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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 08-06-2010, 02:53 PM
VanDerWal VanDerWal is offline
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Default Separation Agreement? Divorce? Mediation?

Hello all,

I am new here, so not entirely savvy with this system but here is my predicament: My ex-husband and I were married in 2004, we separated and I moved out in 2006. We have a 5 year old. We have always had an amicable relationship, no divorce, no separation agreement, just a friendly verbal agreement.

We were married in Ontario, but lived in Quebec at the time of separation. He still lives in the house. I haven't requested or taken any money from him as we share our child 50/50.

I found out today that his new girlfriend is pregnant. I'd like to know what my rights are as a parent, and if we can go to mediation in Quebec or if I should hire a lawyer in Ontario. (As I mentioned, he lives in Quebec, I live in Ottawa). I don't want my daughter to miss out on any extra-curricular activities and I don't think I should have to foot a bill for her clothing, school supplies etc. I should also mention that he makes 100k per year, I make 35k.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Old 08-06-2010, 03:55 PM
epinecone epinecone is offline
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Default The Plan..

What exactly are you planning?

It sounds like the two of you and your daughter have it pretty good. She gets to see Mom and Dad, and Dad has even moved forward with his life and has a girlfriend and is going to have a baby.

You have'nt wasted your childrens future paying lawyers to find things to fight about.

You must be an honorable woman because your not using your Divorce Act "Entitlements" to rob from your daughter and her father.

Many people would be jealous of your life right now.

When the new baby comes, it will be family to your daughter... That is the world we live in now.. 53% of marriages ending in divorce = alot of blended families.

Are you really worried about having to pay for school supplies? your daughter missing some extracurricular's? or is it something more.
Old 08-06-2010, 04:03 PM
billiechic billiechic is offline
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A new child should not reduce what he contributes towards your daughter. Realistically, it could, but his income is relatively high and he should have been paying a significant amount using the offset method all along.

Good for you both for not making this about money and working together to co-parent. However, financially you have been carrying a much bigger burden and it IS fair that you ask that he at least continue the same financial commitment he has been contributing.

I would go further to ask that he at least set up an RESP or some way of saving money for his daughter's future. While you may not "need" or "want" the CS, it is money that the courts believe is your child's right. It could really help her out as an adult.
Old 08-06-2010, 04:13 PM
epinecone epinecone is offline
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Default Well Put..

Well Put billiechic,

I read your post and then re-read it.. I think your advice is very sound.
Old 08-06-2010, 04:40 PM
dinkyface dinkyface is offline
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Not sure exactly what your concerns are, could you maybe list some specific fears?

I'm not clear if your ex is paying for any extracurriculars, but from your stated concern I'd guess that he is contributing.

Currently he has it really good, relative to what the support guidelines say he should be paying. So, he'd be pretty stupid to rock the boat and start skimping on what he IS paying. Also, he has absolutely no legal rights to do that anyway (new baby does not impact his duties to support his first daughter, either via what he pays himself for clothing etc, or via what he pays to you for extra expenses).

You are still legally married? It sounds like HE may be the one who is motivated to make the divorce final. Which puts him in the 'asking' chair, which again is good for you.
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