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  • #61
    I wouldn’t settle for anything less than your current parenting time. I am awaiting a crazy message from my ex, couched in passive-aggressive tone about how what she thinks is BOC, and I’ll respond that we should follow our agreement. Any excuse to try to cut access eh?

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    • #62
      Originally posted by cranberry View Post
      I just asked for face time, which he agreed to. He then went on and on that everyone is healthy, going outside for walks/bike riding/playing at the school. He and his wife have quaratined themselves for 17 days. He continues to lay this at their feet, that they don't want to come home.

      What do I do? Do I bombard him with bring them home now messages? Send a message once a week? I am truly at a loss here. I don't want to cause further problems between us but at the same time, if everyone is healthy and going outside, why not bring them home? My plan is to wait for announcements on continued school closures. By then, three weeks will have passed. If everyone is the same by then, there's really no reason not to bring them home. Should I just wait until then?

      Feeling helpless
      How old are the children?
      What exactly does your separation agreement or order say about
      1) custody
      2) major decision making
      3) access (residency).
      Communicate this clearly to your ex that you require compliance with the agreement or order and quote those terms.
      Ask for a written response.
      Document every single word.
      Get emails for every single exchange of communication.
      Then inform them that you will be filing a motion to change custody in light of refusal to comply and contentious communication.
      Prepare your affidavit and exhibits (all those emails that were ignored, refused etc)
      Buy a lottery ticket for good luck

      Comment


      • #63
        Lottery ticket - lol you made me giggle! Needed that.

        Our boys are 11, twins. We parallel parent, with school and health inder my care. The schedule is with me Monday - Friday; every weekend for him.

        He is an extremely high conflict ex; can you tell? I live in a world of attempting to co-parent with someone who belives rules do not apply to him, so I must tread carefully. Hence my asking how often should I send a message that they are to be brought home. Our boys are on the cusp becoming teenagers. While they are still to young to be making decisions, we are close to this being able to be factored in.

        I really don't care about make up time. That's a fight I can do without, though am tossing around "taking" some of his time during the summer. But its just a thought.

        Right now I just want them home, with a reasonable access schedule in place for the duration of this crisis.

        Comment


        • #64
          Originally posted by cranberry View Post
          Lottery ticket - lol you made me giggle! Needed that.

          Our boys are 11, twins. We parallel parent, with school and health inder my care. The schedule is with me Monday - Friday; every weekend for him.

          He is an extremely high conflict ex; can you tell? I live in a world of attempting to co-parent with someone who belives rules do not apply to him, so I must tread carefully. Hence my asking how often should I send a message that they are to be brought home. Our boys are on the cusp becoming teenagers. While they are still to young to be making decisions, we are close to this being able to be factored in.

          I really don't care about make up time. That's a fight I can do without, though am tossing around "taking" some of his time during the summer. But its just a thought.

          Right now I just want them home, with a reasonable access schedule in place for the duration of this crisis.
          Do you have a legal separation agreement? If yes take it to the court and have it filed with the court. Then file a motion for enforcement.

          Or better a court order that defines your parallel parenting, residency times etc?
          If yes then wave that at the ex now and file a motion for enforcement.

          Communicate daily by email (others correct) me in a very polite and firm way that states you require the agreement or order to be respected at all times.

          Document every word and note where no reply was given

          Take detailed notes of all conversations. Much better by email.

          Take screen shots of al texts

          Comment


          • #65
            We could be in limbo right now, I am not sure.

            We changed custody from sole (me) to parallel parenting at the end of September. This arrangement is sitting in Minutes of Settlement limbo because he keeps refusing to sign off on them. So no court order.

            But, we have the parenting agreement, signed in October 2014 to fall back on. This agreement had access for him: week 1 Tues, Thurs overnight, my weekend. Week 2 is Tues overnight, his weekend. Is this still active because the MOS have not been turned into a court order? I would think so.

            We use Our Family Wizard, so everything is well documented. We are not allowed to text or use regular email unless it is an emergency. I have instructed my lawyer to have emergency motion documents ready and signed for when the courts reopen.

            I guess what your saying is to send frequent bring them home messages, referring to the MOS or parenting agreement only, and keeping it clean. I always follow the rule of 24 before responding to keep feelings out of our communication.

            I just want to say thank you. Your responses have helped me to remain positive and on the right track. I am frazzled and extremely sad but keeping a stiff upper lip. Gloves handy to throw done when required.

            Comment


            • #66
              Originally posted by cranberry View Post
              We could be in limbo right now, I am not sure.

              We changed custody from sole (me) to parallel parenting at the end of September. This arrangement is sitting in Minutes of Settlement limbo because he keeps refusing to sign off on them. So no court order.

              But, we have the parenting agreement, signed in October 2014 to fall back on. This agreement had access for him: week 1 Tues, Thurs overnight, my weekend. Week 2 is Tues overnight, his weekend. Is this still active because the MOS have not been turned into a court order? I would think so.

              We use Our Family Wizard, so everything is well documented. We are not allowed to text or use regular email unless it is an emergency. I have instructed my lawyer to have emergency motion documents ready and signed for when the courts reopen.

