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  • Third Party Communication

    Hi everyone,

    I am wondering if anyone can recommend a third-party communication tool/app/service that could possibly help in the horrible situation that I am in. Due to police involvement, my ex is no longer allowed to communicate with me or come onto my property. Because of this, his wife is in charge of communication with my husband. She has been constantly sending opinionated, slanderous emails, in which she smears my name and goes on long rants about how everything is my fault. We are sick of it.
    We are looking for a way that our communication would be monitored or trackable with the main goal of just getting her to stop making it about her opinions/emotions and start making it about kid business only. As much as I should have a thicker skin about it, I find I am highly stressed to hear such things being said about me, especially since I also know this is happening in front of my kids as well.
    Any suggestions for a communication tool?

  • #2
    I have seen time and time again here of a site called Our Family Wizard.

    https://www.ourfamilywizard.ca/

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    • #3
      Are you able to report this as harassment to the police? You would think with his case ongoing they would be on their best behaviour!

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      • #4
        In counseling re my difficult teen I was told when they were abusive to simply state “thank you for sharing that”. This diffuses the situation and you are not accepting the abuse, it remains their responsibility. Just like a Buddhist saying along the lines that everything is a gift, therefor if you do not accept their gift of abuse it remains theirs not yours.

        You can simply start your response email:
        “Thank you for your last email... does 10.00 pick up time for the kids work or do you prefer 10:30?...”

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        • #5
          "my ex is no longer allowed to communicate with me"
          That does not sound like a thing that came out of Family Court, who ordered that?

          An online messaging system like OurFamilyWizard is something judges like as it records IP addresses, the time items were opened etc. Much harder to say "I didn't write that"
          You can propose this to him and get the order changed to see how it goes.
          It doesn't have to be just about kid business but if they start abusing you with it then that counts against them. A Court Order for this sounds best.

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          • #6
            The police ordered it. They're conditions he cannot breach. Court order seems long and expensive. Perhaps I will try a lawyer letter proposing we agree to try it and see what happens.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Ange71727 View Post
              The police ordered it. They're conditions he cannot breach. Court order seems long and expensive. Perhaps I will try a lawyer letter proposing we agree to try it and see what happens.

              The police ordered it but all they have done now is cause more issues....they just got it out of their hair.

              A lawyer letter sounds much more expensive than just doing it yourself if he agrees. It will be a no risk experience if you do it yourself. Paper work sucks but learning it is good.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Ange71727 View Post
                The police ordered it.
                I don't think contempt of police "order" is a crime. Feel free to contact each other as per normal.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Ange71727 View Post
                  The police ordered it. They're conditions he cannot breach. Court order seems long and expensive. Perhaps I will try a lawyer letter proposing we agree to try it and see what happens.
                  so there is a restraining order in place or something like that? How lond does he have to follow the condtions?

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                  • #10
                    Her previous post outlined he was charged with an offence and it is impacting his actions for access and communication. Obviously his bail conditions outline he is to have no communication or contact with Ange which means a separate party must communicate on his behalf. His new spouse is doing this and being an asshole.

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                    • #11
                      If your ex was charged with a crime and there are bail conditions which stipulate he cannot talk to you and now his new girlfriend is being abusive in communication, there is a simple and free solution. You go and speak to the prosecutor handling your ex’s criminal case. If you don’t know who that is you contact victim services at the court house and they will find out for you. The prosecutor can take your problem to the judge and have the bail conditions altered to say the girlfriend is not allowed to be the third party communicator and can suggest tools such as my family wizard.
                      When my ex was criminally charged I spoke with the prosecutor about changing one of his bail conditions from no access to the kids to supervised access and he got a criminal judge to change it.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Janus View Post
                        I don't think contempt of police "order" is a crime. Feel free to contact each other as per normal.
                        If it's conditions he cannot breach, he would be sent to jail for breaking conditions of his bail, correct? Contempt in a criminal case is a very serious matter and could prove very disastrous if he does that.

                        I would definitely take those emails to the prosecutor, as chances are, he's directing the new wife what to say and that can be seen as interference or collusion.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
                          so there is a restraining order in place or something like that? How lond does he have to follow the condtions?

                          I am a witness (in a sense) to a crime he is accused of, therefore he is ordered by police to not communicate with me or come to my property. Since this post, he also breached the latter by showing up at my house, the day after the latest nasty email was sent. I believe he feels he’s above the law, or is calling my bluff. It’s all in the hands of investigators now so we will see what happens.
                          As an aside, they (the wife) did agree to use OFW if I would foot the bill. It was $250 US but I did it. So far, they aren’t emailing nearly as much.


                          Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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