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What should I pay for ?

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  • What should I pay for ?

    Ok, so I am paying my child support every month but none of the other issues regarding support for my child have been sorted out yet.

    I am going to tell my ex tomorrow that I now have benefits for our son, and leave the ball in her court from there on. If she does not use my benefits, then my part is done and I will be able to show proof that I informed her of same, yet she did not make use of them.

    However, my ex has been hitting me up for extra cash lately. She want's $20 for this $50 for that. For example, she wanted $25 recently for miscellaneous things for our son. Of course, I feel that those odds and ends are covered by my child support that I pay each month. Recently she told me she needed more money for " various things he needs" and I simply told her to do up a list and let me know. I am more than willing to pay for extra things for our son, without the courts or lawyers intervention, however I am not willing to pay for odds and ends that are covered by my child support payments. I am willing to pay for things that would normally be covered by the secton 7 "extraordinary" expenses...such as swimming lessons or camp fees for the summer. I just got home and she had a message left on my phone saying that she wanted to discuss this with me. I want to call her back but I am unsure how to tell her that what I am willing to pay for and what I feel is already covered by child support.

    What kinds of things should I agree to if she asks for money for them? I am not sure what is reasonable and what is not. I can't just keep handing her out cash above and beyond what I pay in child support, for things that are already supposed to be covered with the CS. I can't afford to do that. Also, is it acceptable to just hand her over the money for these things? I do not trust that the money is going to necessarily be spent on swimming lessons and I would prefer to tell her that I will go directly to pay for his lessons or whatever the activity may be.

    Any input would be appreciated. Thanks.
    GDGM

  • #2
    If it was me I would pay for the swimming or whatever directly and get a receipt in your name. I woud not just hand over cash to her.

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    • #3
      CS pays for everyday living expenses helps with food, housing- fixed expenses........extraordinary expenses covers everything else-variable expenses.....daycare, swimming, hockey, etc........extraordinary expenses are split between both parents based in income ratio....example you make 60k$/yr she makes 35k/yr....you pay 60% and she pays 40%.......but these extra expenses are to be paid and receipt provided to prove the expenses has incurred.....custodial parent pays then non custodial parent reimburses.....simplifies the process.....for daycare if you are non custodial parent you can ask for 60% receipt in your name for income tax purposes.......same as hockey especially now with reimbursement from province.....hope this helps

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      • #4
        Just my two cents

        Reasonable extra ordinary expenses -

        The cost to facilitate the child's access travel expenses could also fall into this category after all the child's access is apparently in the child's best interest for it to occur. As such, since access belongs to the child - its more than reasonable to conclude that the cost or physical participation in same should be shared between the parents.

        However, this amount often gets forgotten and for some parents tallies to be hundreds of dollars in a month.


        lv

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        • #5
          Technically... swimming, hockey, etc., etc., etc., are covered by child support.

          Daycare is not.

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          • #6
            Swimming lessons?

            When I went to court the judge told me that swimming lessons and day camp are covered in CS. If the lessons and day camp are a daycare requirement than the cost is shared...but not if they are just for fun.

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            • #7
              Well, I called the ex. I found it interesting how she started the conversation by asking me if I wanted to take our son more!! I was shocked but I very quickly found out why she was being generous with more time with our son. As soon as I said I would absolutely love to take him more, she jumped to wanting more money from me. I told her that she should do up a list of what she needs money for our son, and I would look at it. She then said she needed money because sometimes he doesn't have milk...guilt trip....he needs ice cream at school....and I told her that all of those things are covered in the child support I pay every month. However, she doesn't feel I am legitimately paying support because, as she said it, " but I don't see any of that, welfare takes it." YOu've got to be kidding me! So now I'm not really paying child support because she's on welfare and they take it dime for dime!

              I told her that I would pay for some lessons for the summer, camp fees and I also told her that I'd pay for his medical, dental and vision care. She didn't like that too much because these are things that welfare already covers and it doesn't mean extra money in her pocket. Why can't she see that if she'd just get up and go to work, like every one else, then everything I gave her would be above and beyond what she would take home in her own wage. I would take care of our son 100% financially and all she'd have to do is pay her own way in life. I just don't make enough money to support myself and her and my son 100%. Wish I did...but I just don't.

              In any event, she agreed to do up a list but I'm pretty sure it's gonna be for the same things I am already paying for with Child Support. Guess we'll have to see. I just wish that ex would come to her senses and realize that if our son is doing without milk and ice cream, that it's because of her, not me...I'm doing my part financially.

              GDGM

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              • #8
                Summer Camp

                Why is your son going to summer camp? If she is not working then why the need for camp? I know camp is a fun summer activity...but come on...she is home all day. She could have lots of fun this summer with her son and could do on the cheap. Parks,nature walks and friends over...I would question the camp thing.

                There are also camp stops for low income families she could explore this option.

                I work in non-profit so I know spots are set aside for low income and single parents.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by gooddadgoingmad
                  Well, I called the ex. I found it interesting how she started the conversation by asking me if I wanted to take our son more!! I was shocked but I very quickly found out why she was being generous with more time with our son. As soon as I said I would absolutely love to take him more, she jumped to wanting more money from me. GDGM
                  Parent buying child... gee, I'm shocked.

                  btw, your ex is not the first, nor will be the last, recipient of support to cry poverty... the "poor me" story. good luck.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    GDGM we have the same type of situation going on here as well..stick to your guns on this...if what she is talking about is milk and ice cream..well then take that money and buy her a budgeting book...give a man a fish he eats for a day..teach a man to fish he eats for a life time as they say...

                    If she is lousy at financial planning you can't do anything about it..you are doing what you need to do..the rest is out of your hands.

                    Comment

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