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Common expenses - the kids, work and school

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  • Common expenses - the kids, work and school

    In the past I have posted trying to get a handle on "the right thing to do" as we live in seperation (if we have even reached that point yet?) with our three children, 17,21,22k and I admit my advice to me in this situation is to discuss these concerns with stbx to come up with some form of solution. Except there is no form of discussion going on here about any subject - even the most important at this point which is agreement on paying the ongoing day-to-day bills. I have long since adopted the advice to communicate via e-mail from here on out and I can only assume she doesn't like this as she doesn't respond. Several times she has attempted to verbalize her aggression - which I have not allowed........ I remind her politely in a non-aggressive manner that we need to communicate these things via e-mail for both our benefit(s)? Sounds good to me.

    Where are we?
    1. sep 8 my first e-mail message to her asking to table something she could live with (first two attempts to come up with a "status-quo" plan were mine - both lasted 2.3 days before she returned to just doing as she pleased leaving me to discover on my own, by accident, what she did as she felt communication wasn't necessary - shewill do as she feels.

    2. sep 19 her response - no numbers but a list of utilities, food and taxes. some to me , some to her, some shared, more to me if it was cold outside - some would be switched if the "gerbil" saw her shadow on Feb 2nd (ok what is it? ground hog ), some..... My response.......I was nice I said I was politely confused but without dollar amounts how can I know if I can keep up???
    3. sep 19 I had been working on this for weeks, polished up that afternoon but I listed our incomes, a complete list of our bills, the unknowns like if something broke in the house, or the car which is being used for 97% family stuff. Again my plan but it represented a status quo arrangement with seperate accounts at least.

    October 10 2011 - Silence. No response aside from her again (reality is this practice has not stopped - but I have accepted advice to cease any and all divorce communication with the kids and I have done so)So no response from her aside from her continuing to include the kids in the divorce affairs, providing them with half truths and misinformation as she continues with her smear Dad compaign.

  • #2
    What's your question.

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    • #3
      And it's not about the "right thing to do" as in morally right: it's about the "legally obligated" thing to do as in Divorce Act, Federal Child Support Guidelines, and whatever matrimonial property regime you live under.

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      • #4
        sorry guys! I never realized the hit button was hit!!! there is no question yet! I am or had to stop - it is 2 am now will finish tommorrow. This is a big problem which i have been on for at least a month now and things just go downhill........

        again sorry for the mix up
        ddol1

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