There have been a few posts on this forum, were the OP is told to pick their battles. I can't agree more with this advice, something so small is not worth the hassle just to not give the ex what he/she wants...
My example for today... on Friday my bf received a text from his stbx saying she was in another car accident (second in 2 years)... luckily the children were not with her and she was okay.. the problem was, I was to meet her today to pick up the children at 1:30... however, she was unsure if the van was a right off or not and would not know more until Saturday (yesterday)...
Yesterday while I was at work, I received a text from her, asking if I was able to pick up the children at her place, as the van was a write off and she could not get a rental until Monday... my first initial thought was no... because two months ago when we had to have new brakes put on our van, she was unwilling to come and pick up the children from our place and said we had to find away to meet her... however, we all know you get more bees with honey.
Before I had a chance to write her back, she phoned me... obviously upset and embarrassed by what had happened, she tried to plead with me about picking up the children... I had already made up my mind that of course we would pick them up... lets face it, we never give up a chance to spend with them...
She offered me gas money, offered to do the next 2 exchanges, offered to not cash his next CS cheque.... now some people may have taken any of those offers, but really, none of them had any merit to me, I was just excited to have the kids for a week... I told her to relax, its unfortunate what happen, but I was glad she was okay. I said we would pick the children up later tonight as apposed to this afternoon, and no, I/we didn't expect any of what she offered.
There was a pause, and then she Thanked me... she thanked me for being so understanding, she thanked me for not freaking out and she thanked me for being so awesome to her kids... to me, there was no thanks necessary...its just the type of person I am... she is still their mother and it is going to be a lifetime of us dealing with her, why not do so has civil as possible?
I just hope this is a step in the direction that eventually any hostility she has towards me and my bf, will diminish and together we can all provide the children with the best possible...
I just wanted to share a positive story, as we are often told of the negatives...
Happy Sunday All!
My example for today... on Friday my bf received a text from his stbx saying she was in another car accident (second in 2 years)... luckily the children were not with her and she was okay.. the problem was, I was to meet her today to pick up the children at 1:30... however, she was unsure if the van was a right off or not and would not know more until Saturday (yesterday)...
Yesterday while I was at work, I received a text from her, asking if I was able to pick up the children at her place, as the van was a write off and she could not get a rental until Monday... my first initial thought was no... because two months ago when we had to have new brakes put on our van, she was unwilling to come and pick up the children from our place and said we had to find away to meet her... however, we all know you get more bees with honey.
Before I had a chance to write her back, she phoned me... obviously upset and embarrassed by what had happened, she tried to plead with me about picking up the children... I had already made up my mind that of course we would pick them up... lets face it, we never give up a chance to spend with them...
She offered me gas money, offered to do the next 2 exchanges, offered to not cash his next CS cheque.... now some people may have taken any of those offers, but really, none of them had any merit to me, I was just excited to have the kids for a week... I told her to relax, its unfortunate what happen, but I was glad she was okay. I said we would pick the children up later tonight as apposed to this afternoon, and no, I/we didn't expect any of what she offered.
There was a pause, and then she Thanked me... she thanked me for being so understanding, she thanked me for not freaking out and she thanked me for being so awesome to her kids... to me, there was no thanks necessary...its just the type of person I am... she is still their mother and it is going to be a lifetime of us dealing with her, why not do so has civil as possible?
I just hope this is a step in the direction that eventually any hostility she has towards me and my bf, will diminish and together we can all provide the children with the best possible...
I just wanted to share a positive story, as we are often told of the negatives...
Happy Sunday All!
Comment