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Ex's says Mom denying access? FALSE ACCUSATION

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  • Ex's says Mom denying access? FALSE ACCUSATION

    Ex didn't start visitation until my child was 4 years of age.

    He started gradually coming to see her after school once every week or/and every two weeks for an hours. This was continuing up until 2 years ago.

    Child now almost 12 years of age.

    Meanwhile her growth age 4 and 2 years ago grandparents from fathers' side took upon Dad's responsibility and we had agreed every second weekend visit and half holidays (often less).

    I have final custody, father had reasonable access on reasonable notice.

    Child last visit to the grandparents house where Dad resides (yes he lives with his parents and he is almost 45), child indicated that no longer wants to go visit. Child was scared and extremely quite. Took her to therapy, took the case to court ask for OCL to be involved (bad mistake)

    Child had to be taken to police to file a report as child stated grandparents had threatened her and Mom (myself ) to be hurt with a sword.
    Child also stated to therapist and OCL that over heard that Grandparents always talk extremely bad about Mom and want her Dead.

    Long story short.. was offered dad to works this out, however there was another story to this... Dad failed to provide Mom with tax returns over the years and didn't wish to pay the right amount of child support, even when asked year after to year for tax returns, he had declined. Mom became tired of asking and took him to court and Fro, dad the same time filed for shared access thinking if he gets it, won't have to pay child support.

    Child refuses to go with Father or talking to him over the phone as each and every time father took her out he had arranged the grandparents to be present somehow which the child fears!!!
    Child doesn't trust Father.

    Father asked to see the child every second weekend, however he is only off one weekend a month..he didn't show not one weekend..using the excuse that I don't let the child go with him...
    He came here once and child refused to go with him (weekday visit) .

    Since OCL report which was more directed towards Mom in a bad way, which Mom will fight !!! (As OCL is more interested on Mom's past 20 and 10 years ago and made decision of what Father and his parents had to say about me than professionals)...

    Father and Mom agreed to meet at a mutual place to exchange child for a visit. Child called father day before and told him don't want to see him. Father without noticing mom didn't show up at meeting place. Later he had written a letter to mom to we should cancel meeting like this until he will undergo therapy session with child.

    Child refuses to go to therapy with him as states not ready as yet.

    Mom does asks ccidl to call dad back each and every time Father calls, she does but only for a minute.
    Father talk to child about court related issues, OCL and Family wizard..etc.

    Child simply don't want to see him and Mom wish this would be different and working with her at therapy sessions. ...
    However, father still claims that Mom alienating child.

  • #2
    Document everything, you will need it. Try to keep the children out of all of it as much as you can.

    Anyone can claim anything, false accusations in family law are very common.

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    • #3
      Ex's says Mom denying access? FALSE ACCUSATION

      Your child is 12. Thats an old enough age to say to them a) their grandparents are saying these things to get a reaction and its not true and b) she can say back to them “hurting someone I love hurts me, why do you want to hurt me?” Or even “how would you feel if mom said that about dad?” She can stand up for herself to them.

      The reason I say this is because you arent looking like you are facilitating and encouraging access with the childs father. Kids hear and say different things. If they said this to her before, it could have been when she was younger and misinterpreted it.

      Added to that, your judgement of the fathers living situation makes me question what you light be saying or implying to the child about the grandparents and she is inferring that feeling in what they actually say.

      Keep documentation of when you told the ex (put it in writing) that you are uncomfortable with what the child is saying about her time spent with him and his parents.

      Stopping her from going is a bad thing. Continue to encourage her and remind her the grandparents may not mean what they say. Its still wrong to joke but she is old enough now to tell them its inappropriate.

      ETA: what did OCL say that was so bad that you dont agree with?
      Last edited by rockscan; 04-13-2018, 01:30 PM.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by rockscan View Post
        ... she can say back to them “hurting someone I love hurts me, why do you want to hurt me?” ... She can stand up for herself to them.
        That is a good strategy, I like it. I will teach that to both my S12 and D11, as it's a great way to stop a hurtful conversation without offending the EX.

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        • #5
          Wanted to thank you for you reply. Father give up full access didn't even came around when the Judge requested him to...and Grandfather was arrested and charged. It was a scary situation!

          Comment

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