Unbelievable.... I nearly threw up!!!

[paco]

lol SOS...you're right.

This is the rant of people who have control issues to the point where they lose focus of their own children.

It looks like you got out of control, speak for yourself!

Sent from my SGH-I717D using Tapatalk

[Rioe]

You know where the accountability is going to be? It's going to be from the kids when they are grown.

If the custodial parent did their best to do a good job raising the kids, with their own money and CS they receive being fairly distributed for the household's needs, sacrificing their own needs so the children didn't go without, the kids will grow up to appreciate that eventually.

The parent who spends the CS selfishly, on taking exotic vacations without the children, having the best clothes and Coach purses (I don't know purses, for some reason I picture a purse shaped like a bus - how is that a thing?) and driving a fancy car while the kids wear hand-me-down clothes, get told their other parent doesn't pay CS, are driven around in an old beater and grow up seeing their custodial parent spending frivolously on everything but them, those are the children who will be distant and resentful towards that parent as adults.

You are not responsible for how your ex parents, which is part and parcel of how they spend their money from any source, including CS. The way to fight this is not to have some sort of accountability system, it's to use what access you have to demonstrate good money management and to provide well for the kids' needs when they are with you.

Having 50-50 custody with the accompanying offset CS goes a long way to minimizing the bitterness of disliking the ex's spending habits. Fighting for equal parenting is a far more productive use of your time than moaning about lack of accountability for CS spending.

[Links17]

-It appears there are some states in the US that allow for accountability so it isn't a crazy idea. http://www.childsupportguidelines.co...art200004.html
-I love your super zen approach RIOE but kids shouldn't have to suffer for 15 years because there are no legal tools to deal with it, right?
-You are right about not caring how my ex parents (even that has limits) but when you are stealing money from me to give to her I'd like a say or information at least.
_____________________________

I don't think any fair person can say there should never be any accountability.

_____________________________
I will give an EXCELLENT example of how CS can be misused.

My whore ex (yes I said whore) goes and meets soulmate #622 and decides to have 2 kids with him (he is a drug addict deadbeat and hits up his mom for 20$ to buy crack) - surprise surprise deadbeat drug addict runs away......

Now my ex has 4 kids and since she is a loser and refuses to work she gets welfare (which i think gets canx by CS) + my 2500$ child support. What are the chances that the other 2 bastard children aren't going to be paid for with my CS money that was for my kids?

(I hope you all appreciate the colorful words)

_________________________________

In my case the judge gave me 39% custody SPECIFICALLY because even though I had a normal job (9-5) which my boss let me modify to a 10-3 schedule when I'd have custody the judge gave my ex custody because she was unemployed (admitted she never looked for a job) and my suspicion is he did it so she would get the full CS money and govt benefits.
I had a perfect file to get joint but I was dinged for being employed.

[paco]

You know where the accountability is going to be? It's going to be from the kids when they are grown.

If the custodial parent did their best to do a good job raising the kids, with their own money and CS they receive being fairly distributed for the household's needs, sacrificing their own needs so the children didn't go without, the kids will grow up to appreciate that eventually.

The parent who spends the CS selfishly, on taking exotic vacations without the children, having the best clothes and Coach purses (I don't know purses, for some reason I picture a purse shaped like a bus - how is that a thing?) and driving a fancy car while the kids wear hand-me-down clothes, get told their other parent doesn't pay CS, are driven around in an old beater and grow up seeing their custodial parent spending frivolously on everything but them, those are the children who will be distant and resentful towards that parent as adults.

You are not responsible for how your ex parents, which is part and parcel of how they spend their money from any source, including CS. The way to fight this is not to have some sort of accountability system, it's to use what access you have to demonstrate good money management and to provide well for the kids' needs when they are with you.

Having 50-50 custody with the accompanying offset CS goes a long way to minimizing the bitterness of disliking the ex's spending habits. Fighting for equal parenting is a far more productive use of your time than moaning about lack of accountability for CS spending.

