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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #121  
Old 02-09-2016, 01:34 PM
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Tayken Tayken is offline
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Originally Posted by mafia007 View Post
I'm the one with criminal charge and after the CC, I can't see my kids unless it's supervised. In your case, she's the one with criminal charge and SHE HAS THE KIDS with her and she's asking for your access to be supervised...
I hope you have a lawyer. You had to consent to the access schedule as a judge has no right to make a substantial order on custody and access at a Case Conference (CC) without consent.

No lawyer would have advised of anything like you have described and if your lawyer did... time to find a new one.

Also, something William Eddy (High Conflict Institute) often says is that once a court case starts your whole life is a matter of public record. Anything you do or say, no matter to who, could find its way into the court record.

Your best place to express "feelings" is with a clinical therapist. Even a clinical therapist would be obligated to report your statement of strangulation to law enforcement.

Good Luck!
Tayken
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  #122  
Old 02-09-2016, 02:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
I hope you have a lawyer. You had to consent to the access schedule as a judge has no right to make a substantial order on custody and access at a Case Conference (CC) without consent.

No lawyer would have advised of anything like you have described and if your lawyer did... time to find a new one.


I never agreed to supervised visits. It was imposed by the judge at the CC and when I objected to her position stating that there was no supervised access in my new house during this summer even if my criminal case was still pending, she (the judge) took the police report in her hands to show it before me and just told me that she clearly understood my ex's concerns. I did not consent but my lawyer said it was better than not seeing my kids at all. I was trying everything to see them during the Holidays... and still today, I haven't seen them anyway.

In a week will be my first motion and I am asking that my access be reinstated in my new home without supervision and with overnights. Note that my criminal record will finally be dismissed this week.
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  #123  
Old 02-09-2016, 03:05 PM
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Originally Posted by mafia007 View Post
I never agreed to supervised visits. It was imposed by the judge at the CC and when I objected to her position stating that there was no supervised access in my new house during this summer even if my criminal case was still pending, she (the judge) took the police report in her hands to show it before me and just told me that she clearly understood my ex's concerns. I did not consent but my lawyer said it was better than not seeing my kids at all. I was trying everything to see them during the Holidays... and still today, I haven't seen them anyway.
If you did not provide consent then they judge at a CC cannot make that order. Also, you should have a good lawyer who could have waved Shaw v Shaw back at the judge and similar case law. Or at least be familiar with this VERY COMMON jurisprudence and easily argued for a motion to be heard and for it to be a long motion and that both parties prepare books of authorities on the matter.

See this thread: http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...w-cited-13457/

No excused anymore... Educate your lawyer if you have to! Never consent to something at a CC and drive matters to motion for determination. If you do consent to something don't complaint that the court system is biased because you made a decision to consent to something you state you didn't consent to...


Quote:
Originally Posted by mafia007 View Post
In a week will be my first motion and I am asking that my access be reinstated in my new home without supervision and with overnights. Note that my criminal record will finally be dismissed this week.
Please repeat after me... I will read the link Tayken provided fully and any other links provided in the comments. I will educate my lawyer on the basics of Shaw v. Shaw and demand the lawyer follow my instruction to argue the matter in accordance with what has already been established in jurisprudence. If my lawyer is not willing to do this then I will see another lawyer who primarily practices in family law and understands what the norm is and actually knows how to search CanLII.


Here is the reference for Shaw v. Shaw: 2008 ONCJ 130 (CanLII)

Also read this one (para. 9 in particular): http://canlii.ca/t/gj3cm

Honestly, you didn't need to agree to how things typically went in 1988... As our prime minister has said: It is 2015 (now 2016). No reason you shouldn't have access - especially when your threat is against the other parent and not the children.

Good Luck!
Tayken

Last edited by Tayken; 02-09-2016 at 03:13 PM.
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  #124  
Old 02-09-2016, 03:23 PM
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Shaw Vs. Shaw is great caselaw.

Conferences are tricky when it comes to allegations of abuse and supervision.

The judge isn't there to analyze all the evidence to see if the abuse actually occurred. Therein lies the problem. Dad wants to see kid -->mom saying dad's an abuser --> judge has to err on side of caution.

I made the mistake Tayken is talking about by consenting to supervised as well. I HAD to see my daughter no matter what. I just couldn't wait any longer and I know D4 couldn't either.

I remember asking the judge (and I still have the transcripts) ..

"Your honor, I don't agree that I require supervision. I have a clean drug test, clean record, etc. I have never been involved with police in my entire life and and Ms. ___ has nothing to back up her claims[".

Didn't matter. The judge told me he had no choice but to er on the side of caution. I then asked "Is this the ONLY way I get to see my D4?" To which he replied....yes, unfortunately.

