Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

In the name of "health"...

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • In the name of "health"...

    Posting this situation...this time, regarding my S6.
    It presents itself, from time, to time.

    So lastnight, was my S6's night with me. He was at "Grandma's", so I had to pick him up there.

    My D4 is with me.

    While waiting for S6 to get his stuff together, and making chit-chat with the ex's in-laws over there, my D4 is being chatty, and mentions that she may have "puked" at some time, in the past week or so? I don't think she knew when this was, but was likely bringing up a past incident. For whatever reason, my kids think it's funny to talk about "puke" sometimes. D4 is fine, and has shown no signs of being sick. She continues to be fine.

    Upon hearing this, the ex's mom-in-law (Grandma), gets very paranoid, and insists on calling the ex first, to see if she should release S6 into my care. "See if she wants him exposed...."

    I told her, that is not necessary, as clearly D4 is fine, and we need to get going. She did not withold my S6, but you could tell she was not happy to release him to me now, and both "in-laws" kind of tried shaming me, on their doorstep, telling me how the flu is very contagious, and it would be a shame if S6 gets sick because of this. Because my D4 mentioned "puke".

    The ex, and her side of family is very paranoid, when it comes to illness, and "germs", I find.

    The funny thing is, my S6 has already been exposed to "germs", because that whole side of the family, including those "in-laws" has already had the flu. S6's mom, and step-dad, his little sister over there...the grandparents, the cousin he plays with all the time, everyone. My S6 has been lucky, in that he hasn't been sick yet. But everyone on her side, has been sick with the flu.

    Anyway, I ended up leaving with S6 and D4.
    This morning, ex sent email to my work, asking if D4 has the flu, and how she wished D4's Mom would have kept D4 instead of my having her, as responsible parents would not expose other kids to germs. I take that comment, probably was intended for me too, but she wasn't naming me. lol.

    I simply replied to her, saying that D4 doesn't have the flu, and that nobody in our household has been ill. I also told her that S6 has already been exposed with everyone else being sick.

    Of course, that did not register with her, and the emails continued with how "it's her right, to inquire about health..." and how she will believe her mom-in-law's take on things, before mine, and if S6 gets sick now, she's going to be mad, etc, etc.

    How do you guys deal with this, when it comes up?
    I don't want to paint this as a "denied parenting time" instance, although that is what Grandma's wish was, because it did not happen, and sometimes, the ex has asked me to take S6, if she gets a wiff of anyone being sick in their household. It's just a paranoia thing with them.

    Their "parenting" style, is to try and seclude any kid who isn't sick yet, or secluding family members. Ex. one of them will go stay at another house, to try and avoid others in same household getting sick.

    Forget the fact, that people have already been exposed, before symptoms start appearing, or that S6 is at a "germ party" everyday, when he's at school. lol.

  • #2
    Geez, I ramble...

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by dad2bandm View Post
      Geez, I ramble...

      lol...my head hurts

      I think I'm getting the flu just from reading ur post (lol)

      Comment


      • #4
        The other side of the family is being ridiculous. If your six year old goes to school, they're going to pick up all kinds of things anyway.

        I don't know of any constructive way of dealing with it, but I would keep the emails to have a record of the pattern of crazy.

        Suspecting a kid at the other parent's house might possibly have been sick at some point is definitely not reason enough to withhold access. My kids have brought home all kinds of virii from ex's other kids. It's just life. Had it not been from them, it would be from some other kid at school.

        Your ex's family should stay the heck away from kids if they don't want to be around germs. People say rats brought the plague, but I'd bet it was children

        Comment


        • #5
          Just ignore it. I know its hard but this is not a fight worth fighting. She has not really done anything and has just stated an opinion, and since you are not with her, I am guessing her opinion does not matter much to you. Don't get drawn in to this arguement.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by dad2bandm View Post
            responsible parents would not expose other kids to germs.
            How does she feel about chicken pox parties? Or vaccines? Or realizing that kids get germs from school all the time? Or that puking is not a common symptom of the flu? Or that the most contagious period is not the aftermath of illness, it's the time before symptoms develop?

            School is a much bigger exposure to germs than your home is, and neither of you is taking the child out of school as a preventative measure, so there's no reason to keep the child from your home.

            Tell her you'll use it as an opportunity to emphasize the importance of good handwashing.

            However, hypochondria is an anxiety-based disorder, which means logic doesn't work very well.

            Comment


            • #7
              I reply to the email with:

              Thank you for your concern about d4, but not to worry, she is fine. I will continue to ensure the health and safety of the kids is a priority.

              Thanks,
              Dad

              And than say nothing. Your mentioning that her side has all been sick did nothing but aggitate her. It served no other purpose other than to satisfy yourself and lob the gernade she tossed at you, back at her.

              Next time don't do it. Keep your reply short and sweet and kid centric. The second you fall off the child as being the focus and shift it to her (as you did when you accused her of exactly what she accused you of) you start down the slippery slope into nut-jobbery.

              Comment

              Our Divorce Forums
              Forums dedicated to helping people all across Canada get through the separation and divorce process, with discussions about legal issues, parenting issues, financial issues and more.
              Working...
              X