Ahaaa, right to the point, how many parents these days sacrifice themselves for their kids, how many???? How many put money aside for their future education??? It's all about how you raise your kids, nothings else matters, if you're selfish they'll be one like you some day.
Equal parenting is the answer and it's in their best interest, for kids. Hopefully someday judicial system will change and their vision too.

Sent from my SGH-I717D using Tapatalk

[paco]

Rioe, A+++ for your excellent comment!

Sent from my SGH-I717D using Tapatalk

[Concerned]

There are some men (and probably women) that try to control their wives during marriage to an extreme extent. Those spouses eventually wake up and realize they don't have to tolerate it. They get divorced and find a better quality of man.

Its called having discipline with money. When one partner doesn't understand that the revenues need to exceed the expenses, then "control" is required. That's how relationships survive.

The control-freak turns into a bitter, raging, women-hating nutbag.

They want to punish the ex-wife more than they want anything else in life.

The idea that she's happy and getting CS to take care of the kids is unbearable to them.

Luckily, no one cares. The ex wife has moved on to freedom and happiness either single or with a better guy and the court system forces him to support the children. All they're left with is the seething rage and frustration over their lack of being able to punish their ex for leaving them.

No one here is turning into a women-hating nutbag. We are talking numbers and perhaps numbers are getting you pissed off. Don't be, instead listen to what I tell you and what others are telling you.

It's not about rage and frustration, its about the distribution of hard earned money! In life, (the heck with all these divorce laws for a second) we all earn money and share *ALL* of it with our close ones. Now if you want zambo's dick up youe arse while still receiving *ALL* the money your ex can provide while he's struggling because of you, well then (hope you realize) there's a problem there !

Its not surprising that the OP thinks its a conspiracy...it fits the mentality. Men like this are so angry and bitter, they have a hard time moving on and they can't understand why everyone else isn't as infuriated as they are. They just don't get it. Again, luckily its irrelevant. The system exists to protect children from fathers like this who wouldn't support them at all if they had a choice.

Let me re-assure that the OP, has made many gold digging women (perhaps like yourself) cry because I did not want to pursue any serious relationship. The OP here, is single, wealthy and has no kids BY CHOICE! So you know I really don't have a problem moving on and did so a very long time ago without having some women bleed me dry.

You don't know if its a conspiracy or reality, no one really knows, and women like you, really don't want to find out either because you are very comfortable with the currently privileged system that is in place .

The system exists to feed the custodial parent AND the kids because mom doesn't wanna work. And stop putting words in my mouth, ... I never said that men should not support their kids at all. Don't write down whatever you feel like writing especially when its wrong.

[Concerned]

I can't even believe this thread is actually happening...

A few are suggesting vouchers and holding someone accountable. Think of this scenario...

CP is out grocery shopping... they need a loaf of bread, one which both the CP and children will share... who pays for that? Does it come out of CS or the CP's portion? Does she refund herself out of CS half of the cost of the bread because the kids will also eat half?

What about milk? Should she pay $2 and then take $2 from the CS account?

Hydro? Say $150 a month... the kids use the majority of the electronics, watch the most TV, constantly leave the lights on, so should the CP take $100 out of CS to pay for the electricity?

Water bill, the kids like taking baths or long showers, leave the water on when they brush their teeth, in the summer they like to run through the spinkler, who pays the majority of the water bill? Is it 50-50 or should the CS be covering 75% of the water bill?

