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mcdreamy · #71 06-09-2014, 07:31 PM

Your ex is to be the supervisor? Shakes my head.
Have they given any inkling why they deem supervision a requirement?

Beachnana · #72 06-09-2014, 07:58 PM

You need a 3 rd party there. Witness. Find someone mutually acceptable.

ninehundredt · #73 06-09-2014, 08:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mcdreamy

Your ex is to be the supervisor? Shakes my head.
Have they given any inkling why they deem supervision a requirement?

This is an informal visit. I don't think my ex should be considered a supervisor, but I agree with beachnana that it might be sensible to have another person there with me.

They haven't offered up any reasoning for requiring supervision, and I don't believe they have any.

FB_ · #74 06-09-2014, 08:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ninehundredt

This is an informal visit. I don't think my ex should be considered a supervisor, but I agree with beachnana that it might be sensible to have another person there with me.

They haven't offered up any reasoning for requiring supervision, and I don't believe they have any.

Sounds like standard operating practice for someone who wants to ride the child support gravy train.

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ninehundredt · #75 06-09-2014, 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FB_

Sounds like standard operating practice for someone who wants to ride the child support gravy train.

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Except she's already getting full guideline child support. It's more likely based on resentment, or the need for full control.

paco · #76 06-10-2014, 10:53 AM

As common as dirt most of the time.
Ninehundret, my situation is very similar to yours, my sc/tmc it's coming pretty soon. Parallel parenting could be an alternative for high conflict couples.

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ninehundredt · #77 06-10-2014, 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by paco

As common as dirt most of the time.
Ninehundret, my situation is very similar to yours, my sc/tmc it's coming pretty soon. Parallel parenting could be an alternative for high conflict couples.

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It sounds like you're a bit further along, but yes it seems to be the common strand among many of us on here. Parallel parenting certainly is an option, but I would much rather we were able to work together to co-parent properly. I'm going to do whatever I can to make that happen, as I think it would be the best for our kids.

Canadaguy · #78 06-11-2014, 01:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ninehundredt

Because of some confusion at the courthouse my case conference has been postponed again (yay for bureaucracy). My ex and her lawyer tried to get me to agree to an order of supervised access at a centre, but I declined. I'm fairly confident that I'll get proper access once the motion is heard a couple days after the next case conference.

Surprisingly enough they agreed to a visit on Father's day...which is great news since I haven't seen my kids in over a month. At the same time it kind of begs the question...why insist on supervised access at a centre when you're willing to agree to access outside of one?

This is a typical control thing, and IMO you need to push a little harder back. The courts will keep pushing things back and you may need to check with your lawyer if and how to file an emergency motion for a temp access schedule immediately.

I would use the whole she won't even let you see the kids on fathers day or any other day as a reason for the emergency motion.

Furthermore, I would not ever, ever, ever agree to any supervised access time. There is no reason for it. Call her lawyer and tell him that too, unless they have proof supervision is required, you are not going to do it and a judge will rip his client (her) a new one for denying access for no reason. If he is any sense in him he will implement a temp access schedule TODAY. Try calling him and being aggressive with him to get anywhere. If not then send him an aggressive letter, use this in court showing that you tried but they denied.

At this point making her more pissed off is your least worry. Her being more made can't make anything worse since you can't see your kids now anyways.

The more pressure you put on her, her lawyer and the courts the faster things will move. She will get stressed out and run out of money for her lawyer faster and will make her possibly settle.

Canadaguy · #79 06-11-2014, 01:13 PM

Try even having daily conversations with her lawyer. I assume you have provided him with an offer to settle, parenting agreement, etc. Keep bugging him to mark up their changes and send back to you.

If they sent you a parenting plan, mark up the changes you want and send back to them. Call the lawyer to review all the points you disagree on. Push him why those points are not valid and that a judge would favor in you for those points for such and such reasons.

Document all this to use in court. That you tried to settle and the main issues are 1.,2.,3. and they have no evidence that supervision is needed, and give reasons why it is not needed.

Remember, more of his time you eat up less money she has to take it to court. It is a great way for her to settle.

ninehundredt · #80 06-13-2014, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Canadaguy

Try even having daily conversations with her lawyer. I assume you have provided him with an offer to settle, parenting agreement, etc. Keep bugging him to mark up their changes and send back to you.

If they sent you a parenting plan, mark up the changes you want and send back to them. Call the lawyer to review all the points you disagree on. Push him why those points are not valid and that a judge would favor in you for those points for such and such reasons.

Document all this to use in court. That you tried to settle and the main issues are 1.,2.,3. and they have no evidence that supervision is needed, and give reasons why it is not needed.

Remember, more of his time you eat up less money she has to take it to court. It is a great way for her to settle.

Completely agree with you. I've sent out another temporary access request and will hopefully complete my offer to settle / parenting plan this weekend so I can send it off next week. I'll post an update when I have some news. Either way they are going to look really bad once the conference comes around. Not making any effort at resolution should be enough to put the judge on edge.

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