Hi all,
I've been checking out the site & learning but have a few questions (which I'll post at the end).
My husband & I were together for 22 years & have 2 teens. We really did have a great marriage until the year before he left (almost 2 yrs ago) when it became obvious he was very unhappy with his life. I tried to be understanding & supportive but he left anyway. It was devastating for me & the kids but this year we are in a much happier place. He took a position outside Canada with his employer & we have little contact with him. He visits 2x year and I always let him stay with us as I'm afraid he won't see the children otherwise (1-2 wks each visit- very stressful for me!). I intend to continue this arrangement until the youngest finishes high school.
It took me a year to realize he wasn't coming back (kept saying he would throughout the 1st year that he just needed space to sort his life out). Of course old story comes out- partying & had a young girlfriend the whole time.
Due to his job we moved every 2-3 years, I worked part-time whenever possible. Now I'm working full-time as a temp & looking for something permanent while upgrading my skills at night.
We are starting to finalize an agreement (so far he puts money in a joint account to cover bills) and this is where my questions come up- (please keep in mind I want this to be as amicable as possible in the hopes he'll come around & build a good relationship with our kids).
1) Should I go through FRO? Some people seem to have negative associations with them.
2) I've agreed to not include any of his bonuses (which are significant when he is overseas) in CS or SS. On the other hand, he said if I do include them he may return to Canada to avoid paying them. This may be a good thing for our kids as he would move to the same city & hopefully see them more.
Advice from anyone whose ex doesn't have alot of involvement with their kids & how you dealt with it would be appreciated.
Thanks for any advice, divorce sucks!
I've been checking out the site & learning but have a few questions (which I'll post at the end).
My husband & I were together for 22 years & have 2 teens. We really did have a great marriage until the year before he left (almost 2 yrs ago) when it became obvious he was very unhappy with his life. I tried to be understanding & supportive but he left anyway. It was devastating for me & the kids but this year we are in a much happier place. He took a position outside Canada with his employer & we have little contact with him. He visits 2x year and I always let him stay with us as I'm afraid he won't see the children otherwise (1-2 wks each visit- very stressful for me!). I intend to continue this arrangement until the youngest finishes high school.
It took me a year to realize he wasn't coming back (kept saying he would throughout the 1st year that he just needed space to sort his life out). Of course old story comes out- partying & had a young girlfriend the whole time.
Due to his job we moved every 2-3 years, I worked part-time whenever possible. Now I'm working full-time as a temp & looking for something permanent while upgrading my skills at night.
We are starting to finalize an agreement (so far he puts money in a joint account to cover bills) and this is where my questions come up- (please keep in mind I want this to be as amicable as possible in the hopes he'll come around & build a good relationship with our kids).
1) Should I go through FRO? Some people seem to have negative associations with them.
2) I've agreed to not include any of his bonuses (which are significant when he is overseas) in CS or SS. On the other hand, he said if I do include them he may return to Canada to avoid paying them. This may be a good thing for our kids as he would move to the same city & hopefully see them more.
Advice from anyone whose ex doesn't have alot of involvement with their kids & how you dealt with it would be appreciated.
Thanks for any advice, divorce sucks!
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