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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #31  
Old 03-21-2018, 02:59 PM
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Originally Posted by cashcow4ex View Post
This sounds like a movie Reese Witherspoon should star in!

I think the opposite could hold true as well. Kids seeing their parent uproot their entire lives from everything and everyone they've ever known and moving them to another country, thus effectively reducing them to a single parent family for a better job prospect would be doing so as a detriment to that child. Past case law also demonstrates that the courts also believe the above to be true judging on how hard it is to get a judge to approve it .
People used to say that about divorce parents, gay parents or biracial parents.
  #32  
Old 03-21-2018, 03:01 PM
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People used to say that about divorce parents, gay parents or biracial parents.

Apples and oranges!
  #33  
Old 03-21-2018, 05:03 PM
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Originally Posted by ensorcelled View Post
That last paragraph is hilariously wrong.
No its not.

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Law schools may be tipping to have more female students, but most law firm partners, law school deans, judges and tenured law profs are male. You're still at the top of the food chain no matter how you slice the admissions process...
You are looking in the rear view mirror, while unwilling to open your eyes and see whats ahead. Men/boys are statistically being left behind in education at all levels. There is ample evidence of this out there should just google it. You sound like you are cool with the that fact, while not providing any evidence of your position, just broad ideological references.

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And please share an actual statistics that show that women get more 'sole custody' than men. Did you read the Motherrisk report? Most people who got their children taken away were women, not fathers.
http://motheriskcommission.ca/wp-content/uploads/Report-of-the-Motherisk-Commission.pdf
Lol, what does the mothers risk commission have to do with custody cases determined in court? You are confusing CAS apprehensions with custody matters between spouses, apples and oranges.

According to Statistics Canada - http://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/rp-pr/f...at2000/p4.html - Mothers are awarded sole custody in 79.3% of the cases, and men are awarded it in 6.6% of the cases. That is a pretty huge discrepancy.


Quote:
As for military casualties, you should check out the research by Andrea Lane at Dalhousie: http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/...20702017741910 (among others).
Men are more likely to be in upper-level roles in the military, hence higher salaries, pensions and better benefits.
Men are more likely to be doing procurement contracting, building ships and planes, sourcing guns and weaponry, get hired for lobbying, and all the benefits that come from those stable military-centered jobs than women are.
Women make up 4.3% of the Canadian Armed Forces, yet form 18.3% of the Commissioned Officers - http://www.forces.gc.ca/en/news/arti...orces/izkjqzeu

The fact that there are more men as officers has everything to do with there are more men in the military. There are many female officers, more so per capita then men.

Men are statistically more likely to be construction and in general labour, so that they are involved in ship/plane building and other labour roles has nothing to do with people being held back, but simply career choices.

Quote:
So yes, you may have more casualties than women, but men benefit way more from military jobs and military life than women can ever imagine.
Provide actual evidence of this, considering the high rates of PTSD and other issues our military personnel endure. And I don't think that a better chance of dying is such a small issue as you make it sound.

Quote:
As for the shelters, you realise this is because women need family units more than they need individual units, yes?
Not sure where this drivel is coming from. You are suggesting that men don't need their family or family units? So a man trying to escape an abuse spouse is just supposed to leave the house alone, and should leave any children with their abuser? Outside of the obvious ideological nonsense, please provide evidence to back up your position that women need family units more than men.

Quote:
Domestic violence is overwhelmingly committed towards woman than the other way around.
While statistics do show that females are the victims of reported intimate partner violence, does that really justify that there are 3..... yeah, just 3... men's shelters in the entire country? The stats for reported intimate partner violence show women are about 4-5x more likely to be victims of IPV. But that still leaves a lot of men out there as victims. So in the name of equality, wouldn't it justify that 1 in 4 or 5 shelters be open for men? I mean, that is what the numbers would suggest.

Quote:
On topic?
I never said staying in one place was a bad thing, but that in reality, women (who overwhelmingly do not benefit from divorce financially even if they are getting child support) have to often move to better their lives. You're assuming that such a move would upend the lives of the child(ren) to the point where they would be alienated from their fathers. All of these need to be taken on a case-by-case basis but starting from 'Most law school students are women!' isn't helping move the equality needle, or affirming what the best interests of the child is.
No one benefits from divorce. Literally no one. Families are torn up, incomes are redistributed between homes, costs are increased from having to have 2 homes, extra clothes, separate vacations etc. There are extra costs all over the place that strain the finances of both parents.

