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  • #16
    Of course the glitch of positive attitude may be just that...a glitch, however, it has only been the last 6 months that she actually started her acts... before this, her and I got along great, her and I still get along better than her and my bf... but I guess I am just that type of person, that if you hate me, I am just going to be as nice as pie to you, because in the end, you look like the dumb a** who is trying to fight with someone being nice

    Either way, when we picked the kids up last night, she came outside and talked to me, totally ignored the Bf, gave me S6 report card, talked about what he had to work on and such... if I have to be the one to have a civil relationship with her so be it, I guess its better for all involved.

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    • #17
      I think one thing we forget is that 'taking the high road' isn't about what you get in return, it's about doing the right thing for no other reason than it's the right thing to do. Be a good/positive example for your children and others on how to treat people, be the man/woman you want your son/daughter to be and let the karma train handle the rest.

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      • #18
        Blink: you said what I was trying to say, only better. I'm far from perfect but trying to set the best example I can.

        I'm responsible quite literally and solely, for helping to shape the mind and good character of a young boy. I feel bad that he's seen me fall apart a few times, seen me rail at times re: the boat I'm in - but even from that, he's learned compassion, respect and a strong sense of right and wrong. I acknowledge always, when I've reacted in a way that I shouldn't have. Anyway, the plan is: set a good example. It's not a contest - as I have no control over what the ex says or does.

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        • #19
          I agree with you Berner_Faith, it is nice to hear a positive story like that. In my situation, I have had periods like that with my ex....it seems just when we think everything is calmed down and positive, she stabs me in the back and puts us through hell again.

          Example last March Break, she specifically asked if my girlfriend was ok with caring for our children, while she took off to Mexico. My girlfriend has an awesome relationship with our children and was happy to help my ex out.

          Now this year my ex says she doesn't trust my girlfriend and she's not allowed to care for our children. WTF?

          I got behind on child support when I got laid off/was making minimum wage for a time being--I owed her $4800. She gave me lee-way, said she understood, just pay her when I got a better job. As soon as I got the better job, I gave her $2000 up front and we made a verbal agreement that I would pay her the normal monthly child support plus an extra $100 to pay back the remaining $2800. (I thought we were at a positive point, anything negative in the past by this)
          A week later---FRO contacts me, saying that she told them I have never ever paid her child support and I owed her $7000. They immediately started garnishing half my pay cheques. She got away with scamming me out of $4000 that way.

          It's all good when it is something they want, on their terms, out of convenience for them. But they will turn on you in an instant!

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          • #20
            Originally posted by Rioe View Post
            Maybe the crash rattled something into place in her brain.
            This has to be true...we have had this children since Sunday... she has been extremely nice the whole week... usually when we have the children she doesn't bother calling or asking how they are (which is fine as we usually only have them on weekends and she keeps herself busy).

            However, last night I had the kids alone as Dad was working late... they asked to call Mom, she I sent her a text to see if she was available to talk... she called and spoke to the kids, when they were done, they handed me the phone and said Mom wanted to talk to me... so I spoke to her, she was actually interested in what we were doing with the kids, how their swimming lessons were going and our plans for the rest of the week. She thanked me for allowing her to call...

            She honestly acted like we were friends, which is not something I am asking, but again, its nice to know we can be civil with each other. Its possible she was just being nosy, but who cares...if she wants to know what the children are doing and if they are enjoying themselves, who am I to stand in the way?

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            • #21
              Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
              I think one thing we forget is that 'taking the high road' isn't about what you get in return, it's about doing the right thing for no other reason than it's the right thing to do. Be a good/positive example for your children and others on how to treat people, be the man/woman you want your son/daughter to be and let the karma train handle the rest.
              As much as this altruistic thiinking is something to strive for - I would be happy enough with faking it for the desired result.

              It would still be much better than where me and my ex are now.
              If only she could bring her self to play the 'be nice' game too.

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              • #22
                Was in court for pre-trial hearing.........so want no part of trial for tiny bit of pension money (all other matters settled)I try to take the high road agree to everything she wants.......offer up buyout on my pension (we were common law)...judge said I was not obligated I dont care just want it done....and my greedy x not only turned it down she asked for cost (she has legal aide) I self rep........grrrrrrrr hoping her lawyer talks sense into her....

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