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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #81  
Old 06-13-2014, 04:14 PM
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I would also suggest you consider the following

http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...tml#post173449
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  #82  
Old 06-13-2014, 04:25 PM
ninehundredt ninehundredt is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FB_ View Post
I would also suggest you consider the following

http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...tml#post173449
LOL I was just reading that! I've already got a log I keep with all events from day 1. Making a chart showing the requests and denials for access is a great idea. I bet the judge will love it.
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  #83  
Old 06-17-2014, 12:54 PM
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I had a great visit with my kids on Father's day, even if it was only for a few hours under the circumstances. I've made arrangements to consult with another lawyer, as my current one is crap.

The ex's lawyer appears to be playing the delay game, not responding to any of my requests. I'm hoping once the new lawyer is in place progress will resume at a better pace.
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  #84  
Old 07-21-2014, 02:38 PM
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Haven't posted an update in awhile. I lost some time by being continuously ignored while self-representing, as well as hiring a not-so-great lawyer. Finally found a really good lawyer and things are back on track.

My motion for temporary access was filed, and is supposed to occur this Wednesday. Still waiting on the affidavit from the other party, which I'm sure I'll get as late as possible...leaving me little time to respond. Hope to have my access back soon.
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  #85  
Old 11-19-2015, 03:29 PM
ninehundredt ninehundredt is offline
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Just an update, as I've been posting in another thread, and should have kept most of the content in here for posterity. Some content is copied directly from this thread, but I've included a bit more detail for better context:

http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...-access-19283/

After a couple changes in representation I finally got a decent lawyer. Once in court, around July of 2014, the judge refused to grant joint custody, stating that it was not appropriate since the ex had shown she was not willing to co-parent. Judge had access restored immediately with my 2.5 year old daughter, and graduated access over a 5 month period with my youngest daughter (7 months old at the time). Access continued normally every other weekend, and every Wednesday evening for 2 hours (dinner with the kids) for the next year. The girls and I were in a regular routine, and aside from their mother being generally difficult during emails or exchanges, everything else was good.

Fast forward to July 2015. My first week-long summer vacation with the kids. I get a call from the ex late morning asking how the kids are doing. I tell her that my youngest (D1.5) didnt sleep well, but otherwise they are doing well. She asks to speak with my D4. My daughter starts talking to her and mentions that my girlfriend is in the shower (kids say the darndest things I tell ya!). Then I assume her mother asks her to pass the phone back to me wherein she starts berating me for having a girlfriend over during the vacation with the kids. Since she was being belligerent and unintelligible I just hung up the phone.

15 minutes later there is a knock at the door. Guess who? I opened the door a crack and asked her what she wanted. She told me to get the girls ready and that she was taking them home. I told her that they are both fine and didnt want to come home. She mentioned that the police have already been called, so I said that is good and we can wait for them to arrive to sort out the situation. She then became more agitated and began forcing her way into the house. I tried to keep her out but she shoved the door open and began shoving me as I blocked the stairwell to the living room. The kids became extremely upset, even with my girlfriend trying to calm them down. I decided it wasnt worth them being traumatized, and let her pass. She grabbed them both by the arms and dragged them out of the house screaming. I told her that I would be contacting my lawyer, and she responded that I would never see these kids again.

I immediately called the police and they arrived shortly thereafter to take down statements from both myself and my girlfriend. My ex ended up going to the station as well, and when all was said and done they charged her with assault and forced entry. It was shortly after that I discovered that she now had a no-contact bail condition which basically makes our normal child exchanges impossible. After consulting my lawyer I got in touch with an exchange center 15 minutes from where both of us live. They were very accommodating and started a file. My lawyer forwarded the information to my ex so she could initiate her portion of the application. We gave her two weeks to respond / initiate the access and she ignored us.

We proceeded with an emergency motion to restore access. My ex responded in writing, claiming that I have been abusive to her and the children and was an unfit parent. She included photos of her bruised elbows (presumably from forcing her way into my house), yet claimed that I had punched her in the chest and back. Ive never heard of anyone attacking someone in the elbow. She also included a picture of a bruise on my oldest daughters arm that she got while playing at the park earlier in the summer. Obviously grasping at straws.

