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  • Post secondary obligations.

    Just asking for a friend. Child of relationship. Parenting agreement from 16 years ago states very vaguely that each will contribute to their child’s post secondary education. He was contributing and now that she is in year 5 and final for teachers college (she works as well and contributes 1/3) he refuses to now pay. He and his wife have three kids who are all in private school and they make 450k combined as a couple. My friend makes 90k. She is wondering if this is worth a fight or to suck it up? What would a judge likely say? Child has lived with my friend 100% since she was 18 (now 22) and dad doesn’t pay support nor does he pay much attention to her. The cost is about 10k each per parent.

  • #2
    Is the teachers college portion of her education a separate degree or is it part of her undergrad? As in, has she graduated from a program and then continued into another one?

    I ask because if the answer is yes then dad can say its an additional degree that he is not obligated to contribute to. Regardless of how much household income he has, the details in their agreement and the timeline for support do have a minor effect. Plus it is irrelevant if he has no relationship with the kid. It is still his first child and the courts dont like parents who move on and forget first families.

    That said, your friend could file a motion to change on her own and self rep to seek a judge’s decision or input. The motion would be to change the original agreement which did not take into account a degree that went five years instead of three.

    Her first step would be to send him an email outlining that the degree is not finished and he has an obligation to support his child including monthly child support while she is living at home. She can share with him what the estimated cost is for him. She can also note that she is willing to discuss but will seek the courts input if necessary.

    More than likely he will say no or ignore her. Keep that email.

    She should then do a calculation of everything. First is support. If kid is living at home she is entitled to full table support. The second calculation is the school expense. That is normally calculated as total cost less any grants, scholarships and/or awards. From there, kid takes 1/3 and parents split the NET cost (less tax deduction) proportionate to income. His actual income is what you use.

    She would put all these calculations plus receipts/proof of awards with the filing a d submit it.

    Expect that he will balk at it. As long as your friend goes only for what kid is entitled to and makes an offer to settle there is little he can avoid.

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    • #3
      Yes, it’s teachers college so she has finished her undergrad. That is his argument but the parenting agreement is vague and just says “post secondary”. He hasn’t paid any support of any kind due to the fact my friend was being nice and since he was contributing to school the fight wasn’t worth it. She only has one child and makes a decent salary but now she can’t afford to cover his portion and her daughter can only contribute so much as well. It’s the principal of it all. They agreed to put their daughter through school. This teachers college isn’t a surprise. He has always known. Just a cheap tightwad. His new wife won’t even let the daughter visit for absolutely no reason other than it was his life before her. Looks like a match made in heaven. Anyway. Thanks for the reply.

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      • #4
        His argument is right. Your friend should not have been nice. For those reading this thread, do not give up cs to be nice. CS and school expenses are BOTH obligation on the paying parent. Even if you think you don’t need cs, put it in an account for any possible future school expenses.

        In this case, kid can get a loan as well. Why anyone goes into teaching now is ridiculous. There are so many teachers in the system waiting for retirements that the jobs are scarce.

        As for your friend’s ex, he will regret it one day. Even the hardest hearts and stubborn attitudes come back to bite you in the future. Hes a sad example.

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