What's the matter with you? Don't you know how to read, I explained this in my very simplified list of expenses that should be included as a whole item such as food, clothing etc...! Here lets go through it again:

1-N/C parent issues 12 - 700$ redeemable coupons for food
2-N/C parent issues 6 - 100$ redeemable coupons for clothing
3-N/C parent issues 3 - 300$ redeemable coupons for schooling materials/books
4-N/C parent issues 12 - 300$ redeemable coupons for child day care
5-N/C parent issues 12 - 100$ redeemable coupons for Internet and smart phone charges, games etc...
6-N/C parent issues 12 - 100$ redeemable amount on miscellaneous stuff like gas, bus tickets for going out for ice cream and the like .....
7-N/C parent issues 12 - 150$ redeemable amount on miscellaneous utilities for hydro and water bills

Your loaf of bread and milk is in item #1... what is it that you find so astonishing about this. Accountability is very important! The real way that this should be done is having a major credit card company come up with a special credit card that is redeemable everywhere one can shop. For example this card may be labeled as the "Parental support card" (PSC). The governments would calculate the correct amount of " BASIC "living expenses... you hear that dear.... basic, basic, basic so that means no financial support for fancy cars, fancy clothes, trips to the Caribbean, fancy restaurants etc... Just as calculated above this totals to:

$17700/2 = $8850
$737.50 per month

The minimal amount should be $737.50 per month. Then the rest is negotiable... if can be afforded, an extra 200 or 300$ a month can be thrown in by the non custodial spouse making the total to approximately:

$1037.50/month

And suppose we decide to give you a little wiggle room and cap it at say $1200.00/ month.

So there you have it, that would mean that you can run up your PSC card to 1200.00$/month and then whatever goes over that limit falls on your personal credit card.

I don't care if when you were married you had access to fancy restaurants, Louis Viton purses, new shoes every month, hair dues twice a week, luxurious spas ... that's not my problem anymore.... because we are divorced.

What kind of a stuburn, greedy, selfish, lazy ass individual would not get this? Huh? What is it that you don't get that my money is not yours anymore. How do the court systems fail to understand this... These courts filled with educated judges that have gone to university and successfully passed all sorts of academic courses, such as math, physics, phycology and so forth and yet cannot comprehend the unfairness of such a lob sided equitable distribution concept. Oh sure you can argue its all about the children BULL SHIT!

Let me tell you when I was a boy.... do you know what my LONG TIME MARRIED parents gave me ? Much less then 2400.00$ a month of support I tell you that much!!!! Do you know what I used to play with when I was little? Here it is..... "a BIC PEN" Yup!!!, I had enough imagination to pretend that, that pen was a submarine or a hot rod... that was my toys. I was fed, clothed with the minimum clothes, my room was kept to 19Degrees and blankets were provided. Food was on the table and that's it .... By keeping those basic simple things going, my body's biological system was able to grow on its own (Just like all the kids were). I had no trips, I had no brand name jeans or shirts, I had maybe one present at Christmas..., no piano lessons, no judo lessons, no soccer team... if I wanted to run and exercise I would walk to a park and kick a soccer ball around with a few friends that I knew. All to say is that this doing it all for the kids dogma is a big excuse to grant higher child support and thereby milking the non-custodial parent to his maximum.

Now I understand that the custodial parent may have some extra responsibilities since he/she has the child living with them such as, doctor appointments, homework, put up a new bedroom for the child and so forth... but that's why the non custodial parent should be around to help with this stuff. The reason there is all this hatred between the exe's is because the wife gets greedy and wants too much money. If we were able to stick to the fair amount and use a PSC system, you would be in harmonious terms with your ex.

Seriously, none of this makes sense and those who are suggesting that, like HammerDad said, obviously hate their ex more than they love their children. When you were with your ex, if you made $100K and she only made $30K, the kids were accustomed to a standard of living at $130K, why after separation should they have to live in a lower standard of living at Mom's house?

Simple ! because there was a divorce !!!DUH!!! Why should my monetary earning talent keep my divorcing wife living a king/queen's lifestyle. Huh? This is my earning capability and not his/hers. And my earning capability shall not be distributable... especially if he/she initiated the divorce... seriously!! As long as the kid gets his 2400$ (1200 each), he will grow just fine ... like myself and every other kid.

