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  • Family Breakdown on Social Media

    Hi All,

    I recently started an experiment with Twitter to track immediate family breakdowns as communicated by parents through Twitter.

    Suffice to say, it is always amazing to see what people will communicate publicly over the internet regarding their family situation. The experiment was short lived (three hours of data collection) as I litterally ran out of storage because the amount of mud slinging by potential litigants to a family law matter was just too much to handle. (Need to narrow by geographical region.)

    What I did notice on the snapshot of data was that there are a pile of people on Twitter ready to assist and provide incredibly bad advice and in only three hours of collection:

    - 18 recommendations to change the locks on the matrimonial home.
    - 22 recommendations that a parent call the police and have the other parent arrested
    - 92 recommendations to a possible separating parent to read various "domestic violence" websites
    - 211 explicit statements about the other parent
    - 8 recommendations to seek sole custody and supervised access
    - 912 really upset parents who are willing to insult, degrade and publicly shame the other parent of their children

    Social Media and Family Law

    I am trying to figure out a way to cross reference the small thumbnail description of the possible litigant and advice provider to see if there is any commonality between the person requesting advice (sharing information about their family break down) and the responders at this time.

    912 unique profiles is a lot and the data is free form text. Just on first eye balling of the data it is incredible to see how many self described "CRUNCHY" people out there that are experiencing a family breakdown or instructing someone to lock out the other parent from the matrimonial home.

    Reminder to everyone: Public social media sites (facebook/twitter) is probably not the best place to resolve (or get advice) about family breakdowns. It makes for great cogent and relevant evidence in a family law matter.

    Also, if you have 1000+ followers ("friends") it doesn't necessarily mean that you should be sharing with these people your family situation. Furthermore, it doesn't mean that they are your "friend" and providing you good advice.

    Originally posted by Adapted from Fight Club
    Everywhere I travel, tiny life. Single-serving sugar, single-serving cream, single pat of butter. The microwave Cordon Bleu hobby kit. Shampoo-conditioner combos, sample-packaged mouthwash, tiny bars of soap. The people I meet on Twitter/Facebook? They're single-serving "friends".
    Good Luck!
    Tayken
    Last edited by Tayken; 11-02-2012, 02:08 PM.

  • #2
    A friend included my name in a tweet about how exes were hard to deal with.

    I won't go into the details but let's just say I got a call from the cops over some allegations made by my husbands ex over a tweet that I didn't even send out (someone just included my username).

    I've since made some changes to how "open" my twitter account is. Besides, I'd never put anything about their situation anyways.

    Just when you think someone can't sink any lower....they go and lower the bar again!

    Comment


    • #3
      I made the mistake of responding once to a slam on Facebook.

      My Ex's step father made a remark that "its funny how he can afford to try and buy your love with a smartphone when he isn't paying support" on my daughters FB wall. I was civil, in saying that he shouldn't comment on situations when he doesn't have all the facts.

      My daughter immediately unfriended me.

      I then did what I should have done in the first place, and wrote an email to my ex and her Step dad, informing him of the real situation, and asking them to stop putting the child in the middle, and that attempts to alienate the child from her father were not in the best interests of the child.

      The smartphone BTW was $40 more than the cheapest phone with her provider.

      Lesson learned, don't fight in the public media. Even if I was 100% right, the humiliation of my child wasn't worth it.

      Comment


      • #4
        Just did the gender breakdown (as best that can be identified) based on profile pic and twitter profile/name.

        As this is a sample of only 3 hours of data collection it isn't respective of anything in my opinion but, it is interesting to note that the results were very biased against gender.

        Of the 12 "concerning" comments that I would never want a judge to read... 100% of the "concerning" messages were exchanged between a specific gender. Interestingly the 12 subjects self identified as having a mental health condition/diagnosis directly in their profile. (e.g. "I am a parent who has OCD / depression / assburgers.") in their profile description.

        Another interesting note. All of the 12 subjects in question had links to a website/blog/tumbler/live journal. Of the 12 subjects 3 subjects had more than one social media outlet (e.g. blog + live journal). Of those 3 subjects each parent had put incredible amounts of personal details about their children, family situation, mental health condition and incredibly damaging information should it be attached to a motion. (e.g. One parent admitted against interest to screaming at their child.)

        I really need to find about 10 terrabytes of storage to capture a much larger window of data spewing from Twitter. I highly doubt that this 3 hour data sample is reflective of the true nature of social media usage right after an announcement of separation and divorce but, it does have me curious to do more research.

        Good Luck!
        Tayken

        PS: Slughead10 - this is just informational and not evidence in support of any of your theory. It is more to study the use of social media in family separation. The data provided here is about as scientific as Star Wars and is for informational purposes only and not proof or evidence to anything.
        Last edited by Tayken; 11-02-2012, 07:49 PM.

        Comment


        • #5
          "Assburgers" lol.

          You know I know you know it's Asperger's

          I'm not a tweeter but it's pretty incredible what ppl put 'out there.' I dropped FB long, long ago. I actually can't stand it.

