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  • Is it chance high for a motion of change

    my wife (now ex) has got a prohibition order from me accessing the kids. I have done nothing but just left them because she's always used the kids to trying to control over me. I couldn't stop her keep using the kids doing that. So I simply left and left everything to her and kids. I have been paying the house and phone, internet, utilities etc.. But she hired a lawyer and filed a very aggressive application to require to keep everything exclusively and pay a lump sum support (50k) also prohibiting me to access the children and contact her in anyways. I didn't attend the case conference because I was living outside of Canada that I had a work to do. However, the judge simply ordered whatever she applied and never read my response. Now the divorce has been issued by the order along with all the requests she asked have been ordered. It's just because of my fault not attending the case conference. The worse is once she got the order she stopped doing anything but leaving me still paying her bills.

    Now I'm back to Canada. I'd like to file a motion change. Did my ignorance for the case conference affect the motion of change? what best progress should I take? I don't want to go for a lawyer anymore because I couldn't afford it.

    The children badly want to see me but since she got the order I just can't take a step.

    I could have paid her the one time support lump sum but it's been almost a year that I've been paying her bills. plus the order prohibiting me seeing kids.

    I knew I had made big mistakes from beginning. Any advice? Do you see if it's possible to get a turn over?

    many thanks.

  • #2
    Get a Lawyer!

    Get a lawyer!
    First stop paying her bills:
    If you are paying spousal support and child support unless the order says to pay don't (check with lawyer).

    Second access:
    No court would deny access permanently unless there was physical/mental abuse to the children on your part which has to be unquestionably proven. That said it is possible to gain access and even custody. (GET A LAWYER)

    Normally once an order is issued a judge is reluctant to change, however remeber the courts like it when the children see both parents. The courts do not like it when parents bash each other in front of the children or use the children to get at each other.
    Unfrotunately unlike civil court or criminal court the court is reluctant to take action against a parent especially if the parent is the one with custody.
    Again it is really hard to tell you exactly what to do is except one thing....

    GET A LAWYER!

    Also make sure you check out the lawyer good, ask alot of questions, and you can always see other lawyers before you decide or even switch if you are not happy durring the legal process.

    Just a point:
    I knew a perosn who gave up custody of their children completely they then got a lawyer went back to court, fought, and got joint custody.

    For child support payment amounts you should review the federal child support guidelines. I believe there is is one for spousal support too. The website is in the department of justice website (google federal child/spousal support guidlelines).

    Regardless you should Get a Lawyer

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by microcrashboy View Post
      Get a lawyer!
      First stop paying her bills:
      If you are paying spousal support and child support unless the order says to pay don't (check with lawyer).

      Second access:
      No court would deny access permanently unless there was physical/mental abuse to the children on your part which has to be unquestionably proven. That said it is possible to gain access and even custody. (GET A LAWYER)

      Normally once an order is issued a judge is reluctant to change, however remeber the courts like it when the children see both parents. The courts do not like it when parents bash each other in front of the children or use the children to get at each other.
      Unfrotunately unlike civil court or criminal court the court is reluctant to take action against a parent especially if the parent is the one with custody.
      Again it is really hard to tell you exactly what to do is except one thing....

      GET A LAWYER!

      Also make sure you check out the lawyer good, ask alot of questions, and you can always see other lawyers before you decide or even switch if you are not happy durring the legal process.

      Just a point:
      I knew a perosn who gave up custody of their children completely they then got a lawyer went back to court, fought, and got joint custody.

      For child support payment amounts you should review the federal child support guidelines. I believe there is is one for spousal support too. The website is in the department of justice website (google federal child/spousal support guidlelines).

      Regardless you should Get a Lawyer

      Hi thanks for your advice. I like the points I quoted


      unfortunately the judge has ordered that I keep paying the bills until all requests get stamped.