As for having to move, no one said the OP (who has already moved on from getting their answer) couldn't move. It is just they could not move with the kids. You make it sound like there is some default assumption that females are the ones to get the kids (affirming my point about the custody stats). And it isn't about alienation, it is about the maintaining maximum contact between each parent, because statistics that children do better when both their parents play meaningful roles their lives. And it is difficult, if not impossible, to maintain a meaningful role when the child live in different countries.

And I say this as someone whose ex is moving in a couple months. She is moving to a better role for herself and I am fully supporting it. She is moving about 50 minutes away, when she used to be 30 minutes away. It will impact my parenting time, but my ex is understanding and has already agreed to compensate me with extra time elsewhere. I completely support the want to better one self, but I don't support the presumed notion that one sex is entitled to custody or to remove the ability for the children to have a meaningful relationship with both of their parents.

Last edited by HammerDad; 03-21-2018 at 05:05 PM.
  #34  
Old 03-21-2018, 10:45 PM
ensorcelled ensorcelled is offline
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-That link / statistic about sole custody is from 1994-1999. Most people going through family court right now were born around that time.

-Law school deans who are women: http://www.ccld-cdfdc.ca/ (spolier: not many)
Law partners who are women: 17%
http://practice.findlaw.com/human-re...wl-report.html
Female judges (good lord this is sad) http://www.fja.gc.ca/appointments-no...juges-eng.aspx

-I don't understand your point about the military, other than to prove mine. You said that women are outpacing men in all kinds of areas but clearly this isn't the case here at all, either in the military itself, or in the surrounding industries that support it.

We've had 158 casualties since Afghanistan and YES, many more came home with long-term health issues/setbacks. This doesn't escape my point above that he military is overall dominated by men, making money for and by men and led by men. There are of course risks with that, but military nurses and orderlies are nowhere near those salaries.


Yuu seriously need proof / links that women are abused more than men in intimate relationships?!

Women are overwhelmingly on the receiving end of abuse (financial, emotional, physical, sexual, etc). Obviously there are exceptions but the shelter system deals with all kinds of community needs from addiction, mental health, etc. Where is your statistic about the male-only needs (like, do male addicts need a gender specific shelter?) and if it's in such dire straits why is the homeless strategy not sounding major alarm bells?
https://www.canada.ca/en/employment-...gstrategy.html

Finances:
Women fare worse financially than men in divorce. Period. Your race to the bottom statement flies in the face of all kinds of research, with shared parenting, no children and maintenance variables factored in:

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...women-research

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...n-relationship

http://www.thelawcorner.com/news/1-5...ivorce-poverty

https://globalnews.ca/news/3377381/h...your-finances/

Quote:
I don't support the presumed notion that one sex is entitled to custody or to remove the ability for the children to have a meaningful relationship with both of their parents.
You're assuming this can only happen if they live near each other and have 50-50 'equal' custody, right?
  #35  
Old 03-22-2018, 09:51 AM
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Originally Posted by ensorcelled View Post
-That link / statistic about sole custody is from 1994-1999. Most people going through family court right now were born around that time.
Unless the average person going through a divorce is between the ages of 19-24, then I doubt your statement. And given that more and more people are waiting until older to get married, I really do doubt your statement.

Quote:
-Law school deans who are women: http://www.ccld-cdfdc.ca/ (spolier: not many)
Law partners who are women: 17%
http://practice.findlaw.com/human-re...wl-report.html
Female judges (good lord this is sad) http://www.fja.gc.ca/appointments-nominations/judges-juges-eng.aspx
Again, you are looking in the rear view and not looking ahead. You are confusing historical career choices/stereotypes with the fact that over 60% of all future lawyers will be women. That would likely entail that 60% of all future partners, judges, deans etc. will follow that trend.

Quote:
-I don't understand your point about the military, other than to prove mine.
Not sure how it proves your point. Women only make up 4% of the military, yet 18% of commissioned officers. Meaning there are higher number of women as commissioned officers than there population in the military would suggest. Unless you think 4% of the military population should be 50% of the commissioned officers, then I am not sure what you are suggesting. Yes, there are more men in the military because women choose not to join, not because there is some glass ceiling or other issue.

Quote:
You said that women are outpacing men in all kinds of areas but clearly this isn't the case here at all, either in the military itself, or in the surrounding industries that support it.
Women make up commissioned officers at a rate of 4.5 times their number in the military. I would say that isn't bad. Women also make up approximately 80% of our teachers, nurses etc.

They make up 56% of veterinarians https://www.canadianveterinarians.net/about/statistics .

