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  • #16
    Update on yesterday.

    On the weekend my ex emailed me to try and mediate out of court... I still had no idea where she was living with our daughter at this point.

    Tuesday was a case conference. My ex asked to phone in because she lives 2 hours away. The judge, who has been sort of managing this case up until now had read my conference brief, and been in contact with childrens aid where my ex was living, that includes the CAS lawyer down there, and the worker assigned to the case. My ex was delayed in serving her brief, she emailed it to my lawyer moments before the conference started. The judge did not even read it at that point.
    The judge started with " I am making one of 2 orders today, and that is up to my ex, first choice is that my ex can bring our daughter by 3 PM sharp to the CAS office and surrender our daughter over to them until I could arrive, and if she did not show up by 3 PM sharp the police would have an apprehension and search order and they would be advised that our daughter was in danger. If my ex did not choose this, the judge would have police notified right away to apprehend our daughter. She suggested that at CAS would be best so she could minimize trauma to our daughter, and maintain some dignity.
    My ex continued to argue with the judge, for a significant about of time, but the judge understands and feels that she cannot trust anything my ex says at this point.
    So the order was made at 1:30 PM, I was given a copy of the actual order, not just an endorsement and told to go directly to halton CAS. The judge also called the CAS lawyer to let them know to expect me.

    I arrive at 3:30, no sign of my ex or our daughter. Ex does not return CAS phone calls. Ex sends my lawyer a txt msg to let her know she is running late, but does not say by how much. By 4:30 I contact the police, and they came to CAS to meet me. They said the order is crystal clear, and I provided them with all contact info. They then left to go searching. By 6 PM CAS office was closing so we went to a Tim Hortons at the direction of the Police. At 6:10 I get a call from a court services officer in Milton, they have detained my ex and were awaiting my ex's husband's arrival with our daughter. My ex had gone to Milton court to try and make an emergency motion on over and above the order to have our daughter returned to me. The milton judge contacted the Barrie judge, and they decided to hold my ex. Once our daughter arrived police took her and my ex to the Milton police station. Burlington police went to the Milton police station and picked up our daughter, and brought her back to me.
    Tomorrow my lawyer and my ex are doing a quick conference with the Judge in Barrie through the phone, to discuss access.... I am thinking and hoping that at best she gets supervised access at least until the end of the school year.

    Our daughter is adjusting well, she knows that she has people she can talk to if she needs, but that nobody will pry if she does not wish. Now we work on getting her adjusted into life here and see where it all goes from here.
    Thank you all

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    • #17
      Oh, your poor daughter! I hope that wasn't too traumatic for her being driven around by police.

      It must be so hard not to interrogate her about what was going on, where she was.

      Lots of hugs tonight, I'm sure!

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      • #18
        Agree with Rioe. Your daughter has been through the wringer. Hopefully the access is completely supervised and stays that way for a long time. Good work dad and yes lots of hugs are needed!!

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        • #19
          I will be surprised if you come back to say any access was established at this point. Your daughter needs a break from her I think. Mom needs to get out of runwiththekid mode before there's any contact, and when there is it should be supervised.

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          • #20
            We are lucky that she is adjusting well. I guess it was sort of good that they were residing in a hotel, not sure what one but our daughter says there was a pool, and they got to go to alot of restaurants. So I hope that the trauma was minimal, and more of a confusion thing to her.
            The police who drove her back were very nice, she had to sit in the front seat as the back does not have a seatbelt. They joked around with her and made her feel at ease, and the older of the 2 officers reminded her that none of this is her fault. Our daughter gave him a big hug once she got out of the car.

            I will know tomorrow what access will be, and will update you all on it.
            Thank you for your support.

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            • #21
              Wow high drama... good to hear that your daughter is with you.

              All the best. Hope things calm down from here on in....

              Sounds like police handled the situation well.

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              • #22
                Thank God your daughter is safe.

                I must commend you on your mature, calm behaviour under these very stressful circumstances. Not every parent would have been able to hold it together like you did. Your daughter is very very lucky to have you as a father!

                Comment


                • #23
                  Originally posted by Stillbreathing View Post
                  Thank God your daughter is safe.

                  I must commend you on your mature, calm behaviour under these very stressful circumstances. Not every parent would have been able to hold it together like you did. Your daughter is very very lucky to have you as a father!
                  Thank you,
                  Internally I was panicking. But I had to follow my lawyers advice on this. When I was going in to the case conference my mind was racing because I know that family court can cause things to go sideways fast.
                  I needed to hold it together though because that is what she needs. She has spent years in chaos at her moms, but it took waiting until there was no real other option for the courts for me to act.
                  I had to trust that at this point, the police and CAS had no option but to help me, and knowing that I knew it would be ok.

                  But now I have to get our daughter on track. She is very behind in school, and socially, and emotionally. Luckily my wife is a child and youth worker so she very much understands what is going on.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Originally posted by fireweb13 View Post
                    My ex had gone to Milton court to try and make an emergency motion on over and above the order to have our daughter returned to me. The milton judge contacted the Barrie judge, and they decided to hold my ex.
                    What an outlandish chess move she attempted.

                    This thread is what gives me hope for the future. Parents contemplating abduction to create a false status quo will think twice.

                    I love how this story ended and these judges deserve a raise!!! God bless them!

                    Congrats my friend. Now go enjoy your child.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Hey good to hear it all worked out in the end. You maintained child focused and extremely patient throughout . Glad your daughter is okay and back with you. Ask for supervised access and request other parent complete counselling to the courts satisfaction if she want's regular access with your kid - it's only thing that sounds fair to the child at this point - your child needs to properly heal and bond with you without any more negative interference by the other parent.

                      Icing on cake - you get to switch to a school of your choice. Don't forget to be a super good citizen and file a complain about the old Principal once you've completed a principal to principal transfer. DO mention child was improperly registered at the new school in the principal to principal transfer form.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Today, while my ex and my lawyer were speaking the the judge via telephone to discuss access of our daughter to my ex (I was not in on this call). The decision was made that my exs inlaws would have facilitate supervised visitation. Between now and June 20th they would take of our daughter for 2 weekends, they would pick her up Friday, and I would pick her up Sunday. They had to sign documents by 4 PM today stating that they acknowledge that if they allow anyone to take care of our daughter (including anything like my ex taking our daughter out for a walk or anything like that) that they were risking jail time.

                        4 pm came and went, my ex asked my lawyer if she could change who was the supervisors as her inlaws would be traveling for that time... She even asked my lawyer to meet her in the middle and have a stronger police enforcement clause and have her have normal unsupervised weekend access.

                        Not going to happen, she can have supervised access at an access center here in town if she wishes, that is all.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Originally posted by fireweb13 View Post
                          Today, while my ex and my lawyer were speaking the the judge via telephone to discuss access of our daughter to my ex (I was not in on this call). The decision was made that my exs inlaws would have facilitate supervised visitation. Between now and June 20th they would take of our daughter for 2 weekends, they would pick her up Friday, and I would pick her up Sunday. They had to sign documents by 4 PM today stating that they acknowledge that if they allow anyone to take care of our daughter (including anything like my ex taking our daughter out for a walk or anything like that) that they were risking jail time.

                          4 pm came and went, my ex asked my lawyer if she could change who was the supervisors as her inlaws would be traveling for that time... She even asked my lawyer to meet her in the middle and have a stronger police enforcement clause and have her have normal unsupervised weekend access.

                          Not going to happen, she can have supervised access at an access center here in town if she wishes, that is all.
                          Yes. Tables have turned. It's time to let her taste her own medicine now.

                          Comment

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