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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 11-13-2019, 10:36 AM
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Glenn911 Glenn911 is offline
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Default Carry my ex's mortgage?

So - tomorrow is our settlement conference with a judge. I'm freaked out as my ex's brief has an equalization payment due of $36K by me (some disputed asset values). But in lieu of me making that payment - she wants me to cover her mortgage on our matrimonial home until she sells the house when my son moves out (5-7 years). This is in addition to an agreed to spousal support amount and table amount for child support.

She wants me to continue to be on the mortgage - which will hurt my own ability to get a mortgage on my own at some point in the future. (cs + ss + mortgage = more than half of my take home pay.)

I never thought I'd be asked to continue to pay the mortgage after we're divorced. Never even occurred to me. Is this something a judge may support?

Thoughts are appreciated.
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Old 11-13-2019, 11:00 AM
Berner_Faith Berner_Faith is offline
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Sell the house and she can get her equalization out of that. Then she can buy her own house and hold the mortgage


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Old 11-13-2019, 11:19 AM
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Janus Janus is offline
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1. It is very unlikely that any substantive orders will be made at a settlement conference unless you agree to them. Don't sign anything that you don't want. A good general rule is not to sign anything unless you have time to think it over for 24 hours or so.

2. I've never seen a judge order somebody to make somebody else's mortgage payments on a final order. I have seen it happen on a temporary order (an order to decide things from now until the trial)

3. As Berner said, if she can't afford the house, just have the house sold, and she can take her equalization from that.

4. Why on earth are you worried about the mortgage but you are fine giving up custody of the kids? Pro Tip: If you get the kids 50% of the time, you'll be able to spend time with the kids AND it will be much cheaper than paying table CS.
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Old 11-13-2019, 11:31 AM
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Glenn911 Glenn911 is offline
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Great info. As for the comment about my son. He's 15 and while I don't like or agree that I get him one weekend every two weeks. Its his decision. I asked him this last weekend if that was what he wanted and he said it was. I wanted him 50/50 - but it's not what he wants and have been told that at his age - a judge will respect his wishes typically.

And I agree - she really can't afford the house and do believe that it should be sold (I'm not sure she could get financing for the remaining mortgage and that is what I believe the real issue is). Division of assets has her keeping it and I keep the cottage, cars, etc. The difference in that value she wants to apply to me paying for the mortgage vs. upping spousal support or even a lump sum payment.

Just had a good conversation with my lawyer and we have a plan of action. I'm hopeful we get an agreement done before we even get to the four way conference tomorrow morning.
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Old 11-13-2019, 02:35 PM
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Yes but is your son saying that because of bullying by his mom? Some kids feel obligated to keep a parent happy. Perhaps a deeper discussion needs to be had with him. Although he is 15 so he will be off to school soon.

Your ex can ask for whatever she wants but that doesnít mean you have to agree. If she canít afford the house now there is no obligation on your part to carry it for her. What happens when kid goes away to school and cs reduces or when he ages out of cs? You are supposed to fund her lifestyle indefinitely? Plus it impacts your son as he will feel beholden to her going forward. Donít fall into the guilt trap.
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