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  • #31
    Originally posted by ThePhilosopher View Post
    You are telling me "Even if she chooses to raise the child by herself and pay for everything by herself, you are still financially responsible" Does that make any sense to you?
    Exacalacalacalacafuckinglactaly.

    YOU ARE FINANCIALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CHILD REGARDLESS.

    And all she has to do to is take you to court and she will guarandamnteed get a court order for support of the child based on your income. It's all in the forum for you to research. You know, after you write your next school paper.

    And it gets worse. When you get past the additional hardship of paying CS while in school, and after graduation with tens of thousand in student loans (which you can't dump by claiming bankruptcy), then your CS will go way up because you enter the work force, (and CS can't be dumped by bankruptcy either).

    Don't worry it only lasts until your son has completed unversity himself, you know about 4 years older than you are now.

    HA HA HA HA HA HA. If only it were that funny.

    Comment


    • #32
      Originally posted by ThePhilosopher View Post
      Answer me, why is a women able to undergo an abortion without the males consent and at the same may refuse an abortion but hold the man responsible. Does this make any sense? No, it is sexist. Also, appealing to authority is a logical fallacy, so I don't want to hear "its the law". In Saudi Arabia women cant drive, that does not mean it is right.
      Because in the eyes of the law the best interest of the child prevails over everything, and the child needs support so you get to pay sucker!!!

      Comment


      • #33
        Welcome to ON.

        Comment


        • #34
          Originally posted by ThePhilosopher View Post
          Answer me, why is a women able to undergo an abortion without the males consent and at the same may refuse an abortion but hold the man responsible. Does this make any sense? No, it is sexist. Also, appealing to authority is a logical fallacy, so I don't want to hear "its the law". In Saudi Arabia women cant drive, that does not mean it is right.
          That part is irrelevant, if you want to debate abortion rights then go find a forum for fathers of unwanted children. This board discusses the issues around seperation, divorce and child support. Which by the way, you may have heard, is the right of the child.

          I will take pity on you though. Here's what you need to do to relieve this child of you:

          Have her file for sole custody of the child, go to court to have it approved. You will have to speak with the judge to explain why you are choosing not to pursue custody, make sure you tell him/her that you didn't want the baby, you have dreams and aspirations and would have chosen abortion therefore establishing solid reasons for not wanting the responsibility of a child. Make sure to tell the judge you want that to extend to financial support as well so you won't be burdened further down the road if she changes her mind on your verbal agreement. You don't even need a lawyer, just have her file the motion and you show up. The judge makes a ruling, you're free to go. Voila.

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          • #35
            Blink, you're naughty!

            Comment


            • #36
              Originally posted by dadtotheend View Post
              Because in the eyes of the law the best interest of the child prevails over everything, and the child needs support so you get to pay sucker!!!
              If I impregnate a woman, and I want the baby, then she has to birth it and then support it even if she does not want to. Otherwise, I demand the same right to abort from parenthood that any woman possesses. Obviously this is not the case, so it is blatant sexism.

              Actually no I am not paying for anything. Again, she has agreed to take care of the child by herself...legally I do not even exist as the father for I am not on the certificate nor have I taken any tests to prove that I am the father.

              What I wanted to know was that if right now I posses any rights to the child, if I have to GIVE all my rights to HER via court.

              Comment


              • #37
                As long as she keeps silent on paternity, no there is nothing that needs to be done to sign over your rights.
                Then again... next year she could change her mind....

                Comment


                • #38
                  lol, why the hindsite?

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
                    That part is irrelevant, if you want to debate abortion rights then go find a forum for fathers of unwanted children. This board discusses the issues around seperation, divorce and child support. Which by the way, you may have heard, is the right of the child.

                    I will take pity on you though. Here's what you need to do to relieve this child of you:

                    Have her file for sole custody of the child, go to court to have it approved. You will have to speak with the judge to explain why you are choosing not to pursue custody, make sure you tell him/her that you didn't want the baby, you have dreams and aspirations and would have chosen abortion therefore establishing solid reasons for not wanting the responsibility of a child. Make sure to tell the judge you want that to extend to financial support as well so you won't be burdened further down the road if she changes her mind on your verbal agreement. You don't even need a lawyer, just have her file the motion and you show up. The judge makes a ruling, you're free to go. Voila.
                    I know it irrelevant to the discussion, I am just defending my beliefs when they are challenged.

                    Thank you for that information. Does she not already have sole custody though? Like I said before, legally I am not the father, im not on the certificate nor have I done any tests. Doesn't this mean that she automatically has all the rights and custody unless I challenge her for them?

                    Or do you mean that she could nail me at anytime for child support UNLESS I get that done?

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Okay, this is probably very overwhelming right now, and no doubt you are spinning, your world is turned upsidedown, your future is turned sideways. The stress has put you in fight or flight mode but unfortunately, there is nothing to fight, and this is a dilemma you can't flee. Don't make any hasty decisions until you are able to step back from the intense emotional reaction to the news and do some research, as has been suggested, so you can make more rational, well-informed decisions.

                      Posters here are correct, if lacking in tact. Child support is the right of the child; no matter what your ex-girlfriend suggests right now, she cannot legally give up your son's right to have his father's support. You can have whatever documentation you like, right now, but at any time later, she can change her mind and a judge will order you to pay lots and lots of money, depending on what your income may be.

                      No doubt hearing this news sucks. You are on the hook for 18+ years for a decision you think you had nothing to do with making. But you did make that decision when you chose to have a sexual relationship, even if it wasn't a conscious decision. We are all responsible for our actions, intentional or otherwise.