          Comment


          • #6
            Funny you said that Slughead...I did notice you telling men who weren't interested in having a larger part in their children's life, all about the cash they could get if they fought for sole or 50/50.You are just as bad as those women of dubious morals, but like to pretend you are different.

            MONEY is the first and foremost thing in most of your advice postings .Its never about counselling for children or ways to cope for children going through divorce ,or help on making amicable separations.Its always fight, fight, fight and money ,money, money!!!!But now you've reminded me of a great Floyd tune...

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by murphyslaw View Post
              Funny you said that Slughead...I did notice you telling men who weren't interested in having a larger part in their children's life, all about the cash they could get if they fought for sole or 50/50.You are just as bad as those women of dubious morals, but like to pretend you are different.

              MONEY is the first and foremost thing in most of your advice postings .Its never about counselling for children or ways to cope for children going through divorce ,or help on making amicable separations.Its always fight, fight, fight and money ,money, money!!!!But now you've reminded me of a great Floyd tune...
              totally agree.

              Comment


              • #8
                Therein lies the entire problem with the custody situation in Ontario.Cash is king.Children's best interest is merely a blip on the horizon.Save money by spending time with kids ....what kind of piece of shit would ONLY spend time with his kids ,to save money?If the money was taken out of the situation for a year or two ,I would wonder what the courts would actually look like?

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by slughead10 View Post
                  or keep the kids from the other parent for cash.......


                  just to keep things in perspective..........
                  Ah yes but that is not what you've been preaching Slughead.You have been all about the cash.You have not been encouraging educated well heeled gents to handle their parental responsibilities ,but rather preaching to deadbeats on how to make a quick buck off their minimum wage ex partners.Not exactly classy.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    In many instances people (men and women) perceive gender bias when they don't get what they want. Its simple math. No where is there a credit or a debit due to gender: female or male. Your perception is irrelevant. Facts are relevant.

                    The recipient of any support receives it because they make less money than the payor. It is legislated in most western civilized countries. If you disagree with it then keep your pecker in your pants, don't reproduce, don't get married.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I would like to hear from parents who have adult children and therefore CS is a non issue. How much time is spent with those children. Just because a child turns 18 doesn't mean the break up of a family has no effect.
                      My x doesnt'; have to deal with CS and interestingly enough he has NOTHING to do with the children, but you can bet on it if he were paying me CS he would be fighting big time
                      No birthday presents, no holidays , nada. So Slughead where is the love?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Momforever: I am witnessing the 'opposite syndrome' happening. Ever since ex paying ORDERED amt of CS thru FRO - he hasn't seen child. I suspect, based on past comments I've heard from my son (that he's heard dad's wife say) that wife is of the mind: screw it, if "we" are paying 'x' dollars per month, we are not having him here and spending more $$.

                        Dad has 2 young ones w/new wife and she loves to shop so the massive increase (from what he previously paid for cs 'voluntarily') has no doubt taken some of the 'bounce' out of her step. The amt is now 5x what he was paying (and for a few years, while we made our way thru court and finally trial).
                        Last edited by hadenough; 11-04-2012, 07:32 PM.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Well, isn;t it interesting that once he is ordered to PAY the ORDERED amount the quantity of time he spends isn't so important.
                          What an interesting concept. I wonder how many children are put in the middle purely based on $$$$, pathetic.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            It always comes down to the money. My son was an adult when we divorced and, of course, my ex has nothing whatsoever to do with his son. If ex were having to pay CS I'm sure he would be taking me to court all the time to have the numbers changed and would try to present himself as superdad. Pretty lame.

                            I had a fantastic relationship with my parents, particularly my father. It is indeed sad that my son will never have the same experience I had. In the end though, it's comforting to know my son chooses not to hang with such a loser. In many ways it makes my life easier because I don't have to hear one single thing about my ex and his skank.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by slughead10 View Post
                              here is an idea for you why dont you take data from this site try to see if there is any correlation between gender and advice given out. like women telling women how to maximize there financial gain in a divorce vs men telling men how to maximize there time with their children.


                              wonder how that would turn out........
                              I am gender de-identifying the results of the correlation of what you are suggesting. It is more around "bad advice" and the impact on outcomes in family breakdowns than specifically what "gender" is providing the bad advice.

                              But, Slughead10 I do have to agree with you on one point. No matter what gender, race, sexual orientation, etc... The major dicsussion that unfolds in any of the discussions on Social Media have *NOTHING* to do with the "best interests" of the children.

                              Looking at the data it is really interesting that there are no instances of anyone (in the limited time frame of collection) recommending that they need to put the kids first and anything about equal residence / joint custody being recommended.

                              It is all incredibly spiteful stuff and very concerning. One would think that Social Media would bring awareness in the positive than "bad advice" and negative suggestions. (e.g. locking out a parent from their primary residency, calling the police, etc...)

                              Good Luck!
                              Tayken

                              Comment

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