For doctors under the age of 44, they make up 54% https://www.cma.ca/Assets/assets-lib...ge-sex-prv.pdf

So for 50% of the population, there are fields that women do have a higher percentage of and it is a growing trend. And I am also not going to suggest that is a bad thing. Each gender generally leans towards certain roles. Men are more likely to be in labour, factory and military roles.

Quote:
We've had 158 casualties since Afghanistan and YES, many more came home with long-term health issues/setbacks. This doesn't escape my point above that he military is overall dominated by men, making money for and by men and led by men. There are of course risks with that, but military nurses and orderlies are nowhere near those salaries.
As mentioned before,there are more men in the military simply because more men choose to join. If more women chose to join, then the numbers would even out.


Quote:
Yuu seriously need proof / links that women are abused more than men in intimate relationships?!
Did I or did I not state that showed that women had a higher percentage of reported IPV, oh yeah, I did:

Quote:
stats for reported intimate partner violence show women are about 4-5x more likely to be victims of IPV.
Yet again, there are 3 shelter for men in Canada. Stats would dictate that 1 in 5 domestic violence shelters would be designated for men. Unless you think men should go to homeless shelters, which isn't the purpose of those shelters.

Quote:
Women are overwhelmingly on the receiving end of abuse (financial, emotional, physical, sexual, etc). Obviously there are exceptions but the shelter system deals with all kinds of community needs from addiction, mental health, etc. Where is your statistic about the male-only needs (like, do male addicts need a gender specific shelter?) and if it's in such dire straits why is the homeless strategy not sounding major alarm bells?
https://www.canada.ca/en/employment-...gstrategy.html
Statistics about male issues:

Males make up nearly 73% of the homeless in Canada - http://homelesshub.ca/sites/default/..._20Oct2016.pdf

Males are over 3 times more likely to commit suicide - https://www.statcan.gc.ca/pub/82-624.../11696-eng.htm and post divorce that men are 2 times more likely to commit suicide than the nation average, while there is no statistical difference for women than the nation average - https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/art...v054p00254.pdf

Men simply die younger. There are a lot of factors in this one, but the fact that men make up a large portion of the hazardous and dangerous jobs is likely one of the larger contributing factors.

That men are more likely to have mental health issues - http://www.camh.ca/en/hospital/about...tatistics.aspx

And again, as I have said over and over, both sexes have issues and benefits. It is what it is.

Quote:
Finances:
Women fare worse financially than men in divorce. Period. Your race to the bottom statement flies in the face of all kinds of research, with shared parenting, no children and maintenance variables factored in:

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...women-research

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...n-relationship

http://www.thelawcorner.com/news/1-5...ivorce-poverty

https://globalnews.ca/news/3377381/h...your-finances/
You seem to be focused on the financial impact of divorce. I am looking at a broader picture. As the stats about mental health and post divorce suicide rates show, men do struggle as well. Maybe do the stats that men are less likely to get custody of their kids and be able to have a meaningful relationship with them could be a cause...you think?

Quote:
You're assuming this can only happen if they live near each other and have 50-50 'equal' custody, right?
No. Being able to have a meaningful relationship with ones kid does not mean 50/50 or living close. I don't have 50/50, nor do I live particularly close to my ex (as mentioned currently live 30 minutes from my ex, and soon to be about 50 minutes). But being hundreds, if not thousands of miles away from the children would negatively impact ones ability to have a meaningful relationship and maintain contact. Yeah, FaceTime and Skype are nice and all. But there is something more meaningful and beneficial about actually being around another person physically.

Me, I see my kid regularly. I am involved in her activities and life. I take her to dance and her riding lessons, I go to parent teacher meetings, take her to hospital when she is sick. These are things I wouldn't be able to do if my ex lived in another country. Theses are the little things that we call "parenting". They aren't the glory jobs, but they are necessary to build the bonds between parents and children.

Edit - this has gone way off topic at this point. This isn't about a pissing match of who has it better or worse between sexes. It is about whether or not it is in the kids best interests to be removed from their familiar surroundings and other parent. The sex of that parent is irrelevant.

Last edited by HammerDad; 03-22-2018 at 09:59 AM.
  #36  
Old 03-22-2018, 10:12 AM
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Originally Posted by cashcow4ex View Post
This sounds like a movie Reese Witherspoon should star in!
LOL! You sir, always make me laugh.
  #37  
Old 03-22-2018, 10:20 AM
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This has gotten really extreme.

CHECK IT OUT EXTREME CHEDDAR!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=os-hesdDVB4

(Somebody should do something. )
  #38  
Old 03-22-2018, 10:23 AM
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This thread has gotten way off track so I'm going to go ahead and shut it down. Thanks folks!
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