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FB_ · #51 05-09-2014, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ninehundredt

I've responded to the adjournment notice, and requested that they consider mediation. Although I don't like the idea of delaying this any longer than it needs to be, this is time I desperately need for preparation.

Once again thank you to everyone on here for being so helpful to those of us going through this. It's greatly appreciated.

Continuing open conversation about settling is always good but if there is nothing to talk about keep holding your ground.

I tried to negotiate for over a year before filing with the courts. Best thing I ever did. With court they have deadlines. You can bet they don't want to be in court any more than you do. Stick to your guns. Keep making FAIR offers to settle at every step of the process.

The offer to settle is your friend. Going forward don't delay any more processes and be firm.

ninehundredt · #52 05-09-2014, 05:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Canadaguy

Did the judge say anything? Were you able to ask for mediation in front of the judge and have her lawyer say no?

What is the status of your access now? Is she still denying you access? Have you filed an emergency motion to gain access back to your kids?

What documents are you required to complete for CC in June?

To answer your questions:

1. Status of access: My ex is allowing me to see the kids once a week for a period of several hours. Although it�s not ideal (actually pretty atrocious), it�s better than not at all. If I push for more time with them she usually cuts off all access for several weeks.

2. I have not filed an emergency motion yet, and was planning on mentioning this to the lawyer on Wednesday (as well as considering the advice of people on here). From everything I�ve been reading it will fall on deaf ears, but I am willing to file it either way.

3. As far as I know all I�m required to file for the case conference is a case brief (which is served to the other party and also filed in the court).

4. My ex�s lawyer was not present, but had an agent lawyer present to request the adjournment. I mentioned to the judge that I have requested the other party consider mediation, and she replied �That�s between the two of you, and has no bearing here�.

The case conference was scheduled for 10am, but was not actually held until almost 11. Apparently the court system has a hard time maintaining it�s own scheduling. Another vacation day down the drain.

ninehundredt · #53 05-09-2014, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FB_

Continuing open conversation about settling is always good but if there is nothing to talk about keep holding your ground.

I tried to negotiate for over a year before filing with the courts. Best thing I ever did. With court they have deadlines. You can bet they don't want to be in court any more than you do. Stick to your guns. Keep making FAIR offers to settle at every step of the process.

The offer to settle is your friend. Going forward don't delay any more processes and be firm.

This is good to hear, although I've heard much the opposite from others. Much along the line of lawyers purposely delaying proceedings to pocket more money in representation costs. I certainly would like this over as soon as possible.

Could you elaborate on the process of making settlement offers? In a nutshell is it a matter of preparing a written offer and serving it to the other party and hoping to establish a dialog of negotiation outside of court?

Does the court need to be involved / kept apprised...i.e. do I have to file the settlement offer with them as well? I appreciate your insight.

ninehundredt · #54 05-23-2014, 11:01 AM

Update

I was seeing the kids once a week for a few hours at a time, but a couple weeks back I asked politely for her to elaborate on how they are doing since I don�t see them often. I got a nasty attitude and response in return, and she stated that I should send all requests through her lawyer. She hasn�t responded to any of my requests since.

I've sent two requests to her lawyer in an attempt to establish a dialogue to agree on some form of temporary access, and begin negotiating a settlement. I haven't received any response. I'm getting the distinct impression that their strategy is to ignore me and hope I just go away.

In any case it�s been over two weeks now since I�ve seen or heard from my kids. It�s terribly difficult thinking about them all the time, but I�m trying to stay focused on preparing the court documents in advance of the case conference. I�ll probably make one more written request to her lawyer in an attempt to start a conversation, and spend the remaining time working on my settlement offer for the conference.

On a good note I did receive her financial statement, and I don�t believe she is a candidate for legal aid based on her current monthly income...even as a stay at home mom. At least this way she is on the hook for her lawyer costs just like me. That should help fast track things a bit. I�m still astonished that it�s come to this. Wasting time and resources which other people desperately have more need for. This all could be solved with a little adult discussion and negotiation.

FB_ · #55 05-23-2014, 11:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ninehundredt

This is good to hear, although I've heard much the opposite from others. Much along the line of lawyers purposely delaying proceedings to pocket more money in representation costs. I certainly would like this over as soon as possible.

Could you elaborate on the process of making settlement offers? In a nutshell is it a matter of preparing a written offer and serving it to the other party and hoping to establish a dialog of negotiation outside of court?

Does the court need to be involved / kept apprised...i.e. do I have to file the settlement offer with them as well? I appreciate your insight.

Sorry didn't see your response until now

You can offer to settle anything. You just have to write it up and serve it on the other party pursuant to the rules.

