What does my CS cover in my home?

[HammerDad]

As mentioned, child care for your daughter is a s7 expense and you will need to pay your proportional share of the amount. There is no way around that, notwithstanding that you take time off from work for your parenting time.


Regarding c/s and the %'s being thrown around, my reading is that the OP pays reduced c/s because he agreed to allow her to move, not because he has the child 30% of the time. The 30% is irrelevant to c/s. The travel costs are. Should the ex try to increase c/s to full c/s I do think she would be unsuccessful as she agreed to reduced c/s as a concession for allowing her to move. That said, you should be increasing it every year in accordance with any increases in your income. If you and your ex agreed to you only paying 75% of table c/s, than the 75% should grow proportionally as your income grows.


IMO you screwed up by agreeing with the ex's move. Your parenting schedule worked for the child when they were young, but now that the child is school aged, you will lose time. It is inevitable. You won't be able to take the child out of school for your parenting time for very long. Now, to compensate for lost time, you could negotiate that you get all school breaks. That would be a reasonable and foreseeable exchange when the child inevitably was in regular school.


Your ex also should be providing you with clothes for the child for your parenting time. The reduced c/s was in connection with travel, nothing more. The C/S you pay is still to cover your proportional share of the needs of the child. I just had my kid for the week, the ex sent clothes because that is the way it is supposed to be. I do have some stuff at my place, but anything I have is extra that I choose to buy and maintain. It doesn't impact c/s.

[Gilligan]

I feel for you, but good intentions and trying to do the right thing doesn't have a place in court. Yes, you had an agreement, but that agreement will be changed without any effort whatsoever by your ex. You can't negotiate CS so you may be protected up to the point in time where she requested a change, but you will be held responsible for full table support and section 7 expenses (as of the date of the request).

Yes, she may have offered you a deal with the intention to revisit it once the move was complete and she's established a new status quo. But as other's have said (and her lawyer will argue), you consented to this and CS is not negotiable if brought to court. Which she is now doing.

If I can offer you some advice, it would be to minimize your losses and try to avoid legal fees. You can be held accountable for not only your fees, but hers as well if she is successful (very likely). On top of all the arrears you may incur. This can be devastating and you can add maybe $10K - $20K on top of table support, S7 expenses as well as arrears...

I've had to swallow this pill myself (50/50 be mom doesn't work). It's not a fair system but sometimes you have to accept that it is the way it is and there isn't much you can do with it (at least not in family court).

Good luck

[bcgooddad]

what exactly was the agreement for the reduced CS? You keep saying that you didnt fight the move because she agreed to conditions.

Have you updated your financials for every CS and Sec 7 each year?

The main relevant condition was reduced child support that would make the travel and inconvenience more affordable. I was negotiating for half time joint custody. She moved to go back to school and to where her parents live, which I supported as a good move for her, with the caveat that it didn't increase my costs too much, as I was giving up my bid for half time. Probably stupid yes, but seemed like the "right" thing to do.



We didn't have a formal agreement until last year, and a lot of dispute about time sharing and finances. I had been rearranging my life hugely, as far as renting a second living space when she lived an hour away to work into a half time arrangement, which we had for some time. So I've always paid a reduced, but consistent amount, as there were some times when we were 50/50 and others that weren't. So if we had gone to court then, it might have gone either way, to either awarding 50/50 and no support, or restricting my time and forcing full support payments, but I think we agreed to disagree and do something in the middle. Long story short, no we were not exchanging financials.

[StillPaying]

I feel for you, but good intentions and trying to do the right thing doesn't have a place in court. Yes, you had an agreement, but that agreement will be changed without any effort whatsoever by your ex. You can't negotiate CS so you may be protected up to the point in time where she requested a change, but you will be held responsible for full table support and section 7 expenses (as of the date of the request).

Yes, she may have offered you a deal with the intention to revisit it once the move was complete and she's established a new status quo. But as other's have said (and her lawyer will argue), you consented to this and CS is not negotiable if brought to court. Which she is now doing.

If I can offer you some advice, it would be to minimize your losses and try to avoid legal fees. You can be held accountable for not only your fees, but hers as well if she is successful (very likely). On top of all the arrears you may incur. This can be devastating and you can add maybe $10K - $20K on top of table support, S7 expenses as well as arrears...

I've had to swallow this pill myself (50/50 be mom doesn't work). It's not a fair system but sometimes you have to accept that it is the way it is and there isn't much you can do with it (at least not in family court).

Good luck

Please re-read Hammerdad's post, and the various acts and rules, because this is not correct. Cs is very negotiable inside of court and out. There are specific cases listed and many more available which allows people, and judges, to go below table amounts. This is not a case where the OP should or would be ordered to pay full table.

[Janus]

You agreed to her moving. There's no argument or going back. You agreed, she moved, now there are costs. As many people (like Janus) will say--never agree to reduced time. EVER.

Well... yes

It's a one way road. It is easy to reduce your time with your child, and almost impossible to increase it once you have done that.

[Janus]

The 30% is irrelevant to c/s. The travel costs are.

Except..

We live 10 hours apart and share travel equally.

