suffice. I would not even bother to explain why, just don't do it. If you try to explain things, those explanations could be used against you.

I'll say it again. Your words to your ex cannot possibly help in court. However, your words to your ex can definitely hurt you in court. Every word you say to her increases your risk, and you have no chance of those words helping you in any way.

Sometimes writing a response that you don't send helps control the urge to FIGHT BACK. At the very least, vow to yourself that after you write a message, you won't send it for at least 24 hours and you'll have a trusted friend read it over first.
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Old 10-24-2019, 11:18 AM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Originally Posted by Janus View Post
Sometimes writing a response that you don't send helps control the urge to FIGHT BACK. At the very least, vow to yourself that after you write a message, you won't send it for at least 24 hours and you'll have a trusted friend read it over first.

This

My husband has learned to do this. He does slip up but this is becoming less and less.

I always ask him “why” and “what will your response result in”. He then can work through the real reason he wants to reply which is to take control. You don’t need control. Open a document NOT an email and type out how you feel. Save it if you need to and then close it and walk away.
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Old 10-24-2019, 12:49 PM
dad2bandm dad2bandm is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tonytwist View Post
So the last two months my ex has been sending requests for money for my daughter's commute to and from school on public transit. My question is, wouldn't this be covered by the child support payments I make every month?

In the past she has also asked for reimbursement for things such as OTC medication, haircuts, allowance, and clothing for my daughter. If the child support payments I make don't cover these things, what exactly does it cover?

Looks like the others who already responded to you, have covered this sufficiently. All the examples you provided, would already be covered by the full table child support you are paying.


I wouldn't respond either. But if you feel you must, simply respond once, to state very simply,
"The child support I provide for <child's name> is to cover these type of day-to-day expenses".


I used to get such requests, back when I was on the paying end for support. The odd $10 school field trip. "You owe me half of the school planner cost!!!". (said planner being a $7 total cost once a year). Umm...no.
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Old 10-25-2019, 12:00 PM
tonytwist tonytwist is offline
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Originally Posted by dad2bandm View Post


I used to get such requests, back when I was on the paying end for support. The odd $10 school field trip. "You owe me half of the school planner cost!!!". (said planner being a $7 total cost once a year). Umm...no.
Yup, exactly what I've been dealing with.

Thanks for everyone's input.
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