              I guess what your saying is to send frequent bring them home messages, referring to the MOS or parenting agreement only, and keeping it clean. I always follow the rule of 24 before responding to keep feelings out of our communication.

              I just want to say thank you. Your responses have helped me to remain positive and on the right track. I am frazzled and extremely sad but keeping a stiff upper lip. Gloves handy to throw done when required.
              MOS are not in effect if not signed, sealed and delivered.

              Parenting agreement is a legal separation agreement? If yes take it to get it filed with the court. Then file the MOS later. The separation agreement is in force (in my opinion). Inform the ex that you assert that it is in full force adn that you are willing to a temporary change only until either 1) MOS signed adn respected 2) public emergency has been cancelled.

              BIFF Brief, Informative (factual), Firm, Friendly. No emotion. No accusations. No falsehoods.

              Be prepared to follow through with a motion to have the parenting plan enforced.

              Consider a motion to change to sole custody since a material change in circumstances due to ex's refusal to communicate in the best interests of the children.

              There is absolutely NO justification in the current pandemic directives that would grant any unilateral decision making power to your ex. Tell them that. BIFF.

              And you are welcome. this forum has been invaluable to me. Pay it forward.

              Comment


              • #67
                I'm dealing with the same issue.. Ex denied me access indefinitely. Need help filing emergency motion.

                Is it 14D form Order on motion without notice that I need to file? Little confused because it ask past tense questions

                Also should I file Form 31: Notice of Contempt Motion?

                Comment


                • #68
                  Originally posted by MjD View Post
                  I'm dealing with the same issue.. Ex denied me access indefinitely. Need help filing emergency motion.

                  Is it 14D form Order on motion without notice that I need to file? Little confused because it ask past tense questions

                  Also should I file Form 31: Notice of Contempt Motion?

                  The courts are closed or operating on limited schedules. Can you not just wait it out or ask her if you can come over and take them for a walk?

                  Comment


                  • #69
                    Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                    The courts are closed or operating on limited schedules. Can you not just wait it out or ask her if you can come over and take them for a walk?
                    At this point there is no reasoning with her. She denied my access back in October because 2 hr notice wasn't sufficient enough that I was picking up the children. She simply made other plans. Convenient excuse to justify access denial. Police report was filed.

                    This time around another police report was filed and when meeting with the officer she totally agrees that my ex wife is being unreasonable. Access has been suspended indefinitely with makeup time.. I highly bet she would give me 6 months of makeup if that's what it entails.

                    Yes courts are still open on limited basis. Case would be heard over the phone. I'm done with being at her mercy. I need to file emergency motion.. If request the order be in place if acces is denied police are abligted to pickup the childen from non corrupting parent.

                    Could you please tell me what documents need to be filed with the court?

                    Comment


                    • #70
                      I feel your pain and anger. My ex is still refusing to bring our boys home. In his infinite wisdom he's sent me emails patting himself on the back for being such a stellar parent during this crisis...ugh!

                      I have no idea which forms you need to use. Maybe search for "Emergency Motion" and see what that brings up. My lawyer has confirmed she will prepare these documents next week, hoping we will know more information regarding continued school and court closures by then. Thankfully you were able to file a police report. The officer I spoke with said he could not take one.

                      Unfortunately, as far as my investigating has produced, you and I are stuck twiddling our thumbs until courts reopen. I hope at the very least, you can call your children regularly like I am. We are also going to face time.

                      Stay strong!

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                      • #71
                        Does this help? Click on Moving Party, it has the forms listed.


                        https://familycourt.cleo.on.ca/en/ap...without-notice

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                        • #72
                          I spoke to register's office. Form 14b needs to be emailed to coordinates office specifying emergency.. Hope that helps Rockscan

                          http://ontariocourtforms.on.ca/stati.../flr-14b-e.pdf

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                          • #73
                            I can't wait until this passes. Everyone is acting bat-$hit crazy in regards to COVID-19. It'll be nice to return to the normal level of bat-$hit crazy that comes with separated parenting.


                            I also got the panicky messages from the other parent, about how it might be better for child to stay with only one parent. Apparently they can be trusted to self-isolate properly, but I'm probably running around town, and having social parties. Needless to say, I'm showing up and picking up child.

                            Oh yeah, and they are more panicky now, because they watched "a movie" about a virus. Yep, let's let Hollywood fiction dictate how we conduct ourselves in situations like this. When parents act like children...
                            Last edited by dad2bandm; 03-23-2020, 01:21 PM.

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                            • #74
                              Originally posted by dad2bandm View Post
                              I also got the panicky messages from the other parent, about how it might be better for child to stay with only one parent.
                              After you pick up the kid, send a message saying that, while you do not believe it is necessary, you are willing to keep the kid 100% of the time until the pandemic is over.

                              Keep her response for when she next suggests that she keeps the kid.

                              Comment


                              • #75
                                Originally posted by Janus View Post
                                After you pick up the kid, send a message saying that, while you do not believe it is necessary, you are willing to keep the kid 100% of the time until the pandemic is over.

                                Keep her response for when she next suggests that she keeps the kid.
                                Perfect. Almost exactly what I did. Conflict ended right there.

                                Comment

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