If father did all the travelling, then he could get reduced CS due to travel costs. If they are sharing the travelling burden though, then he will have to pay table support.

Your ex also should be providing you with clothes for the child for your parenting time.

That's one of those theory vs reality things though. In theory, custodial parent should provide all clothes. In reality, they rarely do.

[StillPaying]

If father did all the travelling, then he could get reduced CS due to travel costs. If they are sharing the travelling burden though, then he will have to pay table support.

This doesn't make sense, unless he was doing no extra traveling. OP is still driving 5 hours and has costs due to the move. Based on their agreement, he would never be ordered to pay full table.

[Janus]

This doesn't make sense, unless he was doing no extra traveling. OP is still driving 5 hours and has costs due to the move. Based on their agreement, he would never be ordered to pay full table.

I get what you are saying. It is just unusual to be able to contract your way out of child support. The only way I have seen is in related to access costs. I guess what will likely happen is that mother will stop sharing the travelling, and father will have to do 100% of the travelling. At that point he will be incurring all of the travel expenses and will likely be able to argue for a reduction from table CS.

His hours of personal time are not really worth anything, just his costs. He is not going to get that much of a rebate.

If I were bcgooddad, I would strongly consider moving next to the mother. Driving 5 hours for a brief unsatisfying visit is going to become tiresome quite quickly.

[StillPaying]

I get what you are saying. It is just unusual to be able to contract your way out of child support.

It's certainly uncommon, yet has a specific section in the rules for this issue, and related issues like multiple baby mamas, where the usual cs can be changed.

I guess what will likely happen is that mother will stop sharing the travelling, and father will have to do 100% of the travelling.

Then the agreement would be changed to accommodate a greater discount due to even more cost.

If I were bcgooddad, I would strongly consider moving next to the mother. Driving 5 hours for a brief unsatisfying visit is going to become tiresome quite quickly.

Unless he can get the other baby mama(s) to move with him, that might be hard.

[HammerDad]

If father did all the travelling, then he could get reduced CS due to travel costs. If they are sharing the travelling burden though, then he will have to pay table support.

C/S may still be reduced to factor in the increased costs of transporting the child notwithstanding that transportation is shared. 10 hours shared is still 5 hours each way, which is still a significant amount. Further, if the ex agreed to meet half way AND reduce c/s as a means to compensate for the increased time/costs of the OP's transportation, a court isn't likely going alter that. The ex agreed to this and conceded the reduced c/s in consideration for allowing her to move, any half decent lawyer would roll over the ex if they tried to reverse their position now.

That's one of those theory vs reality things though. In theory, custodial parent should provide all clothes. In reality, they rarely do.

Very true. Having some stuff on hand is smart, just in case. Although I disagree with the ratios. I think most CP's do send clothes, it is just the ones that don't you head about more. Like deadbeat dads. No one really hears about the ones that actually do what they are supposed to do.

[HammerDad]

If I were bcgooddad, I would strongly consider moving next to the mother. Driving 5 hours for a brief unsatisfying visit is going to become tiresome quite quickly.

^^^ Best advice in the thread actually.

[bcgooddad]

For clarity, we share the travel, each doing the full distance with an overnight once every four weeks. And the distance is 10 hours each way. That was one of my conditions for the move, along with reduced cs. Otherwise we would have been in court debating the move.


I am considering moving closer, except I parent my son half time where I am now. He is 12, and things are pretty solid there, but I can't really ditch him. If I can manage to squeeze in a few days a month with my daughter where my ex lives, that could put me into substantially equal time, and it's a whole different legal situation. Tough though as we need a place to stay (which is possible with friends), and depending on work. It's a stretch.


Having another kid I would hope gives me a bit of leverage for reduced support also? Though from what I understand, undue hardship is a tough fight?

[HammerDad]

Uggg..... I didn't realize there is another child in the mix and you share custody. It would be REALLY hard to justify giving up time with one child for the other. IMO, I think you are stuck in the location you are.


That said, having another child has ZERO impact on what you pay in c/s. It is not a factor in determining whether it should be reduced. Your only argument for maintaining the reduced c/s is the cost of travel.

[bcgooddad]

Yeah exactly. My last resort and what I've suggested to her is that I take her to court to relocate again back to where I live once she is done school in the spring. Reasoning is that it is expensive and extremely inconvenient for both of us, we can barely schedule month to month, it's creates tons of conflict between us, and most importantly not good for our daughter who is torn between two lives. School complications could play into it also, as well as her relationship to my son, her half brother. If I am put into an impossible position, I would have to try for it. Is this ever successful?

[standing on the sidelines]

Yeah exactly. My last resort and what I've suggested to her is that I take her to court to relocate again back to where I live once she is done school in the spring. Reasoning is that it is expensive and extremely inconvenient for both of us, we can barely schedule month to month, it's creates tons of conflict between us, and most importantly not good for our daughter who is torn between two lives. School complications could play into it also, as well as her relationship to my son, her half brother. If I am put into an impossible position, I would have to try for it. Is this ever successful?

A court will not force her to move back with the child..the ship has sailed on that. If you would of done that when she first moved then you would of had more or a chance.

You knew when she moved that it would be difficult and inconvenient but you did not stop it.