Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Reneging on deals

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #16
    Originally posted by pinkHouses View Post
    I am not thinking about costs here. Simply the judges re-enforcing of a deal made.
    Nothing is signed. Both of you are alive. The issues are contemporaneous with the dispute. The judge is not going to enforce an unsigned agreement here. It is just not going to happen.

    Instead of trying to find a new angle to argue that this unsigned deal should be enforced, just renegotiate.

    Yes, it sucks, but now you know better.

    Comment


    • #17
      Originally posted by Janus View Post
      Nothing is signed. Both of you are alive. The issues are contemporaneous with the dispute. The judge is not going to enforce an unsigned agreement here. It is just not going to happen.

      Instead of trying to find a new angle to argue that this unsigned deal should be enforced, just renegotiate.

      Yes, it sucks, but now you know better.
      I suppose all I have then are complaints to the law society to try and get that lawyer in order, I don't think that will work because I am sure someone would have done it before me.

      Negotiating with unprincipled and unreasonable people just doesn't happen, it is a big waste of time and money. I have been principled but maybe it is time to change tactics and be an a hole and simply litigate at every opportunity....that is so negative.

      I don't know how you ended up negotiating things with your ex but it sounded like that didn't happen so much for you.

      Comment


      • #18
        Pinkhouses, you are correct in that “negotiating with unprincipled and unreasonable people just doesn’t happen, it is a big waste of time and money”. Changing tactics and litigating at every opportunity is not the route to go. It will only provide your lawyer with another pound of your flesh in the form of your hard earned life savings.
        As a Person who has been involved in this broken system of family law litigation with an unreasonable and brain damaged STBX for approaching 10 years now ( yes 10 years) I feel qualified to give you some advice to keep your sanity.

        Now that you have come to the conclusion you can not negotiate with your ex...don’t. Just be sure you have sent at least one reasonable offer to settle ( preferably a severable one) to cover you when costs are awarded. Do not entertain further negotiations and push for trial if in court, arbitration if in med/arb.
        If there are issues which need a definitive answer in the meantime, do your obligatory cc then straight to a motion to get a signed order.

        Rein your lawyer in. Don’t let them get side tracked with “negotiations” or if in med arb, don’t let them convince you to do more than the one single session of obligatory mediation before heading straight to arbitration.
        Control your lawyer to control your costs. You now know you can’t reason with your ex. Your lawyer may be wearing rose coloured glasses or they simply don’t care and want to wring as much money out of you as possible.

        If this is going to drag on for years you may want to look into unbundled services or even going self rep a time or two ( this drove my ex bonkers because he was still paying hundreds of thousands in legal fees and I wasn’t).

        Bottom line is. Let your ex waste their time and money. You be strategic and careful with yours. Push for a Motion and a trial or arbitration to get signed orders so you can actually get off this train wreck.
        Last edited by Stillbreathing; 08-11-2020, 11:11 AM.

        Comment


        • #19
          Originally posted by pinkHouses View Post
          I don't know how you ended up negotiating things with your ex but it sounded like that didn't happen so much for you.
          To the contrary, my ex renenged on pretty much 100% of the verbal agreements we reached while negotiating our separation agreement.

          I learned quickly that words were nice, but not to take anything seriously until it was in writing and she had signed it.

          That principle still holds today. If we "agree" to something, I don't consider it to be an actual agreement until it has been sent by her by email. I generally assume that anything she says to me is a lie until shown otherwise. Sadly, that assumption is often correct.

          That's why I especially don't get all your concerns. Some people lie, you cannot change that, so you just work with it.

          Comment


          • #20
            Originally posted by Janus View Post

            That principle still holds today. If we "agree" to something, I don't consider it to be an actual agreement until it has been sent by her by email. I generally assume that anything she says to me is a lie until shown otherwise. Sadly, that assumption is often correct.

            That's why I especially don't get all your concerns. Some people lie, you cannot change that, so you just work with it.
            Mine is the same. They lie about everything, even the court order and when they agree of offer something I don't believe it until the money is in my account or I see the report signed by the authority that stated it.

            Our agreements were on letters signed by the attorney and that is what I get bent up about.

            :-)

            Comment


            • #21
              Thanks Stillbreathing. The lawyer's have been a bit of a problem and I found they were doing negotiations I instructed them both verbally and in writing not to do. Another headache with more court. I think the worst thing someone can do is hav a lawyer represent them because some will do whatever they feel best and argue with you when they screw up.
              So I changed tactics that way. If I am not paying costs for a lawyer and they are it helps me I suppose; I should have done it from the beginning; I was smart enough, just afraid and without experience.

              Comment

              Our Divorce Forums
              Forums dedicated to helping people all across Canada get through the separation and divorce process, with discussions about legal issues, parenting issues, financial issues and more.
              Working...
              X