                      But think of this. Not too far out there, is a little tiny infant, innocent, with a future wide ahead of him. Do you really want to punish him for his mother's secrecy and/or selfishness? Do you really want your flesh and blood to go without things you could provide for him? Do you really want a little boy to grow up thinking his father didn't care? That's a lot of psychological baggage to heap onto a child who doesn't deserve it.

                      If you're a student, your income right now is probably not too significant, so support you pay would be fairly minimal for a while, and sure, after you enter the workforce, it will be a bit more work to get yourself where you want to be. But small sacrifices on your part are better than taking away food, clothing and opportunities from a small child who had even less choice about coming into this world than you had for him. Small sacrifices along the way are also a lot less painful than being slapped with a huge bill for the arrears years down the road.

                      And, no matter what your ex-girlfriend says, you can ask to see your son now and then. He has a right to know you, and will likely WANT to know you as he grows up. He'll be a much better boy and a man someday for knowing his father cared. And you'll be a much better man for caring about him.

                      Good luck.

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        Originally posted by ThePhilosopher View Post
                        I know it irrelevant to the discussion, I am just defending my beliefs when they are challenged.

                        Thank you for that information. Does she not already have sole custody though? Like I said before, legally I am not the father, im not on the certificate nor have I done any tests. Doesn't this mean that she automatically has all the rights and custody unless I challenge her for them?

                        Or do you mean that she could nail me at anytime for child support UNLESS I get that done?
                        Unless you have 100% proof that you are NOT the father, she can nail you for support at anytime, for the next 20+ years, regardless if she has sole custody or not, on paper or not. There is no such thing as 'legally you are not the father' unless you can prove it.

                        When she ends up on welfare she will have no choice but to take you to court for support, the law requires she seek support.

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          Originally posted by dinkyface View Post
                          As long as she keeps silent on paternity, no there is nothing that needs to be done to sign over your rights.
                          Then again... next year she could change her mind....
                          So, what you are saying is that right now she could file for CS at any time she pleases. If she files for sole custody with the condition that I do not have to pay CS, then she can't ask me to pay whenever she wants?

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            Originally posted by ThePhilosopher View Post
                            So, what you are saying is that right now she could file for CS at any time she pleases. If she files for sole custody with the condition that I do not have to pay CS, then she can't ask me to pay whenever she wants?
                            She cannot give up the right to CS. It's the child's right, not hers, and no judge will let you off the hook. Sole custody has nothing to do with it. Sole custody just means you aren't allowed any input into decisions like what school your son should attend, or if he should be vaccinated, or what church baptizes him.

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              Originally posted by Rioe View Post
                              Okay, this is probably very overwhelming right now, and no doubt you are spinning, your world is turned upsidedown, your future is turned sideways. The stress has put you in fight or flight mode but unfortunately, there is nothing to fight, and this is a dilemma you can't flee. Don't make any hasty decisions until you are able to step back from the intense emotional reaction to the news and do some research, as has been suggested, so you can make more rational, well-informed decisions.

                              Posters here are correct, if lacking in tact. Child support is the right of the child; no matter what your ex-girlfriend suggests right now, she cannot legally give up your son's right to have his father's support. You can have whatever documentation you like, right now, but at any time later, she can change her mind and a judge will order you to pay lots and lots of money, depending on what your income may be.

                              No doubt hearing this news sucks. You are on the hook for 18+ years for a decision you think you had nothing to do with making. But you did make that decision when you chose to have a sexual relationship, even if it wasn't a conscious decision. We are all responsible for our actions, intentional or otherwise.

                              But think of this. Not too far out there, is a little tiny infant, innocent, with a future wide ahead of him. Do you really want to punish him for his mother's secrecy and/or selfishness? Do you really want your flesh and blood to go without things you could provide for him? Do you really want a little boy to grow up thinking his father didn't care? That's a lot of psychological baggage to heap onto a child who doesn't deserve it.

                              If you're a student, your income right now is probably not too significant, so support you pay would be fairly minimal for a while, and sure, after you enter the workforce, it will be a bit more work to get yourself where you want to be. But small sacrifices on your part are better than taking away food, clothing and opportunities from a small child who had even less choice about coming into this world than you had for him. Small sacrifices along the way are also a lot less painful than being slapped with a huge bill for the arrears years down the road.

                              And, no matter what your ex-girlfriend says, you can ask to see your son now and then. He has a right to know you, and will likely WANT to know you as he grows up. He'll be a much better boy and a man someday for knowing his father cared. And you'll be a much better man for caring about him.

                              Good luck.
                              Actually, she comes from a very wealthy family...support is really not a problem.

                              I thank you for taking the time to write such an extensive and informative post for me but my friend my moral compass is different than many people you will know. I am more of a calculating type that lives for certain goals that I try to accomplish no matter what. These goals are something I would put in front of anything. I am also an objective person, that believes in equality between men and women. I will not take part in something that I am morally against, this is an example. If a women can opt out, I should be able to do the same.

                              Originally posted by blinkandimgone
                              Unless you have 100% proof that you are NOT the father, she can nail you for support at anytime, for the next 20+ years, regardless if she has sole custody or not, on paper or not. There is no such thing as 'legally you are not the father' unless you can prove it.

                              When she ends up on welfare she will have no choice but to take you to court for support, the law requires she seek support.
                              So then there is no point of her even filing for sole custody? She has the same rights and conditions when being silent about paternity then filing for sole custody....is that right?

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                Originally posted by Rioe View Post
                                Posters here are correct, if lacking in tact.
                                I do too have tact - I'm just not a very good sharer!!

                                Comment

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