While a couple is married, one gets to live the lifestyle the other can lavishly provide. When divorce arrives, I get out of her life and so should the lifestyle. But noooo judges don't see it that way.... so logical but yet filled with twisted greed. No kickback my ass. Something's not right here.

If you are so concerned about CS, you have your priorities wrong. If you are paying full CS, do something to change it, like focus on spending more time with your kids. Shared custody is become the norm, but only if both parents are capable. If you are a business person that works 70+ hours a week and travels often, where as Mom has a 9-5 job, why would you expect shared custody?

Well then you can't have it both ways.... and the answer to that is YES! And here's why.... I simply wouldn't have to work so many hours if the child support payment was $1200 bux a month now would I?

But nooooooooo, you want that child support payment to be 6K a month which that alone will surely keep me working 70+ a week and make me out to be an unfit custodial parent now would it!

Please.... stop being greedy!!!! I smell that gold digging trait right through my Internet connection here....

It is clear your job does not allow for it and it stands to reason that when you were together, Mom was responsible for the majority of the child care and raising because you were working the 70+ hours and travelling for work.

Yes, mom was home aaaaalllll day in her PJ's cooking and cleaning without any stress from a boss. Now I really don't know how these stay home moms do it?

Let me ask you something stay home mommy! When you pass the vacuum , anyone there to evaluate your work? When you do a load of wash (Twice a week), is there anyone there to tell you that you have put in too much soap or too little soap, when you put the little one to sleep, are you producing enough house work according to a high expected quality ... who assess all this, who looks to see if you have done it right or on time for that matter. Huh.... responsible for the majority of the child care ppppffff!!!! wtf does that mean. If anything, deep down inside you are living the American dream honey!

It always amazes me how people are okay with such an arrangement until separation or divorce happens. It was your own greed for money and making more and more and more that put you in this position. No one actually requires $100K to live on in a year, but it was something you wanted, so while you were doing that to give your family that lifestyle, Mom was raising the kids according to that lifestyle. Maybe start realizing how you played a part in this as well.

Funny how most women will only marry this type of man though!!!!

Give me a break sister!
c

[Janibel]

Its not surprising that the OP thinks its a conspiracy...it fits the mentality. Men like this are so angry and bitter, they have a hard time moving on and they can't understand why everyone else isn't as infuriated as they are. They just don't get it. Again, luckily its irrelevant. The system exists to protect children from fathers like this who wouldn't support them at all if they had a choice.

I stayed in a 27 year marriage (way longer than I should have) why? because I knew what kind of EX my EX would become. Angry, bitter and controlling freak! I kept the lid on things until our son was raised and on his own.

So glad that I never had to deal with Child Support and custody issues - what a nightmare it must be to those battling over this! I figured it would be in my child's best interest to not get divorced while he was young. Whether or not that was a good thing, I can't honestly say ....

There was never any parental alienation on my part whatsoever - the Ex managed that exploit all on his own.

I read these posts from parents with young children (moms or dads) I find them truly heartbreaking ... is it really about the $$$ or is that just a way of expressing your hurt?

[paco]

...pursuinghappiness... for whom?! I'm pretty sure not for your kids, if you got some! What a piece of crap...

Sent from my SGH-I717D using Tapatalk

[paco]

I stayed in a 27 year marriage (way longer than I should have) why? because I knew what kind of EX my EX would become. Angry, bitter and controlling freak! I kept the lid on things until our son was raised and on his own.

So glad that I never had to deal with Child Support and custody issues - what a nightmare it must be to those battling over this! I figured it would be in my child's best interest to not get divorced while he was young. Whether or not that was a good thing, I can't honestly say ....

There was never any parental alienation on my part whatsoever - the Ex managed that exploit all on his own.

I read these posts from parents with young children (moms or dads) I find them truly heartbreaking ... is it really about the $$$ or is that just a way of expressing your hurt?

That's a sacrifice for your child, that's how a parent should look for his/her kids!