The EM was heard towards the end of September, and the judge ordered her to initiate exchanges at the centre I applied to. A couple weeks passed, and she had still not been in contact with the exchange centre. My lawyer sent her a letter threatening continued court action if she refused to comply. A couple more weeks passed, so we went ahead with a motion of contempt, asking that the custody arrangement be reviewed and get OCL involved. I arrived at court in mid-October, but was sent home, as there was no sitting judge to hear the case. In addition I discovered that my exs lawyer refused to represent her moving forward, and she must find a new lawyer. The motion was postponed until the end of November 2015

Since then weve filed the paperwork for a new case conference, and served my ex. Shes responded with the same colorful response from before.stating that I am physically and verbally abusive to her and the children, and she wants me to have only supervised access with them. She wants the contempt dismissed, as she feels her withholding access is in the best interest of the children. My lawyer tells me that she has obtained representation from a lawyer who is notoriously difficult to work with (the type that delays and takes advantage of the system, rather than make attempts at solving the problem). In addition, the county still does not have a sitting judge, and the temporary fill-in has a history of favoring women. My lawyer could not offer any encouragement, as he has no idea what to expect from this judge. Thats my experience up to this point. It will be 5 months on December 1st that Ive not spoken or seen my children.
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  #86  
Old 11-19-2015, 06:18 PM
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Sorry to hear you are going through this. Seems that incompetent lawyers are abundant in Ontario.

You need a concise Order - you need to get in front of a judge. I'd recommend you put aside your paranoia about male vs. female judges and instead focus on getting in front of a judge, any judge, as soon as possible.

Same goes for your ex's lawyer. Who cares if she hires a sleazy lawyer. If you have a competent lawyer this should not matter.

Be organized and have the Order that you hope to obtain (with police enforcement) drafted so the overworked judge doesn't have to do much.

Good luck.
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  #87  
Old 11-19-2015, 06:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
Sorry to hear you are going through this. Seems that incompetent lawyers are abundant in Ontario.

You need a concise Order - you need to get in front of a judge. I'd recommend you put aside your paranoia about male vs. female judges and instead focus on getting in front of a judge, any judge, as soon as possible.

Same goes for your ex's lawyer. Who cares if she hires a sleazy lawyer. If you have a competent lawyer this should not matter.

Be organized and have the Order that you hope to obtain (with police enforcement) drafted so the overworked judge doesn't have to do much.

Good luck.
Didn't mean to give you that impression. Every judge I've had up to this point has been female, and the outcome has been acceptable. What I really should have emphasized is that my lawyer simply doesn't know what to expect from her.

Case conference is scheduled for this coming Monday. We received a letter from my ex's lawyer today asking for an adjournment due to a scheduling conflict. He also requested that the contempt motion be adjourned to a hearing during the next scheduled trial sittings as a full hearing on viva voce evidence will be required.

My lawyer promptly responded that we would not adjourn unless access resumes in accordance with the most recent interim order.

In his response he agreed to the second statement regarding the contempt motion, which concerns me because I don't understand the language.

Can anyone elaborate on here as to what that full hearing portion means specifically? Are they referring to another case conference, or trial? I asked my lawyer, and all they told me was that both parties would have to testify.
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  #88  
Old 11-19-2015, 07:11 PM
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Good that your lawyer "promptly" replied. That's something.

From what I understand (I'm no lawyer) is that contempt is a case unto itself. Reason being is that a persons' liberty (jail time) is within judge's recourse. So of course you have to go through the hoops on that one - very time consuming and therefore expensive. This sounds like a bit of legal posturing to me. Chances are that the contempt matter will be dropped should your ex get her act together.

From what I'm seeing coming out of Ontario courts with the never-ending case conference system it is an endless waste of one's time unless the two parties can agree on something "on consent." If that is the case, hopefully you have a competent lawyer (not like LF32's) who actually takes the judge's endorsement and prepares an Order. It is doubtful that you will get the other side to agree to police enforcement at a case conference so I would really question your lawyer's decision to go this route yet again.

The way I see it, case conferences are when both parties play nice. If you really want to get things accomplished and decided with any finality you go to a motion. Others may disagree and I look forward to hearing their points of view.

Last edited by arabian; 11-19-2015 at 07:14 PM.
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  #89  
Old 11-19-2015, 07:28 PM
ninehundredt ninehundredt is offline
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I found it odd that we were doing another case conference, rather than just having the previous motion for restoring access heard again. I think his goal (and my own) is to make every attempt to settle these issues and avoid a trial.

Interested to hear other opinions as well.
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  #90  
Old 11-19-2015, 07:40 PM
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The longer your dispute continues the more money the lawyers make - simple really.

Going to motion doesn't eliminate settlement. If anything I think it does the opposite and encourages settlement. A rational individual would soon learn that it is much better to make decisions than let the court do it for you.

You let us know how well your CC goes and if you get any Orders on consent out of it (with specific consequences - financial or otherwise should parties not adhere to order). I'll wager a bet you may get an Order out of it but that it is unenforceable.
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