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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 09-30-2013, 01:50 PM
bramptondad bramptondad is offline
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Default 50 50?

how hard is it to obtain 50 50 residence when you never lived with the mother and you do not get along that well with her. does it really matter in court about status quo or that she is the primary caregiver since the start. my family says i can get it but they could be being bias. i need some unbiased opinions. is it something that i have to work towards. i just do not want to waste a lot of money for something that is unlikely to happen. also i think she will go for sole custody. is that even an option for her?
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Old 09-30-2013, 02:50 PM
FB_ FB_ is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bramptondad View Post
how hard is it to obtain 50 50 residence when you never lived with the mother and you do not get along that well with her. does it really matter in court about status quo or that she is the primary caregiver since the start. my family says i can get it but they could be being bias. i need some unbiased opinions. is it something that i have to work towards. i just do not want to waste a lot of money for something that is unlikely to happen. also i think she will go for sole custody. is that even an option for her?
Its certainly possible, but I would expect if you presented it as a slow progression say over a couple of months you might have a better chance.

I am in Brampton and my lawyer told me flat out at the beginning. It all depends on the judge you get. Some will not do it no matter what others are pro shared. So yes you could spend a ton of time and money and still lose. For me that wasn't really a choice. As their father my children deserved to have me in their lives as much as possible. I fought and my ex settled before court.

What is your current access?

Sole custody is hard to get because you have a right to make decisions over your child's life.
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Old 09-30-2013, 06:07 PM
moonlight moonlight is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bramptondad View Post
how hard is it to obtain 50 50 residence when you never lived with the mother and you do not get along that well with her. does it really matter in court about status quo or that she is the primary caregiver since the start. my family says i can get it but they could be being bias. i need some unbiased opinions. is it something that i have to work towards. i just do not want to waste a lot of money for something that is unlikely to happen. also i think she will go for sole custody. is that even an option for her?
If we know more about your current situation , would be much more easier to know what to respond. Some more info needed. What is current status?
What access do you have now? How many children? Their age? How long current access was established? etc.

In any way , it's also depends on Mother, her actions etc. There is lots of cases ,where this possible. In now days 50/50 residence and shared custody is LAW!!!. If you smart and passionate enough, you would get it implemented with time. If she is applying for sole, she should prove that you unfit parent, and this is hard to do!!!!. Judges do not like when someone accuse someone to be unfit and can not prove this. They might even order sole to other parent YOU. So let her do it.

My advice to you go slowly, be reasonable, confident and have solid prove. DO NOT accuse someone without prove, you will look bad in court for that. Keep anger out as much as possible. Fight as this your kid/kids fighting for their right.... YOU WILL GET IT.


good luck
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Old 09-30-2013, 06:14 PM
Pursuinghappiness Pursuinghappiness is offline
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Quote:
Fight as this your kid/kids fighting for their right.... YOU WILL GET IT.
Totally agree with Moonlight's excellent post, especially this part.

Good luck...its always worth the fight to have a chance to have equal access to your child.
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Old 10-01-2013, 12:53 AM
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Gordy Gordy is offline
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What's your status at the moment?

Sole custody is tough to get in Ontario, the bar for this is set extremely high. Which province are you in?
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Old 10-01-2013, 01:13 AM
pokeman pokeman is offline
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bramptondad

here is what I witnessed

your wife / girlfriend whatever can beat you and beat your children till they bleed from the mouth and 80% of time the court will be sympathetic too her and she could very well got custody

there is a reason for that but that will be separate post coming soon

from what I have seen even if she is a lunatic , totally unsafe - drunk lying on the couch while 4 yr old roams the neighborhood and police come by not once but twice looking for child you might get a 50/50

going for sole custody is suicide in todays courtroom for a man unless your brother is your lawyer - if she tries to save her children she is a martar - you - if you try your an asshole

if the kids run away from her that's unfortunately how you get sole custody

look up and down your street , look at your family , who has the children, and who fight$ for them ... and consider your chances my friend
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Old 10-01-2013, 06:36 AM
knackered knackered is offline
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I've always been told by my lawyer, other people who have had custody cases that Status Quo is EVERYTHING.

I had been laid off from my job/on EI before separation. So I was at home with our children/primary care giver. Ex had said she wanted to return to work early from Mat. leave/have me stay home with the kids when I got laid off. Plan was that I'd find employment again once my E1 was close to running out.

Then we ended up agreeing to separate. Ex and I were in an argument one day. Ex got on the phone to her Mom. Next thing the police are at our door. Ex's Mom had phoned them, saying I threatened ex's life. (NEVER HAPPENED) Police removed me from the house.
Charges were eventually dropped against me in court over this incident.

But lawyer told me I had no chance of getting 50/50 as ex simply had Status Quo....even though she got it based on manipulation/deceit of the system....as I had been the Primary Parent up to that point!
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Old 10-01-2013, 06:38 AM
knackered knackered is offline
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Are you paying guideline child support/extraordinary expenses Bramptondad?

How do you afford all the legal bills/court fees involved in fighting for 50/50 on top of already paying guideline childsupport/extraordinary expenses?
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Old 10-01-2013, 08:26 AM
Qrious Qrious is offline
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OMG. Who let the trolls out last night?
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Old 10-01-2013, 08:28 AM
Canadaguy Canadaguy is offline
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It is like chess...you can still win and get 50/50 but you are playing without your best piece, the queen. It is an uphill battle but if you are focused, determined and methotical you can achieve 50/50. Start another thread with your situation and others will advise what steps to take to achieve 50/50.
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