Sent from my SGH-I717D using Tapatalk

[Concerned]

is it really about the $$$ or is that just a way of expressing your hurt?

All about the money... its entrapment I say... entrapment!

[Berner_Faith]

What's the matter with you? Don't you know how to read, I explained this in my very simplified list of expenses that should be included as a whole item such as food, clothing etc...! Here lets go through it again:

1-N/C parent issues 12 - 700$ redeemable coupons for food
2-N/C parent issues 6 - 100$ redeemable coupons for clothing
3-N/C parent issues 3 - 300$ redeemable coupons for schooling materials/books
4-N/C parent issues 12 - 300$ redeemable coupons for child day care
5-N/C parent issues 12 - 100$ redeemable coupons for Internet and smart phone charges, games etc...
6-N/C parent issues 12 - 100$ redeemable amount on miscellaneous stuff like gas, bus tickets for going out for ice cream and the like .....
7-N/C parent issues 12 - 150$ redeemable amount on miscellaneous utilities for hydro and water bills

Your loaf of bread and milk is in item #1... what is it that you find so astonishing about this. Accountability is very important! The real way that this should be done is having a major credit card company come up with a special credit card that is redeemable everywhere one can shop. For example this card may be labeled as the "Parental support card" (PSC). The governments would calculate the correct amount of " BASIC "living expenses... you hear that dear.... basic, basic, basic so that means no financial support for fancy cars, fancy clothes, trips to the Caribbean, fancy restaurants etc... Just as calculated above this totals to:

$17700/2 = $8850
$737.50 per month

The minimal amount should be $737.50 per month. Then the rest is negotiable... if can be afforded, an extra 200 or 300$ a month can be thrown in by the non custodial spouse making the total to approximately:

$1037.50/month

And suppose we decide to give you a little wiggle room and cap it at say $1200.00/ month.

So there you have it, that would mean that you can run up your PSC card to 1200.00$/month and then whatever goes over that limit falls on your personal credit card.

I don't care if when you were married you had access to fancy restaurants, Louis Viton purses, new shoes every month, hair dues twice a week, luxurious spas ... that's not my problem anymore.... because we are divorced.

What kind of a stuburn, greedy, selfish, lazy ass individual would not get this? Huh? What is it that you don't get that my money is not yours anymore. How do the court systems fail to understand this... These courts filled with educated judges that have gone to university and successfully passed all sorts of academic courses, such as math, physics, phycology and so forth and yet cannot comprehend the unfairness of such a lob sided equitable distribution concept. Oh sure you can argue its all about the children BULL SHIT!

Let me tell you when I was a boy.... do you know what my LONG TIME MARRIED parents gave me ? Much less then 2400.00$ a month of support I tell you that much!!!! Do you know what I used to play with when I was little? Here it is..... "a BIC PEN" Yup!!!, I had enough imagination to pretend that, that pen was a submarine or a hot rod... that was my toys. I was fed, clothed with the minimum clothes, my room was kept to 19Degrees and blankets were provided. Food was on the table and that's it .... By keeping those basic simple things going, my body's biological system was able to grow on its own (Just like all the kids were). I had no trips, I had no brand name jeans or shirts, I had maybe one present at Christmas..., no piano lessons, no judo lessons, no soccer team... if I wanted to run and exercise I would walk to a park and kick a soccer ball around with a few friends that I knew. All to say is that this doing it all for the kids dogma is a big excuse to grant higher child support and thereby milking the non-custodial parent to his maximum.

Now I understand that the custodial parent may have some extra responsibilities since he/she has the child living with them such as, doctor appointments, homework, put up a new bedroom for the child and so forth... but that's why the non custodial parent should be around to help with this stuff. The reason there is all this hatred between the exe's is because the wife gets greedy and wants too much money. If we were able to stick to the fair amount and use a PSC system, you would be in harmonious terms with your ex.