      I used to have a lawyer and filed a response at first hit back. but she then fired her lawyer and get a new one, all our requests get ignored and started again. I then terminated my lawyer due to the slow progress. I thought the court would at least review some of my points made in the response form but hell not even been glanced by the judge I guess.

      get a lawyer to do the write thing is the big problem. I live out side Canada. and she just lives in the neighbour of the court of the city.

      Is it possible I file a new application in another province where I like to settle down and being an application like what she's done? would the old file get reviewed by different court and judge?

      looking forward to more advice.

      Comment


      • #4
        More of the same!

        As for the lawyer:
        If you have a slow or crappy lawyer you have to be on their case and remind them they work for you, if not move onto the next. Unfortunately you may have to go through several before you find the right one for you.

        You can hire a lawyer from anywhere I am unsure if you have to be pressent in court. Again ask a lawyer.

        Filing to move the case to another province:
        Not likely. The court hears the case in the province, court where the child(ren) reside.

        Paying Utility Bills:
        Well I would say the judge is out to lunch! You should have appealed, simply on the gorunds it is not within the child/spousal support guidelines, or simply impossible to calculate. Your payment could go from $200 a month to $5,000 if she was wicked enough or even smart enough. Then what would you do? You definitely need to talk to a lawyer on that one.

        Remeber just because a judge makes an order it does not nessarily mean it is right or even legal this is why we have an appeals proceess. The problem is judges know this and sometimes use this as an advantage by weighing wether you can afford to appeal or not.

        All I can say to you is this:

        1. separation cases are rarely simply
        2. If you are asking questions this tells me you are wanting to know more - check out the federal websites and also canlawii to learn more about case precedence search "utility bills" who knows
        3. get a lawyer if the one you have sucks fire him/her get a new one
        4. another big issue is the kids if you have any, their age and their interest in knowing you

        Remember you can talk to a lawyer over the phone you do not have to be in person.

        The courts sometimes listen to the kids wishes provided they are old enough (8-13) if they are not sometimes a children's lawyer is an option.

        If you are planning to move back to Canada and decided to attempt even joint custody, the courts look favourably on parents that wish to be in the childrens lives - regradless what the other parent wishes.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by hastings View Post
          my wife (now ex) has got a prohibition order from me accessing the kids. I have done nothing but just left them because she's always used the kids to trying to control over me. I couldn't stop her keep using the kids doing that. So I simply left and left everything to her and kids. I have been paying the house and phone, internet, utilities etc.. But she hired a lawyer and filed a very aggressive application to require to keep everything exclusively and pay a lump sum support (50k) also prohibiting me to access the children and contact her in anyways. I didn't attend the case conference because I was living outside of Canada that I had a work to do. However, the judge simply ordered whatever she applied and never read my response. Now the divorce has been issued by the order along with all the requests she asked have been ordered. It's just because of my fault not attending the case conference. The worse is once she got the order she stopped doing anything but leaving me still paying her bills.

          Now I'm back to Canada. I'd like to file a motion change. Did my ignorance for the case conference affect the motion of change? what best progress should I take? I don't want to go for a lawyer anymore because I couldn't afford it.

          The children badly want to see me but since she got the order I just can't take a step.

          I could have paid her the one time support lump sum but it's been almost a year that I've been paying her bills. plus the order prohibiting me seeing kids.

          I knew I had made big mistakes from beginning. Any advice? Do you see if it's possible to get a turn over?

          many thanks.
          Your only recourse now is an Appeal in my opinion but, that is a big long shot. This isn't about "lawyers" this is about parenting your children. There are steps to take to demonstrate this and you haven't taken any of them.

          Hate to put it that way. You live in a different jurisdiction than where your children primarily reside. Forum shopping (jurisdiction shopping) will NOT work. The court for which matters are being heard is set. You have to deal with that court.

          Where you live is well within your control. You can find new employment, move closer to your children, etc... You can demonstrate to the court that you want to be a parent if you want to. It takes time after something like this happening.

          There is no quick-win on this matter.

          Good Luck!
          Tayken

          Comment

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