At this point they won't get you too far. However a good early offer to settle goes a long way in showing you are the reasonable one.

You want them to put something in writing even if its temporary.

FB_ · #56 05-23-2014, 11:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ninehundredt

Update

I was seeing the kids once a week for a few hours at a time, but a couple weeks back I asked politely for her to elaborate on how they are doing since I don�t see them often. I got a nasty attitude and response in return, and she stated that I should send all requests through her lawyer. She hasn�t responded to any of my requests since.

I've sent two requests to her lawyer in an attempt to establish a dialogue to agree on some form of temporary access, and begin negotiating a settlement. I haven't received any response. I'm getting the distinct impression that their strategy is to ignore me and hope I just go away.

In any case it�s been over two weeks now since I�ve seen or heard from my kids. It�s terribly difficult thinking about them all the time, but I�m trying to stay focused on preparing the court documents in advance of the case conference. I�ll probably make one more written request to her lawyer in an attempt to start a conversation, and spend the remaining time working on my settlement offer for the conference.

On a good note I did receive her financial statement, and I don�t believe she is a candidate for legal aid based on her current monthly income...even as a stay at home mom. At least this way she is on the hook for her lawyer costs just like me. That should help fast track things a bit. I�m still astonished that it�s come to this. Wasting time and resources which other people desperately have more need for. This all could be solved with a little adult discussion and negotiation.

That's not good.

Remember one thing be patient. Continue to try and have open communication with their lawyer. They want you to do something crazy to prove that you don't deserve to be a father.

The only thing you can do is remain calm and try to continue to get as much access as allowed.

All the information you need is in LF32's thread. You are a little bit behind him in the process.

When is your new CC date?

ninehundredt · #57 05-23-2014, 11:27 AM

No it isn’t good, but I’m managing to stay calm and collected. I’ve read through most of LF32’s thread, and garnered some good info from his experiences. My case is far less complex in comparison, and I have been making requests to negotiate for some time now.

I'm certain that there will be no interim access before the case conference based on the lack of response from the other side. I'll continue to make requests (I've been faxing mine per the family law rules, so I have confirmations of receipt). My CC is the second week of June. Only a couple more weeks and we'll be in front of a judge.

My lawyer thinks it's just a delay tactic in hopes of me giving up. That certainly won't be happening in this lifetime

FB_ · #58 05-23-2014, 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ninehundredt

No it isn�t good, but I�m managing to stay calm and collected. I�ve read through most of LF32�s thread, and garnered some good info from his experiences. My case is far less complex in comparison, and I have been making requests to negotiate for some time now.

I'm certain that there will be no interim access before the case conference based on the lack of response from the other side. I'll continue to make requests (I've been faxing mine per the family law rules, so I have confirmations of receipt). My CC is the second week of June. Only a couple more weeks and we'll be in front of a judge.

My lawyer thinks it's just a delay tactic in hopes of me giving up. That certainly won't be happening in this lifetime

Don't waste money by continuing to contact the lawyer.

Just tell the judge at the case conference you attempted to restore access number times as noted in Letter xyz. You were denied access without reason. I guarantee you will get something at case conference.

What is your lawyer recommending?

ninehundredt · #59 05-23-2014, 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FB_

Don't waste money by continuing to contact the lawyer.

Just tell the judge at the case conference you attempted to restore access number times as noted in Letter xyz. You were denied access without reason. I guarantee you will get something at case conference.

What is your lawyer recommending?

Not sure how I would be wasting money since I'm the one drafting and sending the requests (I'm self rep).

I'm submitting the unanswered requests along with my evidence and affidavit. Per the lawyers recommendation I'm filing the evidence along with the conference brief.

Aside from that I'm modifying my existing separation agreement to give out at the conference as a settlement offer. I'm not sure if this offer has to be filed with the case docs, or if I can just hand deliver it to the other side at the conference. Suggestions?

FB_ · #60 05-23-2014, 01:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ninehundredt

Not sure how I would be wasting money since I'm the one drafting and sending the requests (I'm self rep).

I'm submitting the unanswered requests along with my evidence and affidavit. Per the lawyers recommendation I'm filing the evidence along with the conference brief.

Aside from that I'm modifying my existing separation agreement to give out at the conference as a settlement offer. I'm not sure if this offer has to be filed with the case docs, or if I can just hand deliver it to the other side at the conference. Suggestions?

Sorry I assumed when you said "your Lawyer" that he was doing the work and you were paying for it.

Offers to settle need to follow existing service rules but not filed with the court. I think anyway, others can confirm.

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