Simple ! because there was a divorce !!!DUH!!! Why should my monetary earning talent keep my divorcing wife living a king/queen's lifestyle. Huh? This is my earning capability and not his/hers. And my earning capability shall not be distributable... especially if he/she initiated the divorce... seriously!! As long as the kid gets his 2400$ (1200 each), he will grow just fine ... like myself and every other kid.

While a couple is married, one gets to live the lifestyle the other can lavishly provide. When divorce arrives, I get out of her life and so should the lifestyle. But noooo judges don't see it that way.... so logical but yet filled with twisted greed. No kickback my ass. Something's not right here.

Well then you can't have it both ways.... and the answer to that is YES! And here's why.... I simply wouldn't have to work so many hours if the child support payment was $1200 bux a month now would I?

But nooooooooo, you want that child support payment to be 6K a month which that alone will surely keep me working 70+ a week and make me out to be an unfit custodial parent now would it!

Please.... stop being greedy!!!! I smell that gold digging trait right through my Internet connection here....

Yes, mom was home aaaaalllll day in her PJ's cooking and cleaning without any stress from a boss. Now I really don't know how these stay home moms do it?

Let me ask you something stay home mommy! When you pass the vacuum , anyone there to evaluate your work? When you do a load of wash (Twice a week), is there anyone there to tell you that you have put in too much soap or too little soap, when you put the little one to sleep, are you producing enough house work according to a high expected quality ... who assess all this, who looks to see if you have done it right or on time for that matter. Huh.... responsible for the majority of the child care ppppffff!!!! wtf does that mean. If anything, deep down inside you are living the American dream honey!

Funny how most women will only marry this type of man though!!!!

Give me a break sister!
c

Lol you're a joke. For one, I have two step kids, no kids of my own, but my partner pays full CS and for two, I make more than my partner does. That's right, as a FEMALE I am the one who makes the majority of the money. My partner works 9-5 and does the majority of the house work... Why? Because
I work those 70+ hours a weel... Why? Because I want us to have a higher standard of living. I am far from gold digging, if that was the case, I certainly wouldn't be with the one I am.

Edit: what is your solution for parents who can't afford the $700-$1200 a month? Why don't you think your child deserves just as much at Mom's house as at yours?

[paco]

is it really about the $$$ or is that just a way of expressing your hurt?[/QUOTE]

From my point of view and my short experience it wouldn't be any problems if judges realizes the huge impact and importance of equally parenting, this is the main issue here, 50/50 time and decisions makings, unless one is unfit for this.

Sent from my SGH-I717D using Tapatalk

[paco]

Lol you're a joke. For one, I have two step kids, no kids of my own, but my partner pays full CS and for two, I make more than my partner does. That's right, as a FEMALE I am the one who makes the majority of the money. My partner works 9-5 and does the majority of the house work... Why? Because
I work those 70+ hours a weel... Why? Because I want us to have a higher standard of living. I am far from gold digging, if that was the case, I certainly wouldn't be with the one I am.

Edit: what is your solution for parents who can't afford the $700-$1200 a month? Why don't you think your child deserves just as much at Mom's house as at yours?

What makes you think he's a joke?! Why you think you're better than others, because you sacrifice your family time to make more money and your partner is cleaning your stuff, don't judge if u don't know what you're talking! What a puppy.

Sent from my SGH-I717D using Tapatalk

[paco]

Lol you're a joke. For one, I have two step kids, no kids of my own, but my partner pays full CS and for two, I make more than my partner does. That's right, as a FEMALE I am the one who makes the majority of the money. My partner works 9-5 and does the majority of the house work... Why? Because
I work those 70+ hours a weel... Why? Because I want us to have a higher standard of living. I am far from gold digging, if that was the case, I certainly wouldn't be with the one I am.

Edit: what is your solution for parents who can't afford the $700-$1200 a month? Why don't you think your child deserves just as much at Mom's house as at yours?

Really, go have a nap, you can't really see through your numbers....i just can't believe it, what a crap

Sent from my SGH-I717D using Tapatalk