I did schedule a motion then...but I couldn't go another hour without seeing D4 .. which would have been in another few months awaiting the motion. No way I could do that.

The cool thing was the judge wrote on his endorsement..."Although I see no requirement of supervision, Mr. LF32 will have supervised visits from.....". I believe this was a message for the subsequent judge at the motion, who we all know slammed my ex fairly hard for her behavior.

It's such a tough situation if it's the only way the OP is allowing you to see your child.
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  #125  
Old 02-18-2016, 10:27 PM
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Submitting a motion tomorrow in hopes of getting an early March court date. I'm hoping to have some positive news to report once that's all said and done. By the way....why is LF32 banned? I've only been offline for a few days. Did I miss something?
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  #126  
Old 03-02-2016, 05:15 PM
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Had my motion heard today in hopes of modifying the interim order to allow for unsupervised access, or worst case enforce the supervised access at an exchange centre. I have been trying to get the exchange centre going, but my ex keeps creating delays with the process on her end. This time she made an allegation with FACS...conveniently, as the exchange centre refuses to take clients with any FACS involvement.

The same judge who threatened to take custody away from her 3 months ago refused to do anything until our OCL investigation is completed at the end of April. Not only that, but he clearly didn't read the file, and would not listen to anything my lawyer had to say.

It seriously felt like a bad tv movie where the judge is crooked and taking bribes. He completely ignored the evidence and case history, and made me out to be as bad as my ex. It was the most demoralizing court appearance I've ever had.

I'm basically stuck with intermittent visitation once a week for six hours until May when OCL is wrapped up...all depending on whether I can arrange for a friend to continue doing the exchanges. It still astonishes me that I can do all the right things and be as cooperative as possible, yet still get shafted by the family law system. I want to make a formal complaint against that judge, but I'm not certain whether it will do any good in the long run. It seems like we have no recourse in this system at all. We will definitely make sure the next court appearance is seen under a different judge...perhaps someone more 'honorable'. Pfff.

I'm convinced that even after the conclusion of the OCL investigation, my ex is going to continue to be disruptive in her quest to remove me from our children's lives. I cannot understand why she would not want them to have a father. It's mind boggling.
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  #127  
Old 03-02-2016, 05:21 PM
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I'm sorry for your bad day in court. I sincerely hope things improve and you are able to restore your relationship with the kids. I have no real constructive legal advice. Just try to keep the faith that it will get better.
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  #128  
Old 03-02-2016, 05:25 PM
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Originally Posted by PeacefulMoments View Post
I'm sorry for your bad day in court. I sincerely hope things improve and you are able to restore your relationship with the kids. I have no real constructive legal advice. Just try to keep the faith that it will get better.
I appreciate the kind words. I believe that my lawyer has done an adequate job, and we have followed the legal process properly. It's just a run-in with an incompetent / lazy judge. I'm hopeful that with the conclusion of the OCL report we can have the case heard under someone more effective. I'm just tired.
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  #129  
Old 03-02-2016, 05:33 PM
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Very frustrating for you.

Hope time goes by quickly.
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  #130  
Old 03-03-2016, 09:02 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ninehundredt View Post
Had my motion heard today in hopes of modifying the interim order to allow for unsupervised access, or worst case enforce the supervised access at an exchange centre. I have been trying to get the exchange centre going, but my ex keeps creating delays with the process on her end. This time she made an allegation with FACS...conveniently, as the exchange centre refuses to take clients with any FACS involvement.

The same judge who threatened to take custody away from her 3 months ago refused to do anything until our OCL investigation is completed at the end of April. Not only that, but he clearly didn't read the file, and would not listen to anything my lawyer had to say.

It seriously felt like a bad tv movie where the judge is crooked and taking bribes. He completely ignored the evidence and case history, and made me out to be as bad as my ex. It was the most demoralizing court appearance I've ever had.

I'm basically stuck with intermittent visitation once a week for six hours until May when OCL is wrapped up...all depending on whether I can arrange for a friend to continue doing the exchanges. It still astonishes me that I can do all the right things and be as cooperative as possible, yet still get shafted by the family law system. I want to make a formal complaint against that judge, but I'm not certain whether it will do any good in the long run. It seems like we have no recourse in this system at all. We will definitely make sure the next court appearance is seen under a different judge...perhaps someone more 'honorable'. Pfff.

I'm convinced that even after the conclusion of the OCL investigation, my ex is going to continue to be disruptive in her quest to remove me from our children's lives. I cannot understand why she would not want them to have a father. It's mind boggling.
You're not the only one having hard time with their ex, mine wanted me in prison, completely all the way out from children's life, that far she went. My advice is to don't give up, ultimately this is what they want.

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