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can anyone help me with questions on common law

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  • can anyone help me with questions on common law

    I have been in a common law relationship for the past 6 years and its been over for along time and I have asked her to leave but she won't. I have found someone else but that is not why I want her gone, I haven't been happy for along time and I just want to move on with my life. We don't have children together but she has 2 children from different fathers . I purchased my house about 22 years ago and she has not contributed to anything other then the hydro and cable bill. She has a good paying job and actually makes more money then me but she is getting greedy and says she isn't leaving without taking half of my house. I have worked very hard for what I have and I don't want her having it. I offered her $20,000 plus my car that she drives and she thinks she should have more. I have been to a lawyer but I didn't find him very helpful and I could reallly use some other help without paying a ton of money on legal costs does anyone have answers for me.

  • #2
    Laws vary from province to province. If you are in Ontario, in a common law situation she has absolutely zero claim to your house.

    DO NOT offer her $20,000 and the car. You do not owe her a single penny.

    The only family law issue in Ontario for common law couples is spousal support. She earns more than you so this not an issue whatsoever.

    In some cases if you have been raising the children together she may seek child support even if they are not your children. This is not automatic, she has to prove in court that you acted as a parent and were supporting them. If she was buying their clothes, paying for school activities and sports, taking them to the doctor, making all medical decisions, etc etc then she cannot prove that you acted as a parent and guardian. She would have to prove this FIRST, then she could talk about support, it is not automatic.

    If I were you I would not mention support at all, period, don't put ideas into anyone's head.

    You need to assert yourself, this isn't personal advice, it is what you need to do to establish your legal postition.
    • make sure any joint bank accounts and credit cards or lines of credit are frozen or closed immediately. Do it yesterday, you WILL get screwed over if you leave these open.
    • inform her by letter, registered mail, with a copy via email (email is a good form to use for court evidence, it has a date and time and shows that it came from you and went to her, it is as good as a registered letter) that you are considering your relationship ended and she is to vacate the home within 30 days.
    • Add to the letter that if she requires more time to move, you will listen to a reasonable request as long as it has a clear moving date; it is a clear statement (if you have to go to court later) that you gave her notice of eviction, that you were prepared to be reasonable and negotiate and that nothing was unclear to her about the situation
    • Later if you have to get an eviction and use the Sherriff, you may have to end up giving her more than 30 days, or perhaps not, but be assertive now and make sure she knows she is on the way out
    • IN A SEPARATE LETTER (registered and with a copy via email) state that she has no legal claim to the vehicle, you are taking her off of the insurance and reposessing it. You require the keys to be returned immediately and if she continues to use the vehicle you will report it to the police and insurance as being stolen.
    • You state that under the Ontario Family Law Act you do not owe her any money or property as a former common law spouse.
    • You may physically remove any of her personal items from your bedroom and move them to the basement or a spare room. You may not remove her property from the home unless you get an eviction notice
    Be careful about the type of lawyer you see, many storefront lawyers who are general practitioners have no idea about how to handle a separation. Right now I do not think you necessarily need a divorce lawyer/family law specialist, you don't owe her anything and just need her gone. You do need to speak to a civil lawyer with experience in evictions for at least a consulation and to clarify the processes I've mentioned here.

    She does not have any claim to the car or property, she has only the rights of a tenant, except she hasn't paid any rent. Right now she is just a bad room mate, you have to approach the situation from that direction.

    If she tries to make a family law claim against your property or for support, then that is the time to see an experienced divorce lawyer. Don't waste your money on it just yet.

    Comment


    • #3
      WoodPecker, please take this advice from Mess, and take please it seriously.

      On many occasions, when I see Mess’ replies to others’ problems, including a few of mine, I had wanted to drop a few lines. Like many other posters on this forum, most of the time I just come here to get information or seek advice and I rarely post comments. Now I feel compelled that I must post something! Most of the time, I just feel that Mess’ answer just IS the answer.

      I’m at my very early 40s, do a so-called professional job. At my age I don’t think I would easily admire - well, this might be a big word - anyone, in particularly on the web, but I have always appreciated the replies that Mess posts. They are always very detailed, concrete, and to the point. I even wondered at one point that he must have had some law background himself! Or he must have read or have done huge amount of legal research and case law readings. Otherwise how could he know those complicated legal and court formalities and processes? But anyway, the efforts that he has put in to help out others have really shined.

      So Mess, Than you.

      P.S.: If you ever need a ride, I have a 1998 Nissan Maxima, approaching 220K. Or maybe I can borrow the brand new Ford from my STBX if she allows me.

      Comment


      • #4
        Mess
        thank you very much for your advice I really appreciate it. There might be a light at the end of the tunnel after all.

        Comment


        • #5
          Thanks for the thanks. I don't have a legal education but I'm back in school now and persuing one.

          I learned what I learned the same way many people here did, because I had to fight my own ex and deal with lawyers who were wasting my time and money.

          Helping people here helps me deal with my own thoughts and emotions about my divorce, it is a pleasure. Usually.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Mess View Post
            Thanks for the thanks. I don't have a legal education but I'm back in school now and persuing one.

            I learned what I learned the same way many people here did, because I had to fight my own ex and deal with lawyers who were wasting my time and money.

            Helping people here helps me deal with my own thoughts and emotions about my divorce, it is a pleasure. Usually.
            Are you working towards a Law degree?

            Comment


            • #7
              Hi Mess

              Just wondering if you can help me out again with information on what all I should state in the email that you suggest I do and I am going to do it. Should I just make it short and tell her the relationship is over and she has 30 days to leave like you say or is there anything else that is important to state. Thank you again

              Comment

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