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Trying to keep this simple...she was the applicant and stated the children will reside with me. This has been the case for 2 years and over the last few months my eldest has been spending more time with her (3 nights a week or so). In the past, he would not even see her for several weeks and having both boys with her overnight would only occur once every 6 months or so.
I tried to get her to set a regular schedule in Jan of this year, to which she said it didn't suit her to do so.
There has been some tension between my oldest and myself and my GF (who lives with us) and I am more of one to keep on top of him re school work etc (he is 15).
I wrote a letter asking to meet with my ex to discuss the situation, accommodations (She has a bachelor apartment) and how she will work with him on school work (she has never done so in the past and I did all extra-curricular activities, parent teacher interviews etc).
Her reply (in written) form was : he now lives with her FT as of yesterday, I need to supply letter of acknowledgment of such to Ontario Works of such, to supply his Health card (which I will do as it should be in his possession) and supply to her his passport.
This has been building for a while (in that she has obviously been discussing the move with him) and I also see it as a way for him to not deal with some issues (avoidance). He and I did attend counselling and he stopped going as the counsellor said that he could not expect me to not have a GF - that was the only acceptable solution for him
If his wishes are to be with her, I can't go against that, however, she is in breach of the final order, has total dis-regard for what is in the order (ie she was to have mutually arranged visits and this doesn't occur - I have complained to her about that. She makes arrangements with them directly and I hate to say no as they were infrequent) and is in it for the money (ie CS).
Paying CS is not an issue for me, but why have final orders if she is just doing what she wants and making demands of me - she is also engaging her sister to slander me to her family and is threatening to do the same to mine (they live in Australia and I do not have family here in Canada).
I do not wish to turn my son against me by not supporting him (ie CS) so have been giving cash to him...however, I will also not act to her demands (she wants these documents today) so is threatening and by duress trying to intimidate me...I don't have a lawyer, I self-represented in court and did fine in that, however, I also need to time make my own decisions and have a right to legal counsel etc.
My questions are:
1. Should I direct her to have her lawyer and Ontario Works communicate with me (she has told me she will not communicate directly with me or meet with me to discuss). She wrote the note making demands and intimations, not a lawyer.
2. Do I also do a motion in court that she is not following the final order, refusing to let me speak with my son (if he doesn't want to, then I will honor that) and go through the process correctly.
3. Do I continue to give my son cash (if I get to see him/drop it off to him - mutually arranged) so as to ensure he has food and clothing etc?
4. Should I address the threats against me / attempting to get me to provide information under duress (or put that into a motion, see question 2) and possible slander on her part? or can she basically do what she wants?
I don't want to get into a public slanging match with her as she has had a lot of issues in the past - investigated by CAS for physical abuse, an affair with a neighbor, put in writing that she wanted me penniless even if I had the kids FT, put in writing that she should not have to work at all (the judge noted that against her in the divorce case conference), only did basic parenting I did the rest when married (in writing as well) etc.
I am a beer drinker but don't get moody or belligerent - my eldest and I did have 2 physical altercations,so I am not saying I am perfect by any means, but have been providing FT care for them for a long time without issue. Some of this may be teenager stuff, however, I will have to move if paying CS and new accommodations will be smaller, so this is not an 'every 6 months' type of situation.
Any thoughts on the above questions?
I tried to get her to set a regular schedule in Jan of this year, to which she said it didn't suit her to do so.
There has been some tension between my oldest and myself and my GF (who lives with us) and I am more of one to keep on top of him re school work etc (he is 15).
I wrote a letter asking to meet with my ex to discuss the situation, accommodations (She has a bachelor apartment) and how she will work with him on school work (she has never done so in the past and I did all extra-curricular activities, parent teacher interviews etc).
Her reply (in written) form was : he now lives with her FT as of yesterday, I need to supply letter of acknowledgment of such to Ontario Works of such, to supply his Health card (which I will do as it should be in his possession) and supply to her his passport.
This has been building for a while (in that she has obviously been discussing the move with him) and I also see it as a way for him to not deal with some issues (avoidance). He and I did attend counselling and he stopped going as the counsellor said that he could not expect me to not have a GF - that was the only acceptable solution for him
If his wishes are to be with her, I can't go against that, however, she is in breach of the final order, has total dis-regard for what is in the order (ie she was to have mutually arranged visits and this doesn't occur - I have complained to her about that. She makes arrangements with them directly and I hate to say no as they were infrequent) and is in it for the money (ie CS).
Paying CS is not an issue for me, but why have final orders if she is just doing what she wants and making demands of me - she is also engaging her sister to slander me to her family and is threatening to do the same to mine (they live in Australia and I do not have family here in Canada).
I do not wish to turn my son against me by not supporting him (ie CS) so have been giving cash to him...however, I will also not act to her demands (she wants these documents today) so is threatening and by duress trying to intimidate me...I don't have a lawyer, I self-represented in court and did fine in that, however, I also need to time make my own decisions and have a right to legal counsel etc.
My questions are:
1. Should I direct her to have her lawyer and Ontario Works communicate with me (she has told me she will not communicate directly with me or meet with me to discuss). She wrote the note making demands and intimations, not a lawyer.
2. Do I also do a motion in court that she is not following the final order, refusing to let me speak with my son (if he doesn't want to, then I will honor that) and go through the process correctly.
3. Do I continue to give my son cash (if I get to see him/drop it off to him - mutually arranged) so as to ensure he has food and clothing etc?
4. Should I address the threats against me / attempting to get me to provide information under duress (or put that into a motion, see question 2) and possible slander on her part? or can she basically do what she wants?
I don't want to get into a public slanging match with her as she has had a lot of issues in the past - investigated by CAS for physical abuse, an affair with a neighbor, put in writing that she wanted me penniless even if I had the kids FT, put in writing that she should not have to work at all (the judge noted that against her in the divorce case conference), only did basic parenting I did the rest when married (in writing as well) etc.
I am a beer drinker but don't get moody or belligerent - my eldest and I did have 2 physical altercations,so I am not saying I am perfect by any means, but have been providing FT care for them for a long time without issue. Some of this may be teenager stuff, however, I will have to move if paying CS and new accommodations will be smaller, so this is not an 'every 6 months' type of situation.
Any thoughts on the above questions?
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