I don't have any sources, but the "general knowledge" on the subject suggests that children are abused most often by people close to them, and that step parents are more likely to harbour negative/abusive thoughts towards step children than biological parents do.
I don't have any other explanation for how I was treated by CAS and the police. I was a "good suspect" because I was involved with the children, I was a male, and I was not their parent. 1 + 1 + 1 = 666 in their eyes apparently.
They questioned everything, even "why" was I helping with laundry, or "how" I would wash my son in the bath tub.
An abuser is an abuser. Parents can be abusers, step parents can be absuers.
I agree, in fact step parents can be BETTER parents than bio-parents. However, statistically speaking this may not be the case. I am sure there are great step parents.
How do you know, I haven't even posted what I've found yet
I agree, in fact step parents can be BETTER parents than bio-parents. However, statistically speaking this may not be the case. I am sure there are great step parents.
I agree, what I am wondering is - Does the increased risk of something itself get considered....
I agree probably FAR more. But if 80% were not abusive and 20% were then I wonder?
I do have some issues, all imposed on me by others - not everything is against me.
PErhaps, the possibility exists - are you a step-parent by any chance?
In fact, I'm not a step parent. My ex will be soon, and clearly by extention someone will be a step parent to my kids.
And I think you have to define abuse. Those fuzzy stats may or may not include verbal or emotional abuse, physical abuse or sexual abuse. I don't make light of abuse, I understand it exists, but I also know that stats are often misstated.
And I think you have to define abuse. Those fuzzy stats may or may not include verbal or emotional abuse, physical abuse or sexual abuse. I don't make light of abuse, I understand it exists, but I also know that stats are often misstated.
[13] Allegations of abuse may be a symptom of the failure of a relationship. Blame is an inherent part of the allegation. Sometimes it is wholly warranted; other times it is not. When parties are not communicating, any slight or criticism is magnified. There is a tendency to minimize the other spouse’s good qualities and maximize the bad. Warring spouses are rarely in a position to step back and evaluate the other’s behaviour with objective eyes. Nor are they able to critically assess their own behaviour...
pg 96 Children are at far greater risk of abuse from step-parents than from natural parents. The Christchurch Health and Development Study has collected data from a birth cohort of over 1200 youngsters since 1977. A study of 1019 members of this cohort when they were aged 18 year-olds found an overall prevalence rate of child sexual abuse of 10.4% (n = 132). 31 Sexual abuse included incidents that were not identified as abusive by those interviewed and ranged in severity from intercourse down to leering and suggestive comments. Only 2 (1.5%) of those cases involved natural parents as perpetrators but 22.5% of accused offenders were step-parents. A number of other studies also have indicated that step-fathers are far more likely to engage in serious sexual abuse with their step-daughters than natural fathers. 32,33,34 For example, Finkelhor found that “a step-father was five times more likely to sexually victimise a daughter than was a natural father” . Biological fathers who form strong early attachments with their children and who are actively involved in their children’s nurturing are far less likely to abuse them. Paternal support in the form of affection, promotion of independence, and positive modelling / fairness reduces the likelihood of abuse. Furthermore, a strong father / child bond acts as a mitigating effect, reducing the chance of children developing ongoing problems should they suffer maltreatment in the future.
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Remarriage is generally considered positive because of the financial aspect and it "makes the mother happy" but I THINK that is just an assumption and the net impact on the children is negative (just theorizing here).
Not sure how much I can rely upon information from "The Christchurch Health and Development Study" as how it is re-presented. Not sure what is going on in NZ but, these statistics (as presented above) are whack. 1200 is too small of a sample size to draw any sort of conclusion like the author of this book is trying to apply. I hate selective edits when people are citing "statistics".
Not sure if you are a student of mathematical statistics but, I can offer you my opinion: I suspect that none were applied to the example you have provided. Or if they were applied, they were possibly applied incorrectly or manipulated in the re-publication process to support the author of this book's "theory"...
One of my online nemisises from another forum used to ask the question; therefore what?
Even if we do take one study as accurate, and as a trained social scientist, I wouldn't do that, what would you suggest? Should no one remarry when there are kids involved? So you punish 90 % of the population (and I would suggest it is higher).
I would suggest that couples considering getting married after divorces who have children go slow and take great deliberate care in moving forward, not because of potential abuse, but because of other issues in blending families that are far more common than abuse.
How children do after divorce is largely a function of how their parents handle the divorce and following outcomes..ie the children of a bitter, angry, misogynist who constantly shows disdain towards their mother, her new partner and women in general will probably have a harder time adjusting.
And why would the courts care about a higher probability of abuse by step-parents??? The courts care when a crime has been committed and only then. I'm interracial and black people statistically commit more crimes ...does that mean the court should pre-judge me a criminal? Or should it affect my custody outcome because my ex is white???
The very idea of prejudgment based on a statistic is offensive. And you only bring it up because..as per usual...you're pissed that your ex has a new partner and is free from you to do as she pleases.
The very idea of prejudgment based on a statistic is offensive. And you only bring it up because..as per usual...you're pissed that your ex has a new partner and is free from you to do as she pleases.
PH:
"Ears are a wasted appendage on him. He hears, but does not listen." - Justice Quinn
...and...
"Too many litigants hijack Family Court, squandering valuable and diminishing resources in the process. Anyone can walk into a court house and frivolously start or defend a proceeding that, like a runaway train, is difficult to halt in a timely manner and not before damage is done." - Justice Quinn
I am going to give it from a step parents point of view.
If a bio-mom or Dad tells the kids to clean their room, or takes a toy away or whatever, it is a normal part of parenting. If a step parent does this, some children take it as they are being "mean" and not treating them fairly.
What constitutes abuse in your eyes Links? Verbal? Sexual? Physical? Mental? Is a step parent verbally abusive because they verbally reprimand a child? Is a step parent mentally abusive because they tell a child they are not trying hard enough? Is a step parent physically abusive because they force a young child to hold their hand in a busy parking lot?
All the above would be normal for a parent to do, but if a step parent does them, some people may cry abuse. I am not saying abuse from step parents doesn't happen. But often there are bio parents that cry abuse because they don't like that step parents also parent their children.
I was told last night by my 5 year old step daughter, that I had a stupid rule because I made my step kids put their own laundry away. I washed, folded and delivered to their rooms, at 5 (almost 6) and 8 (almost 9) they are more than capable of putting their laundry away. It doesn't have to be perfect, no one expects it to be, but they can open drawers and put their clothes in. She went on to say at Mommy's house all their laundry stays downstairs in the laundry room so they don't have to put it away. Too bad so sad, at our house, everyone is expected to pull their weight. S8 does so no problem, it is usually D5 that complains.
Would you say then that , in this case step mom continually telling 7 year old that they cannot talk about mommy, mommy lies or child is not allowed bring any items from their home to her home. Is this not a form of emotional abuse
Would you say then that , in this case step mom continually telling 7 year old that they cannot talk about mommy, mommy lies or child is not allowed bring any items from their home to her home. Is this not a form of emotional abuse
I'd say you are reacting to a seven year old who may have a very different perception of what is going on than an adult would.
I'd also say that abuse would be a stretch. Abuse implies intent or willfull disregard.
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